Sexually Active Son

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes to condoms.

But selection matters here, for safer-sex. Spermicidal-coated, lubricated condoms are best for PIV, but that alone is not enough. OP you need to talk to him about using condoms for oral, for his own protection as well as the girl’s.

Non-lubricated condoms are needed here; the flavored ones are mostly designed for this sort of protection.

You need to buy both kinds.

You can, but most teens are not going to practice oral sex with a condom on.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29174873/

Our study suggests that oral sex with an opposite-sex partner is a normative behavior for AYAs; however, condom use during this sexual activity is uncommon. Interactive workshops and physician-patient discussions focused on the health risk risks associated with oral sex, as well as appropriate methods of protection, may help to increase condom uptake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take a picture of each girl he brings home and create a wall of shame just outside his bedroom.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes to condoms.

But selection matters here, for safer-sex. Spermicidal-coated, lubricated condoms are best for PIV, but that alone is not enough. OP you need to talk to him about using condoms for oral, for his own protection as well as the girl’s.

Non-lubricated condoms are needed here; the flavored ones are mostly designed for this sort of protection.

You need to buy both kinds.

You can, but most teens are not going to practice oral sex with a condom on.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29174873/

Our study suggests that oral sex with an opposite-sex partner is a normative behavior for AYAs; however, condom use during this sexual activity is uncommon. Interactive workshops and physician-patient discussions focused on the health risk risks associated with oral sex, as well as appropriate methods of protection, may help to increase condom uptake.

Thanks for posting that, PP. it’s solid science behind the survey but it makes me sad that today’s generation is not taking safer-sex seriously.

Maybe revisions need to be made to Fairfax’s family-life education curriculum to reinforce condom / dental-dam use during oral practices?

[Anonymous]

New rule. No friends over unless you are home, no closed doors.

You need to also have a very serious talk about sex, STDs, birth control and consent as well as respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This can’t be real. Who is opening the door and letting them in? Where are you when this is happening? Bound and gagged to the dining room chair? Parent up if this is real and manage your house. Your house, your child, your rules.

See I am working from 8 AM to 5PM-8Pm, I have spent a lot of time with my son in his early years, and I would like to think I did a good job. He has a 4.2 GPA, he works very hard in school and plays 3 sports. He never wanted me to interfere with his relationships with friends or in this case, girlfriends, because he said he needed these people in his life and it helps him excel in life, and I never questioned it. I do not want to intrude now, and that is why I am asking for help on how to tell him.

I’m sorry, but your son is a LIAR. Of course he doesn’t want you interfering in his using hoards of girls like toilet paper, use them up and toss them away. His bad behavior does NOT help him excel in life, unless he aspires to be a professional cheater.
Is he driving these girls to your house? In YOUR car? You need to be checking his cell phone for porn. Your boy thinks he’s in charge because you’re treating him more like your responsible house mate instead of a child who has developed some very bad ethics. Is he a junior or senior?

[Anonymous]

Why is everyone giving advice to OP about condoms and what type prevent pregnancy and STDs? He’s a father. Presumably he knows all of this already. What he needs is advice on how to talk to his son, not about the condoms but about having sex with a different girl each time.

[Anonymous]

I would be horrified if my daughter got f’ed by such a sleazy boy. I wouldn’t care about his grades or sports. Most parents want kids to respect each other.
Who knows if they’re vaping and getting drunk along with the screwing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have different girls coming in and out of my house every day, and I am genuinely concerned for my son. He is telling me that they are just hanging out, but I can hear what is going on. I want my son to be able to be comfortable talking to the opposite sex, but not like this. I do not know what to tell him or how to approach this.

I blame his parents.

[Anonymous]

You need to hire a housekeeper who is there when he comes home from school. She is in the house cleaning and going from room to room until you come home.

