For people saying they care about body count

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This is such a bizarre claim. I can't think of a faith-based conviction about this that I have ever heard expressed in terms that make it sound like number of partners would be material. None of the faiths with this conviction have a rider clause for "if you only did it with one person it doesn't count" or w/ev it is you are picturing.

Many Christian religions teach that sex outside of marriage is a sin. Starting there, a person who believes this tenet would care how many partners a potential mate has had since it indicates the potential mate's adherence to this tenet.

For example, Larla is dating Larry. Larry has told Larla that he believes the same principles of faith that Larla does (including the tenet that sex outside of marriage is a sin.) Larla asks Larry how many partners he has had. His reply, "I had one, my wife" (and Larry is dating because he is a widower), indicates a greater adherence to this tenet than a reply of "I had 20 before I married, and 15 more after my wife passed." Asking this question allows Larla to consider how Larry has applied this tenet to his life.

I think you are confused about who the number of partners is material to. However, your post is poorly written it is hard to tell. In a religion that believes that sex outside of marriage is a sin, each act of having sex in this way is a sin. And more sin would be worse than less sin.

Each of these religions also has a process for repentance that wipes away all sin, whatever its magnitude was in the first place. So while Larla may find Larry’s number of interest, it’s not because of her religious beliefs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is such a bizarre claim. I can't think of a faith-based conviction about this that I have ever heard expressed in terms that make it sound like number of partners would be material. None of the faiths with this conviction have a rider clause for "if you only did it with one person it doesn't count" or w/ev it is you are picturing.

Many Christian religions teach that sex outside of marriage is a sin. Starting there, a person who believes this tenet would care how many partners a potential mate has had since it indicates the potential mate's adherence to this tenet.

For example, Larla is dating Larry. Larry has told Larla that he believes the same principles of faith that Larla does (including the tenet that sex outside of marriage is a sin.) Larla asks Larry how many partners he has had. His reply, "I had one, my wife" (and Larry is dating because he is a widower), indicates a greater adherence to this tenet than a reply of "I had 20 before I married, and 15 more after my wife passed." Asking this question allows Larla to consider how Larry has applied this tenet to his life.

I think you are confused about who the number of partners is material to. However, your post is poorly written it is hard to tell. In a religion that believes that sex outside of marriage is a sin, each act of having sex in this way is a sin. And more sin would be worse than less sin.

Each of these religions also has a process for repentance that wipes away all sin, whatever its magnitude was in the first place. So while Larla may find Larry’s number of interest, it’s not because of her religious beliefs.

Repentance is between Larry and God. Larla has a right to assess her mate for compatibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is such a bizarre claim. I can't think of a faith-based conviction about this that I have ever heard expressed in terms that make it sound like number of partners would be material. None of the faiths with this conviction have a rider clause for "if you only did it with one person it doesn't count" or w/ev it is you are picturing.

Many Christian religions teach that sex outside of marriage is a sin. Starting there, a person who believes this tenet would care how many partners a potential mate has had since it indicates the potential mate's adherence to this tenet.

For example, Larla is dating Larry. Larry has told Larla that he believes the same principles of faith that Larla does (including the tenet that sex outside of marriage is a sin.) Larla asks Larry how many partners he has had. His reply, "I had one, my wife" (and Larry is dating because he is a widower), indicates a greater adherence to this tenet than a reply of "I had 20 before I married, and 15 more after my wife passed." Asking this question allows Larla to consider how Larry has applied this tenet to his life.

I think you are confused about who the number of partners is material to. However, your post is poorly written it is hard to tell. In a religion that believes that sex outside of marriage is a sin, each act of having sex in this way is a sin. And more sin would be worse than less sin.

Each of these religions also has a process for repentance that wipes away all sin, whatever its magnitude was in the first place. So while Larla may find Larry’s number of interest, it’s not because of her religious beliefs.

Repentance is between Larry and God. Larla has a right to assess her mate for compatibility.

If Larry murdered someone and repented, does that mean Larla’s religious convictions require her to pretend she doesn’t care?

[Anonymous]

Repentance is between Larry and God. Larla has a right to assess her mate for compatibility.

If Larry murdered someone and repented, does that mean Larla’s religious convictions require her to pretend she doesn’t care?

Are you asking if Larry repented for his sins, do Larla's convictions require her to find him compatible as a mate?

She can find him incompatible (as a murderer) and still believe that it is for God to forgive his sins.

Do you understand how Christianity works and what the forgiveness of sins means?

