termination at 19 weeks for medical reason

[Anonymous]

I don't know if this is the right place to post, but I was wondering if anyone here had to terminate for medical reasons. unfortunately the amnio result shows that our baby has T18. I have scheduled an appointment in NYC (my family live there) for termination for Wednesday. I just realized that they want to dilate the cervix for two days before actually performing the procedure. I didn't want to have L&D because it is just emotionally too painful for me and I don't think I can handle it well. But now I think waiting for two days for this procedure will be even more traumatizing for me. I am currently 19 weeks. HAs anyone had D&E for medical reasons? If so, how was the procedure like? did they have to dilate the cervix for two days?please help. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I don't have any advice for you, but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you're going through this. Big hugs, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am so sorry you're going through this. I don't have direct experience, but from what I've read, what you're describing sounds like standard procedure. The dilation is often done with sticks of sterilized seaweed, called laminaria. It's important that they do this so that your cervix is not damaged during the abortion.

I think that the Babycenter group of women who have terminated pregnancies may be an additional source of support for you. There are also lots of posters who have talked about what the experience feels like and what to expect.

http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a6325/termination_for_medical_reasons

[Anonymous]

OP. I am so sorry. The saddest thing I have had to do in my adult life is terminate at 12 weeks because of T18. I believe what I had was a D&E with anesthesia, but the earlier point in pregnancy made it less complicated than what you will go through. Honestly, I cannot tell you whether L&D would be easier. It is all just hard. It is wise to be near you family.

Good luck to you. It will get better. I kn ow it doesn't seem like it. Hold on. You are doing what you believe is the right thing. And then you can have a new day when it's over. I highly recommend letting yourself cry and grieve.

Best wishes.

[Anonymous]

PP here again. With the anesthesia, I cried as I went under and woke up in the recovery room. I didn't remember much except being asked how far along I was and counting backwards. I was given antibiotics and spent the rest of the day curled up in front of the tv. Only a little spotting.

[Anonymous]

I had a TMR at much earlier on in my pregnancy, so no advice to offer. Just sadness and thoughts for you. Good luck - I hope for quick healing (both physically and mentally).

[Anonymous]

Best of luck to you OP.

[Anonymous]

OP i am so sorry!!! Hugs to you.... this post brought tears to my eyes.....

[Anonymous]

I am sorry. Blessings to you. Please seek out those who know what you are going through.

http://t18moms.com/families.shtml

[Anonymous]

OP I do not want to pry, as this is painful for you, but what made you do the amnio? I am curious b/c I did a CVS for my first pregnancy but I do not know ANYONE else who has ever done an amnio or CVS. I am curious if people do genetic testing just to make sure everything is OK, or if there are signs something is wrong ahead of time?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you all for your support. This is emotionally very hard on me and my husband. I just try to comfort myself by hoping that I will get through this. I just wish I could just be sedated from day 1 until the day of the procedure. I don't know how to go through those two days prior to the procedure.
PP: I did the amnio due to advanced maternal age(37). I think it is a wise decision to do genetic testing if you are above 35. Some people do it regardless of their age just to make sure everything is ok. Some wait for the Nuchal Translucency test(combination of blood work and ultrasound) and if the result shows increased chance of a genetic problem they choose CVS or amnio. I know many people who have done CVS. Looking back, I wish I had done CVS myself.

[Anonymous]

Please, go easy on yourself and feel free to ask the doctor if they'll give you a script for anti-anxiety drugs. Hugs and strength to you.

[Anonymous]

I would beg you to reconsider terminating the life of your little baby. I found out at my ultrasound with my baby at 20 weeks that she had anencephaly, which meant she would not live long if even born alive. I carried her to term and gave birth to her. Angela Marie we named her. Angela lived for three days before dying in my arms. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. She touched so many lives in her very short three days and was so very loved. Do not deprive yourself of this experience. It will be hard, yes, the hardest thing you'll probably ever do. However, to be able to witness to the culture of death that life is beautiful in all it's manifestations is incredible. You do not have to terminate. There is another option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would beg you to reconsider terminating the life of your little baby. I found out at my ultrasound with my baby at 20 weeks that she had anencephaly, which meant she would not live long if even born alive. I carried her to term and gave birth to her. Angela Marie we named her. Angela lived for three days before dying in my arms. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. She touched so many lives in her very short three days and was so very loved. Do not deprive yourself of this experience. It will be hard, yes, the hardest thing you'll probably ever do. However, to be able to witness to the culture of death that life is beautiful in all it's manifestations is incredible. You do not have to terminate. There is another option.

This is an unnecessary post and hurtful to the OP. She's made her decision. It's not your place to suggest she re-consider her choice. She is looking for support, not judgement. I'm sorry for your loss, but you made the decision you were most comfortable with. The OP is entitled to make her own decision too.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP!!!