Reasons why one would not accept TJ offer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - most of the reasons others have posted here are indeed good reasons to consider saying no. The flip side of saying no is yes though so why might your kiddo want to accept?….

- Many kids do do sports and other time consuming extracurriculars despite the HW load so there is definitely still a lot of typical HS feel (minus being able to walk down the street to your friend’s house to hang out). “We came for the sports” is a tongue in cheek tagline by kids at TJ because it actually is a great spot for less top notch sports kids to get to do a HS sport and have that experience as they are in a slightly less competitive sports district vs the base schools TJ pulls from.

- If your kid is routinely bored and/or frustrated by classes with too many kids that don’t take the class seriously. Yes there is AP for various classes by mid HS time but it’s still a vibe in some spots of just not trying much on class.

Although there might not be the walking to a friend's house to hang out (however, my DD did do that sometimes at TJ because she had a classmate who lived nearby), some TJ kids actually spend more time together than base kids. Anytime there is an early release day, or a practice or event later in the evening, since it's too far to go home and come back, friend groups hang out around town, like at the Block, or the shopping center across the street, or at the school itself. I don't think there would have been as much bonding time at a base school.

[Anonymous]

They lose all their friends at the base school. They aren't educated the same as their siblings, which creates resentment, no shared experiences.

[Anonymous]

The #1 benefit of going to TJ is that you're at a school where literally 100% of the kids care about academics. The other ancillary stuff is great too, but that's the best part about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Posted early…

- finally, beat reason to go is if you think your kid will thrive in a spot where nost all the kids are “school kids”. My kid had some friends in base school but never felt like the base school was a great fit. TJ is instead a school full of their “tribe” and so has been a great fit in ways that out balance the commute, Higher HW load, college placement odds.

As another PP posted, for some kids it is a great spot and really lets them thrive. For others it’s not a great fit or else the base school works just as well (so not worth accepting the trade offs). You have to evaluate which bucket your child falls into.

There is such a benefit to going to a secondary school with kids who are not all in your “tribe,” especially for kids who are likely to inhabit rarefied environments the rest of their lives. You learn how to interact with a broader array of folks, whereas some of the kids at schools like TJ have been groomed so intensely to think of themselves as special that they never develop even passable social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They lose all their friends at the base school. They aren't educated the same as their siblings, which creates resentment, no shared experiences.

I’ve yet to meet a family where one kid to TJ and the other(s) did not where it didn’t seriously mess with the family dynamics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If instate college like UVA is a priority, have your child stay back at base school, take rigorous AP courses and with little extra effort they could get all As and be in the top 10% in the class.

If you dont care about in-state, but prefer TJ education, be ready to accept Bs and Cs, even with long nights. Just accept that there will be other kids with straight As and much more rigorous coursework.

I keep seeing this statement on this board. What does it mean? Does UVA not like TJ students?

[Anonymous]

One kid (so far) got in and declined because their peer group did not have the social skills of their base school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand every middle school will be given a few seats, but last year no one at our middle school accepted the offer. I could be mistaken, as I also heard one kid attended for a year, and returned to base high school. DC took the admissions test this month, and we think there is a good chance we will be made an offer. What I want to understand is why would one not accept a TJ offer? I hear everyone saying how much harder one has to study, but is it significantly more than what a student at base high school enrolled in all honors courses would need to study? How much time would be available to do sports? Trying to figure out if DC would be better off going to our high school with known friends and teammates, or tryout TJ, but definitely want to avoid the hassle of transferring if TJ isnt the right fit.

Yes, TJ basic courses are much harder than honor courses at base school. Even if your child got an A in middle school algebra 1, expect to deal with C starting with the follow on math course at TJ. They teach math at ferrari speed, and give a ton of homework. There are many kids going through this struggle right now even after taking a break from sports and giving up 8th period club block for math tutoring. The tutoring help they offer only helps with a particular homework problem, it's not a lesson based class. If your child cannot keep up with ferrari speed math lessons, dont put them through the TJ nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand every middle school will be given a few seats, but last year no one at our middle school accepted the offer. I could be mistaken, as I also heard one kid attended for a year, and returned to base high school. DC took the admissions test this month, and we think there is a good chance we will be made an offer. What I want to understand is why would one not accept a TJ offer? I hear everyone saying how much harder one has to study, but is it significantly more than what a student at base high school enrolled in all honors courses would need to study? How much time would be available to do sports? Trying to figure out if DC would be better off going to our high school with known friends and teammates, or tryout TJ, but definitely want to avoid the hassle of transferring if TJ isnt the right fit.

Yes, TJ basic courses are much harder than honor courses at base school. Even if your child got an A in middle school algebra 1, expect to deal with C starting with the follow on math course at TJ. They teach math at ferrari speed, and give a ton of homework. There are many kids going through this struggle right now even after taking a break from sports and giving up 8th period club block for math tutoring. The tutoring help they offer only helps with a particular homework problem, it's not a lesson based class. If your child cannot keep up with ferrari speed math lessons, dont put them through the TJ nightmare.