[Anonymous]

I have dated women with both high and low counts. Never asked but reasoned it out through bits and pieces in conversations. It made no difference to me, I care about what goes on in the bedroom between my partner and me, not anyone else. My wife (I'm her 2nd husband) had a wild phase after her divorce (we were friends for a year before getting together). It has not been discussed since and I rarely if ever think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have dated women with both high and low counts. Never asked but reasoned it out through bits and pieces in conversations. It made no difference to me, I care about what goes on in the bedroom between my partner and me, not anyone else. My wife (I'm her 2nd husband) had a wild phase after her divorce (we were friends for a year before getting together). It has not been discussed since and I rarely if ever think about it.

It really depends on a situation. If a man or a woman had long term marriage then it’s totally reasonable to have a period of sexual awakening after. But if they are sleeping with a new partner every few months and never lived with anyone long term that would be a deal breaker to me. It’s not a mono partner. I’m a serial monogamist, like most women, and want to be with someone similar
I would think a couple dozens of partners is fine for sexually actively adults. Everyone has their own views at sexuality and what’s acceptable to them

[Anonymous]

Repentance is between Larry and God. Larla has a right to assess her mate for compatibility.

+1. Thank God someone gets it.

[Anonymous]

We never discussed exact numbers, but can generally guess. DH is a relationship guy so his number is around 5. I love sex and was interested in flings in college and the first year out of college. My number is at 15. DH never cared. Even if my number was 1, I find people who judge others for what they do with their body so strange. You want someone with a low number? Cool. No need to judge or make assumptions on someone with a higher number

[Anonymous]

I, 49 (F) divorced, at the low, low number of 12. 8 of those have been in the past 7 years. Seems pretty reasonable to me. I don't ask but I ballpark that most of my partners are in the 30-50 range and it doesn't matter to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I, 49 (F) divorced, at the low, low number of 12. 8 of those have been in the past 7 years. Seems pretty reasonable to me. I don't ask but I ballpark that most of my partners are in the 30-50 range and it doesn't matter to me.

I must be the person who brings the average way down. A fling in HS, two long term college girlfriends, three serious girlfriends after college, and my wife. Then divorced late 40s and two relationships in the last five years with a dry spell in between. That's a total of nine. But I've turned down people that could have hiked the number because I was not attracted to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I, 49 (F) divorced, at the low, low number of 12. 8 of those have been in the past 7 years. Seems pretty reasonable to me. I don't ask but I ballpark that most of my partners are in the 30-50 range and it doesn't matter to me.

I must be the person who brings the average way down. A fling in HS, two long term college girlfriends, three serious girlfriends after college, and my wife. Then divorced late 40s and two relationships in the last five years with a dry spell in between. That's a total of nine. But I've turned down people that could have hiked the number because I was not attracted to them.

Yes, I’m a woman but also date very selectively. I turn down if 1) I won’t see a LT potential but there is chemistry or 2) there is a potential but no chemistry

[Anonymous]

Folks there is nothing good about a high body count. We need to stop normalizing sinful behavior. Having sex with anyone other than your spouse is a sin. Please repent. There is a day of judgment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Folks there is nothing good about a high body count. We need to stop normalizing sinful behavior. Having sex with anyone other than your spouse is a sin. Please repent. There is a day of judgment.

Does it scale with count, though? Linearly? Exponentially? Is there a ceiling on it mattering after which you should just enjoy yourself?

[Anonymous]

Does it scale with count, though? Linearly? Exponentially? Is there a ceiling on it mattering after which you should just enjoy yourself?

Do you think it should matter? I think the ceiling is found when a choice hurts you, such as when you are passing on loving someone to enjoy causal relationships.

Should a man who built soup kitchens and fed thousands be forgiven for killing someone in a bar fight? Should a doctor who has healed hundreds be forgiven when she has had multiple affairs?

I believe Christ's message on earth was one of empathic awareness: His followers should help feed those without food and help heal the sick. In other words, to treat the pain in others as your own pain.

It is better to focus on my sins and not worry about how He treats anyone else, which is much easier to say than to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Folks there is nothing good about a high body count. We need to stop normalizing sinful behavior. Having sex with anyone other than your spouse is a sin. Please repent. There is a day of judgment.

The “sin” (or rather tragedy) is treating yourself and others as “objects” instead of as the amazing embodied spirits we are. Let’s talk about lovers not “body count.” There is no sin in connecting and experiencing pleasure with others. Xoxo