I just talked to a family who's son was doing this. The parents didn't say anything about for the year that it was going on. But it was just one girl and she never bothered to say anything but "Hi!" to the parents. As far as I understood, it was a purely sexual relationship, those kids never saw each other except for sex. They met the mom once and they said she seemed totally checked out.
To me, both sets of parents seem checked out. At the very least get to know the girlfriend or boyfriend. That usually sets a tone of respect. My son, who never pays attention to me, was very attentive to my reactions when his first girlfriend sat with us for dinner a few times. (They never had a chance sex, he dropped her after a few months when she began to psychoanalyze everything he uttered.)

[Anonymous]

Actually, he might be gay? The few kids I knew who were sexually active early on turned out to be gay later on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to hire a housekeeper who is there when he comes home from school. She is in the house cleaning and going from room to room until you come home.

I just talked to a family who's son was doing this. The parents didn't say anything about for the year that it was going on. But it was just one girl and she never bothered to say anything but "Hi!" to the parents. As far as I understood, it was a purely sexual relationship, those kids never saw each other except for sex. They met the mom once and they said she seemed totally checked out.
To me, both sets of parents seem checked out. At the very least get to know the girlfriend or boyfriend. That usually sets a tone of respect. My son, who never pays attention to me, was very attentive to my reactions when his first girlfriend sat with us for dinner a few times. (They never had a chance sex, he dropped her after a few months when she began to psychoanalyze everything he uttered.)

The cleaning lady is a great idea.

[Anonymous]

I frankly do not understand most of advice given here. Are you all against 17 year olds having sex in the safety of their own home behind closed doors?

I get the different girl every time concern. I would discuss
1. Always using protection
2. Being very clear on age and consent
3. Gently and without judgment - about motivation behind all that - is it really high sex drive and girls lining up OR some tic-toc challenge or showing off to friends and him actively pursuing multiple girls just for the kicks? I would ask about whether he keeps the encounters confidential and whether there are any concerns about reputation. Finally, I would ask if he considered having sex as part of a relationship to have that experience and to have a consistent partner. I would really withhold judgment and just chat first.

[Anonymous]

This is pretty disgusting; clearly he views girls as just a sperm receptacle. If he's doing this at 17, what is he going to be doing at 25? Or later? Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This can’t be real. Who is opening the door and letting them in? Where are you when this is happening? Bound and gagged to the dining room chair? Parent up if this is real and manage your house. Your house, your child, your rules.

See I am working from 8 AM to 5PM-8Pm, I have spent a lot of time with my son in his early years, and I would like to think I did a good job. He has a 4.2 GPA, he works very hard in school and plays 3 sports. He never wanted me to interfere with his relationships with friends or in this case, girlfriends, because he said he needed these people in his life and it helps him excel in life, and I never questioned it. I do not want to intrude now, and that is why I am asking for help on how to tell him.

I’m sorry, but your son is a LIAR. Of course he doesn’t want you interfering in his using hoards of girls like toilet paper, use them up and toss them away. His bad behavior does NOT help him excel in life, unless he aspires to be a professional cheater.
Is he driving these girls to your house? In YOUR car? You need to be checking his cell phone for porn. Your boy thinks he’s in charge because you’re treating him more like your responsible house mate instead of a child who has developed some very bad ethics. Is he a junior or senior?

You sound like an unhinged misandrist and complete nut-job. Please seek the mental health hep you obviously need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to hire a housekeeper who is there when he comes home from school. She is in the house cleaning and going from room to room until you come home.

I just talked to a family who's son was doing this. The parents didn't say anything about for the year that it was going on. But it was just one girl and she never bothered to say anything but "Hi!" to the parents. As far as I understood, it was a purely sexual relationship, those kids never saw each other except for sex. They met the mom once and they said she seemed totally checked out.
To me, both sets of parents seem checked out. At the very least get to know the girlfriend or boyfriend. That usually sets a tone of respect. My son, who never pays attention to me, was very attentive to my reactions when his first girlfriend sat with us for dinner a few times. (They never had a chance sex, he dropped her after a few months when she began to psychoanalyze everything he uttered.)

This is simply how teens date in 2024.

It’s all arranged on social media. They get together, do it, and move on.

Surprised how checked-out many of you are to the reality of being a social-media-connected teen in 2024.

Get a clue, people! This is not the 1970s.