Overcoming transphobia

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that's transphobic, OP. You have practical and important questions that impact a person for the rest of their life.

I believe that being trans is real. I believe trans persons have a right to live safely, with confidence, and peace. I certainly believe in adults doing and living however they want. But teens + parents + doctors + therapists need to be in this together, to figure out a long term, lifelong plan for a child struggling with gender identity. It just needs to be thought about in depth and not rushed - though yes, I understand the implications of interfering in/before puberty.

But it’s arrogant to think that these families haven’t thought about these questions already or that need you to have an opinion about it. You don’t have some special insight into their lives.

Parents make millions of health decisions about their kids each year. Why fixate on this particular one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start from the assumption that most people know themselves best. It’s fine to consider someone’s desire for surgery or other physically altering drugs like hormones beyond your comprehension — you don’t have to “get” what trans people want in order to support their right to do it, just like straight people don’t have to “get” same sex attraction to support gay and lesbian people. Now extend that consideration for other people’s self-knowledge and consider that parents who are allowing their children to take hormones or puberty blockers or research surgery are doing it because they’ve spent significant time understanding who their kids are and what the least painful course they can see is. Understand that maintaining the status quo is actively painful for a trans person. In short, OP, stop assuming you know other people and other people’s children better than they know themselves.

Not OP here but I know some of the parents in this situation and they are in agony. They don’t know what’s best. They’re being told by some that if they don’t support medical transition (for a 14 year old!) their child will die by suicide. They’re being told by others that this is a permanent decision with either likely or certain loss of bodily functionality and lifelong dependence on pharmaceuticals. They have zero good choices. My heart breaks for them. There has to be a better way to deal with gender distress in children. There just has to be.

DP. Right, this is why I don’t judge. The only time I felt judgmental was this one family that seemed to really relish and seek media coverage for their very young trans kid. That seemed odd. But I’d never treat their kid any differently. The other families I know seem very stable and normal and I don’t pretend I can judge them at all.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing wrong with your opinion and therefore nothing to overcome. Have backbone in your convictions and if necessary seek out research on both sides of an issue to learn more.