Is it nuts to move to adoption with frozen embryos?
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Anonymous
| After another failed cycle, DH and I are at the end of our emotional ropes and thinking to stop the TTC madness. We have one DC from IVF and are so thankful for that. We know we want 2 and are thinking to look into adopting. Only thing is that we have frozen embryos. I feel like maybe these aren't too hot since we have used the best 4 already for a fresh and a frozen cycle (one failed and one m/c) and that its smart to save our emotional heartache and money for adoption, but it feels odd to leave these potential children without giving it a chance too. Anyone out there make that decision and care to share? |
Anonymous
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Not at all crazy to me!
Good luck. Wishing you the best! |
Anonymous
| If you aren't the sort of people to agonize over them being there, then I think it's fine. |
Anonymous
| i would use frozen embies. |
Anonymous
| I would use the frozens. Then if it doesn't work, move on to adoption. |
Anonymous
| Have you considered surrogacy? |
Anonymous
|
Very personal choice. It depends on your feelings about the embryos.
But think about it: many couples will have embryos left after TTC, regardless of whether the cycle resulted in a live birth. |
Anonymous
| We adopted so I say adopt. The goal is to be a parent. It doesn't matter how your child joins your family. |
Anonymous
| How many are left OP? If using them all would mean months of trying, I can entirely understand drawing a line? (I can actually understand either way but if there are two only left, I might push through one last cycle.) |
Anonymous
| Adoption takes a long time and is in its own way emotionally draining, so I would use the frozens and see what happens. I know it is $4k but I would do it. I would try both concurrently. Good luck! |
Anonymous
+1 And consider getting tested for implantation problems. |
Anonymous
| I'd go with the frozen one more time. You've gotten a positive HPT 2 times now (your dc and the cycle with mc) so you can get pregnant. |
Anonymous
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Hi, this is OP...and I have 5 frozens left, so it would take a couple of cycles to use them (assuming all survived the thaw). I know clinics don't freeze 'bad' embryos but I do keep thinking that we have tried the best ones already with no luck, so certainly these won't work. I am ama so the chances of any embryos being sub-par is larger.
Its so tough because while I am so grateful to have the frozen embryos, it makes it so hard to let go, and after everything I really want to let myself let go! I do not necessarily feel an obligation to use them all...if we had gotten pregnant I would have kept them frozen and never implanted them, but when I think that my DC was once an embryo it makes me look at it differently. I'm just so ready for resolution, as most of you on this forum are! For the PPs who have adopted...I know the struggles of IF treatment, but the struggles of adoption would be new to me. Do you think it was as tough, tougher, or just tough in a different way? My feeling is that once a baby is in our arms, how it got there won't matter so much! |
Anonymous
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We were in a similar situation. After 1 failed IVF, I was ready to get off the crazy train and move to adoption. We did so, and I was so happy, bc I knew I was getting SOMETHING (SOMEONE) at the end of the process.
THEN, after adopting #1, we have now gone back to do two FETs to use up our frozen embryos and give them "a chance." We did two FETs ( we had 3 frozen): the first, we put two in, it was negative. The 2nd, it ended up being cancelled at the last minute b/c the last remaining embryo did not survive the thaw.  Poor little embryo.
So, our situation is BIT different from yours in that I understand you do already have one child, but I personally felt I "owed it" to my embryos to give them a chance: I had created them, I had to give them a chance at least. I perfsonally felt I would be being selfish (I felt this way for me) to just go for what I wanted (parenthood) at the expense of them, who had been created by me in the first place. So, best of luck to you. I am just sharing my thoughts and I feel a big sense of peace now that I now we tried them, and can now move on. It was a challenge; I did not want to get back into this craziness all over again; but I do feel a bit sense of peace now that I know I tried, and now can move on with a nice sense of closure. Good luck to you. |
Anonymous
I am the poster who above said we adopted. The process of adoption was tough, but in a different way. None of it involves you physically. None of it involves the physical manipulation of your hormones, your health, etc. Instead, it will be tough b/c you are dealing with bureaucracy, paperwork, you need to be oraganized and stay on top of things. But if you are like most of us on here who are a relatively successful person, you have already done multiple "applications" of sort in your own life (college, post-college, jobs, etc.) so if you apply yourself, you can get thru it, just like you got thru (and probably succeeded at) all of these previous types of "applications." In that way, it felt like a more "familiar" type of effort to me -- and it also felt a BIT more controllable -- whereas with the IF treatments, there seeemed to be no correlation (for me at least) b/c effort put in, and results/output. This drove me batty. I am used to putting in effort, and seeing results.  In this way, adoption is easier, b/c you KNOW yoiu will be getting a "result" in the end.
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