If this is the way the public education system works, I am already in despair about my choices.

[Anonymous]

My child is 3.5 and currently enrolled in a charter school for PS3. He has attention, sensory and impulse control issues (like a lot of 3yo's I know) and we are working with him on it. His teacher has been good, too. But I feel like we made a mistake by letting him be evaluated by the school psychologist and now I am questioning their assumptions about what social and academic expectations are age/developmentally appropriate as well as their opinion about how he measures up. He was given age inappropriate tests (approved for 4 years and up, he was 3.5 when they tested him) and after talking with the teacher about our concerns with these tests/reports, I am more lost than ever.

She claims that some 3yos come into the classroom able to write their full name and read sight words, and that all of her kids are expected to be able to do this by the end of the year. So tell me, DCUM, does this ring true? If so, how does this happen? I know I did not write or sight read at age 3 or 4; neither did my husband according to his mother. We are both well-educated and employed professionals, so it's not like we lost out. If you have a kid in DC's public or public charter PS3 do you agree with their academic expectations?

I am not the kind of parent who wants to nor do I philsophically believe it is appropriate to drill my kid on the alphabet, do flashcards, ask him to practice writing letters, etc etc etc, especially in the few hours I get with him every evening. HE'S 3. I want him to play and explore and get dirty and ask questions and use his imagination. All of this has me feeling that he is too young for a formal academic setting, that I've made an enormous mistake by putting him in this situation, and that this country's focus on testing and standards is wrong and damaging to our kids. I feel like my son knows that his behavior is a problem (and we agree, and we are working on it) and that he is not living up to expectations. I know this is damaging his self-esteem. And my heart is breaking because I have serious doubts that he is being measured against a fair and appropriate standard, so I feel like I am just setting him up to fail. I am wracked with guilt today.

All this said, what are my alternatives? His daycare was wonderful but they did not have the resources or training to help address the sensory and impulse issues. I can't afford to quit my job and even if I did, I'm not kidding myself that I have the ability to teach him everything he needs to know myself. So, is this what it's going to be like dealing with the public education system for the next 14-15 years? If so, I will need anxiety meds and Xanax to get myself through. Or I will have to find a way to pay for a private education with which I philosophically agree.

[Anonymous]

What plan did they suggest after the eval?

[Anonymous]

This is why I hate the whole labeling thing. Your kid is only 3 and has a lot of maturing to do. I do think, though, that teachers can highlight things to us that we aren't aware of because they see so many kids. But all that testing seems way out of line to me. All he needs to work on at his age is his self-esteem and learning to get on in a group and follow some directions.

My DS is 5 and was not able to write his full name or read sight words at the age of 3 or 4. He's doing fine now.

[Anonymous]

Apart from privates, I think your alternative is to find a public school that aligns with your philosophy - try a montessori or reggio school. I would also suggest looking at Inspired Teaching as I understand they are not so focused on testing, etc.

[Anonymous]

Holy cow. I have known 3 y.o.s who could sight read, but I don't think this is/should be expected--just like you, I know lots of successful adults who didn't read until they were 5 or 6.

What you're describing from the school is nothing like my son's experience in PS3 at a Title I DCPS or PK4 in an immersion charter. It happens that he was an early reader, and he got praise and appropriate instruction, but his classmates were NEVER pushed to read themselves. Now that he's in K, the expectation is that all the kids will be able to read and write some by the end of the year.

You can find a much better school for your child. (And for what it's worth, I know several kids with sensory issues who are thriving at Barnard DCPS in Petworth.)

[Anonymous]

We haven't gotten an IEP to review yet. They are recommending that he work with the OT (we totally agree and are 100% comfortable with this) and the school counselor (somewhat agree but am more hesitant if they are basing services on this completely asinine psychologist's report). I plan to rake that IEP with a fine-toothed comb and be all up in their business about what they are doing. They said we'd get a report quarterly and I was like, um, no. That's not good enough for me. I want regular updates/contact and I want to know EXACTLY what they are doing with my kid.

That said, none of this alleviates my concern that the academic expectations they are measuring him against are not developmentally appropriate. Does he have trouble "staying on task" because of his impulsivity and sensory issues? Yes. Does that mean he is "below average" cognitively? No. I know my child is very smart, inquisitive and when he is interested and motivated by the situation and the subject, learns quickly and easily. I feel like they have some mythically perfect 3yo in mind against whom they are measuring my child. As if wide variations in ability at this age is not 100% normal.

So I basically think the tests that they gave him are not valid, nor are they appropriate. I am angry b/c they never mentioned that conducting a neuropsychological evaluation is not typical at this age. We are first time parents, new to this whole world of "SN" and "SPED," and in my view it is professional negligence on the part of the psychologist and the special ed coordinator not to have fully explained what methods and evaluations are standard and appropriate. Instead, they just rattled some stuff off like it was standard and we stupidly trusted that they know what they are doing. I no longer trust them, bottom line.

