Spending Mother's Day with MIL- WWYD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got roped into co-hosting a baby shower with my MIL for her niece- the day before Mother's Day- at my house. 50 people, mostly family coming in from out of town. She originally asked me to have the party on Mother's Day, but I gave a hard "no" because I want to enjoy Mother's Day relaxing. I told this to DH as well. So Mother's Day weekend, I will spend all day Friday and Saturday with MIL and her family for party set up, the party itself, and cleanup at my house.

In spite of me saying I wanted to relax on Mother's Day, MIL has all the sudden invited everyone for lunch for Sunday Mother's Day. (Me/DH/my kids; 15 of her family members; plus my parents). Basically just a smaller version of the shower I didn't want to throw on Mother's Day. With the commute & lunch, it will be 5 hours out of the day to go to this lunch. So it will not be quick.

DH wants to spend mother's day with his mom/grandma/aunts. I feel stuck because either 1) I go to this lunch for day 3 in a row with his family for 5 hours and be miserable or 2) I stay home alone with no kids or husband and everyone thinking I'm a jerk.

What would you do?

Your DH is the AH. He can go because even though you are the mother of his children, you aren't his mother. So you and your children spend a quiet day together.

As for the shower, hire a caterer who comes in on Saturday, sets up, serves, and cleans up afterwards. Hire someone to come and clean your house on Friday before shower. The lesson I hope you have learned from this is how to say "NO!" and mean it as well as setting up concrete boundaries with your MIL.

[Anonymous]

I’d love to have the day to myself on Mother’s Day! Alternatively, I’d plan a fun day for my mom and I (spa, brunch or high tea, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Sunday to myself with no husband or kids sounds amazing. You have a great reason to as well, after the hard work of hosting a big event. To be fair to your husband he is entitled to want to spend Mother’s Day celebrating with his mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sunday to myself with no husband or kids sounds amazing. You have a great reason to as well, after the hard work of hosting a big event. To be fair to your husband he is entitled to want to spend Mother’s Day celebrating with his mom.

+1 to this. And his grandma. Mine is long gone and my mom is getting on in years too and I’d happily ditch my dh/kids/celebration of me to go celebrate her on Mother’s Day (yes I realize it’s different when it’s MIL and I’d be annoyed by that too)

But a day at home sounds great and totally easy to pull off with “I’m so tired from party and need to get house back in order before week”. Your kids can make you breakfast or whatever they do and then you can spend the day doing whatever you want instead of your usual weekend parenting routine

[Anonymous]

My traditional Mother’s Day is to have breakfast with a Family and then DH takes them out and I am solo for the day.

[Anonymous]

Just move your solo Mother’s Day to another weekend. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My traditional Mother’s Day is to have breakfast with a Family and then DH takes them out and I am solo for the day.

This is what we do as well. Breakfast in bed (kids used to insist) for me then DH takes kids to lunch/mall/park/movie/lunch.

[Anonymous]

I think if you’re this upset about having to move your relaxing Mother’s Day to a different weekend, that’s a sign that you’re really not okay with how much solo time you’re getting or giving yourself overall.

Mother’s Day is nice but it shouldn’t be such a big deal. That’s a sign something is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Just find another weekend to totally relax and celebrate Mothers Day the way you want. Mothers Day is a silly Hallmark holiday away.

[Anonymous]

Mother’s Day is a completely made up holiday, with crowded lunches and lots of drama from people like you who make such a big deal.

People are coming in from out of towns, I’m sure some of them are mothers too. Spend as much time as possible with people you don’t see that often, it’s family. You can relax next weekend, have your husband spoil you for being such a trooper on Mother’s Day. Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would it be so bad to spend Sunday by yourself while your husband and kids go? That sounds kind of nice to me actually.

+1 I’d get my a mani/pedi, meet friends for lunch and wander through stores, go on a short hike and love the day.

[Anonymous]

Let everyone think you are a jerk. Stay home by yourself and relax.

[Anonymous]

I love my "me" time. And I don't love DHs family. But holidays like this are about family time. Teach your kids that. As much as I would love to always get to pick exactly what I want on that day, I'm not the center of the universe, and have to compromise sometimes.

Go to the family event and let DH you'd like to celebrate being a mom next weekend by _____ (having next Sunday off, going to brunch together, taking the kids for a hike.....)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before your MIL invited your mom, what were you planning on doing with her?

We were just going to drop her off at the airport on Monday morning. She can take care of herself.

Ah, so the world does have to revolve around you.

[Anonymous]

I think you are mad at yourself for agreeing to host the shower. Now, you are upset you are INVITED to another lunch (hello, free food) and mad at your DH for wanting to go. Just stop. Stay home or go, no one at the party will care. You are over the top on the Mother’s Day drama.