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LGBTQIA+ Issues and Relationship Discussion
Overcoming transphobia
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Anonymous
| Never had an issue with LGB or even Q. It seems I do have an issue with teenagers taking hormones that have irreversible defects, can stunt or limit fertility, and with top and bottom surgery that to be mutilates a healthy body. I don’t consider myself phobic but I know these opinions/attitudes would be labeled that way. I’m not disgusted or outraged or anything and I support people being who they want to be. I just feel like for teens that should be extend to how they dress and prevent themselves and the decision to take medical steps should wait until they are over 18 at least. |
Anonymous
| ^effects |
Anonymous
| Anyway asking here bc I can’t ask IRL. How do I manage not to convey this belief to the trans teens in my life who are medically transitioning? |
Anonymous
Same, OP. I find it very hard to talk openly about this things in my very progressive community (where even lower elementary student are identifying as trans), and where every assumes I feel the same way. But that point of view (that kids shouldn't be making those decisions) it's mainstream in many other countries. I wonder how many of us feel that way, but are afraid to start a conversation. |
Anonymous
|
Once they’re 18 it’s harder to change the body because puberty has occurred. For genuine transgender children that’s a problem.
We are labeling too many kids transgender though because they don’t fit our societal norms. My child has a trans friend and while I don’t totally understand it we just need to be kind. I don’t need to understand it they do. I treat this child with her chosen pronouns and treat her the same way I do my kids other friends. That part isn’t hard |
Anonymous
It’s hard either way regardless. The mind isnt fully developed until approximately 25. That cannot be changed. |
Anonymous
Honestly, the same way you managed to keep your mouth shut about everything else you disagree with, unless you actually live in a bubble where everyone agrees with you. Someone I’m close to has a child who is medically transitioning and I am so worried about them, but I recognize that this isn’t a place where my input would be at all helpful. I very much hope they do not regret it as adults. As someone who went through infertility, the fact that this child is being effectively sterilized just breaks my heart. But hopefully it will be an entirely different experience for them because it will be an idea they are used to by the time they reach child rearing age. |
Anonymous
| I just figure that their parents know best what is the right decision for them, and I act normally. |
Anonymous
How many trans teens under 18 do you know who are taking permanent steps as opposed to socially transitioning or delaying puberty? |
Anonymous
If you support kids socially transitioning, but not medically transitioning, then you actually aren’t judging the child - you’re judging the parent. Which might help you frame the support in your head, as kids want lots of things that adults sometimes think aren’t good for them or have a detrimental effect (pot, vape, etc). But just as you might judge adults who provide vapes or alcohol parties when the kids (in a developmentally appropriate way) ask for them, you wouldn’t do it. if you support social transition, you might use this view for medical transition: not what I would have done. |
Anonymous
I feel the same way. It’s not my business. I just want everyone to have the same opportunity to be happy. |
Anonymous
|
OP I’m not sure what it is you actually want to overcome. Do you actually find fault with your opinion and want it to change, or do you just want to make sure you don’t cause harm to relationships with those around you?
It can be very difficult to navigate. I disagree with some of the ideology being pushed by LGBTQ+. For context I am an L with a non GNC child, and I have many friends in the community. There are some people in the community, including among the Ts, who are able to differentiate between questioning/criticizing parts of the ideology and actual transphobia. Those people tend to be older and have more life experience. Teens and young adults see things differently. I see parallels between this issue and Gaza in the way that there are people who cannot separate questioning/criticizing the State of Israel’s actions and antisemitism. That I question/criticize Israel’s actions in Gaza has nothing to do with hatred towards Jewish people, but to some, it is all the same. I have seen the same thing going on in discourse about transgender issues. The tide may be turning a bit, but for a while, it was pretty much impossible to say or wonder aloud anything that wasn’t 100% affirming and unquestioning and parroting the “approved” lines. |
Anonymous
Two. |
Anonymous
| Start from the assumption that most people know themselves best. It’s fine to consider someone’s desire for surgery or other physically altering drugs like hormones beyond your comprehension — you don’t have to “get” what trans people want in order to support their right to do it, just like straight people don’t have to “get” same sex attraction to support gay and lesbian people. Now extend that consideration for other people’s self-knowledge and consider that parents who are allowing their children to take hormones or puberty blockers or research surgery are doing it because they’ve spent significant time understanding who their kids are and what the least painful course they can see is. Understand that maintaining the status quo is actively painful for a trans person. In short, OP, stop assuming you know other people and other people’s children better than they know themselves. |
Anonymous
| If the alternative is the kid attempting suicide, which in many cases i believe it is, then I could easily swallow misgivings about plastic surgery if it meant not attending that teen’s funeral. |