True. The speed and intensity of the courses is ramped up.

[Anonymous]

There are some excellent videos on YouTube by people who were in these "gifted" and excelled programs who can speak very well to the downsides and risks of being one of these kids in these programs and then getting out into the real world.

Read the comments, which are loaded with "gifted" people in their late 20s and 30s writing about how being labeled as gifted with high expectations hurt them. For starters, they feel like they can't make even the simplest mistakes, and when it happens, they completely fall apart. They can't ask for help either, since they are already supposed to know everything about everything since they're "gifted".

It's all downhill from there. Many of them are unemployed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are some excellent videos on YouTube by people who were in these "gifted" and excelled programs who can speak very well to the downsides and risks of being one of these kids in these programs and then getting out into the real world.

Read the comments, which are loaded with "gifted" people in their late 20s and 30s writing about how being labeled as gifted with high expectations hurt them. For starters, they feel like they can't make even the simplest mistakes, and when it happens, they completely fall apart. They can't ask for help either, since they are already supposed to know everything about everything since they're "gifted".

It's all downhill from there. Many of them are unemployed.

I don't this is true for all kids that attend TJ. May be for some, that too I highly doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If instate college like UVA is a priority, have your child stay back at base school, take rigorous AP courses and with little extra effort they could get all As and be in the top 10% in the class.

If you dont care about in-state, but prefer TJ education, be ready to accept Bs and Cs, even with long nights. Just accept that there will be other kids with straight As and much more rigorous coursework.

I keep seeing this statement on this board. What does it mean? Does UVA not like TJ students?

UVA limits admissions to those TJ applicants that are in the top 10 to 25% or so of their class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are some excellent videos on YouTube by people who were in these "gifted" and excelled programs who can speak very well to the downsides and risks of being one of these kids in these programs and then getting out into the real world.

Read the comments, which are loaded with "gifted" people in their late 20s and 30s writing about how being labeled as gifted with high expectations hurt them. For starters, they feel like they can't make even the simplest mistakes, and when it happens, they completely fall apart. They can't ask for help either, since they are already supposed to know everything about everything since they're "gifted".

It's all downhill from there. Many of them are unemployed.

You're saying that being labeled gifted causes these problems including lack of social skills, paralyzation because afraid to try, and under/unemployment. But you've got it backwards, actually those things are issues that go along with being gifted. Going to a school with other gifted kids at least means that they can have friends and peers for a while.

I understand why you think the label causes the problems, that is the common wisdom of today and many people have persuaded themselves that it's true and repeat it about themselves and others. If you think about it, though, especially if you know or are one of these people, you'll see it's the other way around. The label just gives a name to something that is a trait that sometimes helps and sometimes hinders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posted early…

- finally, beat reason to go is if you think your kid will thrive in a spot where nost all the kids are “school kids”. My kid had some friends in base school but never felt like the base school was a great fit. TJ is instead a school full of their “tribe” and so has been a great fit in ways that out balance the commute, Higher HW load, college placement odds.

As another PP posted, for some kids it is a great spot and really lets them thrive. For others it’s not a great fit or else the base school works just as well (so not worth accepting the trade offs). You have to evaluate which bucket your child falls into.

There is such a benefit to going to a secondary school with kids who are not all in your “tribe,” especially for kids who are likely to inhabit rarefied environments the rest of their lives. You learn how to interact with a broader array of folks, whereas some of the kids at schools like TJ have been groomed so intensely to think of themselves as special that they never develop even passable social skills.

I’m PP you replied to. DC is a shy socially anxious kid. At the base school I doubt they would have had the confidence to step into some of the opportunities they’ve had at TJ. Yes learning how to interact with others is important but HS is not the only time for that and building confidence in the teen years by feeling more self confident due to the environment is a really important thing.

It’s not about feeling “better” than others. For my DC2 I don’t think TJ will be a great fit but I think the base school will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posted early…

- finally, beat reason to go is if you think your kid will thrive in a spot where nost all the kids are “school kids”. My kid had some friends in base school but never felt like the base school was a great fit. TJ is instead a school full of their “tribe” and so has been a great fit in ways that out balance the commute, Higher HW load, college placement odds.

As another PP posted, for some kids it is a great spot and really lets them thrive. For others it’s not a great fit or else the base school works just as well (so not worth accepting the trade offs). You have to evaluate which bucket your child falls into.

There is such a benefit to going to a secondary school with kids who are not all in your “tribe,” especially for kids who are likely to inhabit rarefied environments the rest of their lives. You learn how to interact with a broader array of folks, whereas some of the kids at schools like TJ have been groomed so intensely to think of themselves as special that they never develop even passable social skills.

For my white, middle America kid TJ was eye opening regarding having to deal with a broader array of folks. They are so much better prepared to interact with people who aren't like them than my other kid who went to our base school. Sure there was some diversity at the base, but nothing like TJ again for my white kids.