Yes. Your Kid is overscheduled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I partly blame the culture around here -it’s hard to do any sports in a chill way regardless of age. If your kid wants to swim, they are either only swimming in the summer or they are swimming at least 3 days a week year round. And if you don’t start early enough you are “behind” so everyone wants to let their kids try a couple things out.

My oldest asks to do activities because that’s where her friends are. They aren’t available if she goes and knocks on their door. We allow less than a lot of families (my daughter is really only doing dance and Girl Scouts my son is only doing soccer and we will see if it bites us in the a*s later). It’s a balance

Why not let them do the activities they want to?

OP here.

Kids can want to do all the things, but as parents, we can say no. That's a lesson in itself. You can't do everything that you want all the time, you have to learn to prioritize whether that is for time or budgetary reasons.

NP here. As parents, and even as kids, we can also say "no" to playdates with kids/parents/families we don't particularly like, and often give some type of prior commitment as an excuse. That's a lesson for you and your kids: not everyone wants to socialize with you. If you are hearing "no" a lot, it might not be that everyone has to go to soccer practice.

Thanks for your little PSA. There's mine. Sometimes being "busy" is an excuse, and the reality is, we don't want to hang out with you, and you're not taking the hint. The More You Know...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you "scheduling d*mn play dates"? If your kids are so amazing, aren't they responsible enough to knock on a few doors around the neighborhood and invite people over, or ride their bike to the playground and make new friends there?

Wait, I thought kids were supposed to be bored--but you're social engineering play dates? Which is it?

No one wants your kid knocking on their door inviting themselves in so you get free babysitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids want to do every sport under the sun.

OP says you need to get them to pick one.

Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ops kids are unathletic losers

What a horrible thing to say. Maybe ops kids don't like sports. Op is giving her kids a chance to be kids without being always busy.

OP here.

Wow, you're an @$$. My kids love sports and are very athletic. The big difference is that it is in one sport per season, not 3 like some of their friends.

It’s none of your business if the friends are juggling 3 sports. You parent your kid, we’ll parent ours.

[Anonymous]

Honest suggestion from a happy sports mom - consider a screen free sleep away camp in the summer. Your kid will enjoy the companionship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I partly blame the culture around here -it’s hard to do any sports in a chill way regardless of age. If your kid wants to swim, they are either only swimming in the summer or they are swimming at least 3 days a week year round. And if you don’t start early enough you are “behind” so everyone wants to let their kids try a couple things out.

My oldest asks to do activities because that’s where her friends are. They aren’t available if she goes and knocks on their door. We allow less than a lot of families (my daughter is really only doing dance and Girl Scouts my son is only doing soccer and we will see if it bites us in the a*s later). It’s a balance

Why not let them do the activities they want to?

PP you are responding to and I do let them do some of the activities that they want to do. But they have to pick because I’m not willing to spend all evening every evening driving both kids around and dragging the little guys because he can’t stay home alone. I also see worse behavior when they are too busy. So one of my kids is mildly interested in swimming but I’m not willing to add 3 nights a week or something. But they get to do what they are most excited about.

And they us find for your family. But don’t expect my family to be home all the time because you need a play date.

[Anonymous]

You're really oversimplifying this OP. I'm also a big believer in down time and giving kids an opportunity to de-compress and use their imaginations. Some kids are legitimately overscheduled.

But my kids really love sports and chess and martial arts and art. I spread it out through the year and they have an afternoon or two each week to just play, but otherwise they're pretty darn busy. They have benefited enormously from all the things that go along with learning something--you start as a beginner, gain frustration tolerance as you try to master the skills involved, learn how to cooperate with others in different settings, gain confidence as you master the skills, develop a work ethic as you see what it takes to get good at something, and eventually make decisions about what's important to you and how you want to spend your time. Sometimes a kid needs a push to continue something you know they will enjoy once they are over the hump of the learning process. Not all activities outside of school are some vapid exercise. I'm trying to expose them to things they might love and if they don't, we move on. It's a constant balancing act.

Maybe give other parents some credit for doing what is best for their specific kids.

[Anonymous]

My kid needs an immense amount of physical activity to stay emotionally regulated. Having said that, I would never skip an activity to go to another one, and I would never complain about how busy we are. It's a privilege to be able to provide these experiences for my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I partly blame the culture around here -it’s hard to do any sports in a chill way regardless of age. If your kid wants to swim, they are either only swimming in the summer or they are swimming at least 3 days a week year round. And if you don’t start early enough you are “behind” so everyone wants to let their kids try a couple things out.

My oldest asks to do activities because that’s where her friends are. They aren’t available if she goes and knocks on their door. We allow less than a lot of families (my daughter is really only doing dance and Girl Scouts my son is only doing soccer and we will see if it bites us in the a*s later). It’s a balance

Why not let them do the activities they want to?

I will take my child's desires into account, but I won't let them do any activities that they want. Things like finances and time commitment are taken into consideration first. I also will never overschedule my kids/teens. My kids are welcome to overschedule themselves in high school when they can drive

Wow, you sound selfish.

How am I selfish? I didn't say no sports at all, I just said that there will be reasonable limitations and boundaries.

[Anonymous]

It's sad that overscheduling has become the norm.

[Anonymous]

Sad sad sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ops kids are unathletic losers

What a horrible thing to say. Maybe ops kids don't like sports. Op is giving her kids a chance to be kids without being always busy.

OP here.

Wow, you're an @$$. My kids love sports and are very athletic. The big difference is that it is in one sport per season, not 3 like some of their friends.

The problem we've had with sports is that some kids get good very fast and so it's hard to keep up. And when they are little you don't want them just doing one sport because it pigeonholed them. So a lot of times we do two with one being a background sport for the season.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ops kids are unathletic losers

What a horrible thing to say. Maybe ops kids don't like sports. Op is giving her kids a chance to be kids without being always busy.

OP here.

Wow, you're an @$$. My kids love sports and are very athletic. The big difference is that it is in one sport per season, not 3 like some of their friends.

The problem we've had with sports is that some kids get good very fast and so it's hard to keep up. And when they are little you don't want them just doing one sport because it pigeonholed them. So a lot of times we do two with one being a background sport for the season.

Talk about selfish. Your kid's "background sport" is my kid's main sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ops kids are unathletic losers

What a horrible thing to say. Maybe ops kids don't like sports. Op is giving her kids a chance to be kids without being always busy.

OP here.

Wow, you're an @$$. My kids love sports and are very athletic. The big difference is that it is in one sport per season, not 3 like some of their friends.

The problem we've had with sports is that some kids get good very fast and so it's hard to keep up. And when they are little you don't want them just doing one sport because it pigeonholed them. So a lot of times we do two with one being a background sport for the season.

Talk about selfish. Your kid's "background sport" is my kid's main sport.

Good news he’ll get playing time that week

[Anonymous]

I’m afraid we meet OP’s description. I complain internally about it but to no one else (except on dcum of course). My DCs are in a sport where everyone who is good at it is intense, and if we aren’t intense ourselves, they will not be on par.

Wish it weren’t a rat race, but it is what it is.