Delivery Room Drama
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Anonymous
My mother steps on DH's every nerve. It is very important to her to be in the delivery room when DS is born, and she wants to make travel arrangements to come from the West Coast. I'm due in February by planned c/s, so she wants to get plane tickets now. DH is not happy at all, and wants me to prevent her from coming until after the birth. To be fair to DH, my mother is... what's the polite word?... "high maintenance." She demands a lot of attention without regard for other people's needs. Of course, I still love her, and I have more practice at ignoring her antics than DH does. I do not feel strongly about having her in the delivery room, but I am in the middle of things, as both DH and my mother feel very strongly. 
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Anonymous
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Sorry, OP.
I suggest you "blame" the hospital. The reality is that most hospitals only allow the father in the room for a C-section. If for whatever reason your hospital does allow other family members into the room, well, your mom doesn't need to know that now, does she? 
Just tell her, "Sorry, Mom! Hospital rules! You can see the baby after." |
Anonymous
IMHO, tell your mother to wait until after the delivery to come in accordance with your DH's wishes. He should be your highest priority, not your mom. You don't need to be in the middle of anything. Just tell your mom how it is and don't put your DH in the awkward posi  ion of having to tell your mom not to come. Having a baby is a very happy but stressful time. If your mom is upset, too bad, so sad. She'll just have to deal with seeing you and baby a week later. This isn't about your mom.
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Anonymous
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Didn't mean to put an emoticon in there!
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Anonymous
| Your DH wins out here. Agree with PP that the hospital probably won't let your M in the room anyway. Give yourselves one day to be a family together and have her come the day after. |
Anonymous
They aren't going to let her in the delivery room for a c-section. It's one support person only, so unless she is pushing your DH out, that will be able to be blamed on the hospital. 
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Anonymous
| Agree that you aren't really in the middle of things here. Your DH and your child/children are your primary family now. That doesn't mean excluding other family but it does mean they sometimes have to wait. |
Anonymous
This for sure. Only one person. |
Anonymous
+1 DH trumps Mom. Sorry, Mom. |
Anonymous
| OP, I'm sorry, but you should stand up to your mother. This is your and your DH's time, she doesn't need to be there. |
Anonymous
| I vote for DH too. |
Anonymous
| The last thing you will be needing is stress. You will be healing from serious surgery and stress impedes the healing process. If you do not need your mother's help, tell her the date to come is a week after the C-section or a week after you get home from the hospital. If she starts carrying on, tell her "I'm sorry you're upset, but I just want to work on being a family of 3 and bonding for a few days before anyone, even grandparents, come to visit. We'll look forward to seeing you on February 23rd. Please let us know by the 20th if you'll want to be picked up at the airport or get your own ride." |
Anonymous
| OP sorry but I would just tell your mom that only you and DH are in the room. I have a difficult MIL and i would be furious with my DH if he put his mother before me. Don't do that to your DH please. DH is right in this situation. Just b/c you have learned to deal with your mother's high maintanence behavior does not mean others have to. I say this bc i have a VERY difficult MIL and if my DH put her first, I would FREAK OUT. |
Anonymous
Yes, it's one person. Doesn't have to be DH (I had my sister as DH was queasy just thinking about it) but if it's your mom she'd be kicking him out. |
Anonymous
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From bloodline stand point -
DH has 1/2 grand mom has 1/4 so DH won Ask your mom to come 2-3 weeks after delivery |