A friend who is a school counselor was appalled that they administered the Young Children's Achievement Test at his age - based on her training, having done so is both unprofessional and developmentally inappropriate since the test is not approved for children under 4. So I am angry and appalled that they are attempting to put any definition on my child's cognitive ability as a result.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holy cow. I have known 3 y.o.s who could sight read, but I don't think this is/should be expected--just like you, I know lots of successful adults who didn't read until they were 5 or 6.

What you're describing from the school is nothing like my son's experience in PS3 at a Title I DCPS or PK4 in an immersion charter. It happens that he was an early reader, and he got praise and appropriate instruction, but his classmates were NEVER pushed to read themselves. Now that he's in K, the expectation is that all the kids will be able to read and write some by the end of the year.

You can find a much better school for your child. (And for what it's worth, I know several kids with sensory issues who are thriving at Barnard DCPS in Petworth.)

Thanks. I desperately wanted to be in Barnard. We applied and were waaaaay down the wait list. Could I call them to see if a spot is open mid-year? Do you think that is even possible or would they be pulling from the wait list at this point? Come to think of it I know some parents there and wonder if they would be willing to pull some strings. We are close to the school but still OOB.

[Anonymous]

Your child should be evaluated by OSSE's Early Stages, not in-house. Charter kids are eligible, it's free, and theydo a great evaluation. It really sounds like your charter's in-school evaluators are incompetent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child should be evaluated by OSSE's Early Stages, not in-house. Charter kids are eligible, it's free, and theydo a great evaluation. It really sounds like your charter's in-school evaluators are incompetent.

Well, at this point, I wouldn't trust OSSE's resources either. We plan to move out of DC (and the entire DMV area, thank God) before DS starts kindergarten, and it cannot happen fast enough for me. I am on the wait list for a development ped at Children's, and other than that I am not approving ANY more evaluations by anyone at this point. My kid has been subjected to enough already, and I don't want to hear any more negative bullshit about him from anyone. I've heard very little about the many, many positives about my son, and I'm tired of it. No wonder he acts out. 3yos are not perfect all the time, don't always listen, don't always follow the rules, etc etc. My kid is a kid, not an automaton. I am reacting at this point not only to these particular evaluators but to our entire educational culture of testing, standards, evaluations. I am finding it utterly and wholly inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Re Barnard: the last time I talked to the principal about pulling strings to get someone in, she was adamant that she had to follow DCPS waitlist rules, and couldn't make exceptions even for folks who lived within sight of the school but were OOB. (She was sad she couldn't help an awesome family, but I do admire her ethics.)

Depending on your child's needs, it's possible that you could get a special ed placement there. I'd do Early Stages and see if they might help.

[Anonymous]

Early Stages booster here. I do see your point about wanting nothing to do with evaluations, and my heart goes out to you. For what it's worth, my then 4 y.o. enjoyed his evaluation at Early Stages. I was in the room for 90% of it (and observed the portions I wasn't there for), and the evaluators seemed to really like being with kids, and were meeting him on his level.

[Anonymous]

At the risk of prying, would you be willing to share the school your son attends? We're in the lottery for next year, and our son sounds a lot like yours. I'm already nervous about how he'll be treated, and would like to avoid having him singled our or labeled before it's developmentally appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Your school's clinical psychologist and/or social worker and or schoo psychologist is there to support your child's emotional and/or cognitive needs. Plenty of 3 year olds without cognitive issues have emotional issues that interfere with their ability to learn. In that case, they wouldn't need an IEP - and working with a mental health professional at the school or on the outside would likely help your child succeed. That's not labeling, that's helping remove barriers to learning.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely, positively a 3 y.o. child should not be expected to write their names and read. Sure, some do, but the others are there at school at age three to learn how to do it!

I have to honestly say that the psychologists, special ed., etc. people at the schools I've worked at scared me -- so incompetent with so much at stake for these kids. You are right to question EVERYTHING they say and to worry about labeling. There are, of course, wonderful ones as well, but parents should always, always question. Don't be intimidated by any authority at school.

I do love Montessori and other alternatives as PP suggested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your school's clinical psychologist and/or social worker and or schoo psychologist is there to support your child's emotional and/or cognitive needs. Plenty of 3 year olds without cognitive issues have emotional issues that interfere with their ability to learn. In that case, they wouldn't need an IEP - and working with a mental health professional at the school or on the outside would likely help your child succeed. That's not labeling, that's helping remove barriers to learning.

Well, they have basically rigged this entire process to justify putting an IEP in place. I was also appalled at the meeting we had to discuss the evaluations and whether he qualified for services when this charlatan of a psychologist basically came up with some reason out of thin air to justify it. I am all about "removing barriers to learning." What I am NOT about is using developmentally inappropriate tests to label my child as "below average" cognitive ability, when that is just completely asinine horseshit and everyone including his teacher knows it.