how rare are potty accidents in kindergarten

[Anonymous]

My son had a pee accident at lunch on Monday this week and then another on the school bus today right before he got home. Before this, he was fine at school but twice in one week has me nervous. I hope it doesn't happen again but he is very shy about speaking up, especially outside the classroom (lunch, recess, specials etc). I know he also holds #2 at school but so far that has worked out with going before and after school. They whole thing really stresses me out a lot as a mother, I don't want him to be embarrassed. Ugh. He is very well behaved at school and doesn't want to break the routine by asking to go when he is supposed to be doing something else (which is all day pretty much). Any advice? Is this one of those small things I am not supposed to stress over?

[Anonymous]

Mine had 2 during K, once in October-ish, and another ... in the spring?

I don't have suggestions, but I wanted you to know that youa re not alone.

[Anonymous]

We had a similar situation with my step-daughter in Kindergarten and First Grade. We handled it poorly. She was afraid of using the bathroom (didn't want to be in the stall by herself) so she just sit their and pee herself. This happened daily. I'd run up to the school (or DH) bringing her new clothes, and then we figured out she was now doing it on purpose to see me. The teacher would take her to the bathroom, she would sit on the toilet and not pee than go to the room and piss everywhere. It was numerous times a day, finally we just would bring several pairs of clothes and have her in pull-ups, assuming she'd be embarrassed. Nope! Now we have a second grader in pull-ups. It's been a nightmare, but she also has some emotional issues so I assume that plays into it.

My suggestion would be not to make a big deal about it. Talk to his teacher and have her enforce a time he must go to the bathroom in the morning, after lunch and before he boards the bus.

[Anonymous]

My DD had an accident earlier this year and I know of multiple children in her class (like three or four other kids at least) who have also had accidents this year. They get scared to ask, hold it too long, are tired, very distracted etc.... I will say the kids don't seem to tease each other about it. After it happened to my DD (and she had her accident in the bathroom right before she was about to sit down, but other kids have had them in the classroom) it was a non issue and no one ever mentioned it again.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for replying, not making a big deal is probably good advice, it is hard though because I also want to solve it. I will talk to the teacher, I wonder if there was any routine break this week and thus less reminders or something.

Question for the step-mom. Is this a public school? Just wondering what school protocol is for this in general.

[Anonymous]

My son was terrified of the bathroom in K (a one-seater with a big, heavy door, no windows, and a hard-to-reach lightswitch) and terrified to ask his teacher if he could use it, anyway, so he just didn't go at school. He wet his pants every other day for a whole semester.

He's fine now that he's a year older, so there is hope.

Kindergarten is a long day; often teachers at that level don't remind kids to go, and the environment is new. It takes time. I agree with PP that it is best not to make a big deal about it - what's a little pee in the long run? Send extra clothes with your kid, ask your kid why s/he isn't using the bathroom just in case it's a fixable issue, but don't make it a Huge Issue or it will turn into a bigger deal than anyone wants. I think it is a common issue.

[Anonymous]

OP again. It is very reassuring to hear that it happens to a handful of kids in a class and there is not much teasing. K is a huge transition.

[Anonymous]

It only happened a few times for my son, which was miracle because he never went to the bathroom at school until January. He told me you got yelled at if you needed to use the bathroom. He would manage to hold it until we got home (unless I wasn't fast enough with the key in which case he would wet his pants). Thankfully a new teacher in December led to a better classroom environment and he learned to use the bathroom.
I would ask the teacher to identify a time to remind him to go.

[Anonymous]

I teach kindergarten--two accidents by the same kid in a week is fairly rare, but kids pee their pants in kindergarten. It happens. A lot. Really, I don't see any teasing from the other students either. In your case, it's probably a good idea to talk to his teacher, but also to make sure he knows that he is "allowed" to go to the bathroom when he needs to. Perhaps even if there is a "no bathroom time" during the day (I usually don't let my students go when we are on the carpet in a whole group activity) the teacher can make an exception for him so he knows he can go when he feels the need to.

Also, lots of kids won't poop at school. Not unusual at all, in my experience. To answer your question about school protocol, all my students have a complete change of clothes that stays at school. If a kid has an accident, an adult walks them down to the nurse with their clothes bag and she takes over from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for replying, not making a big deal is probably good advice, it is hard though because I also want to solve it. I will talk to the teacher, I wonder if there was any routine break this week and thus less reminders or something.

Question for the step-mom. Is this a public school? Just wondering what school protocol is for this in general.

We've had several ARDS about DD and as of now she can wear the pull-ups, although everyone involved prefer she not. Otherwise she will, and does pee her pants. No embarrassment. Nothing. She just goes to the office where she has several pairs of clothes and changes herself. One condition is that she has no assistance. If she pees in her pull-up she has to go to the. Use and change herself, but it has to be during downtime or class changes because she'll use it as accuse to get out of class. She's 8! I know she does get made fun of, but she seems to not care which kind of makes me proud, but also I wish some positive peer pressure would work its way into her brain.

She also is known to force vomiting for attention, or to get picked up, that's a new thing. Makes me hate her bio-mom so much.

[Anonymous]

OP Once more, thanks again all, I love this list, such helpful replies. Thanks to the Kindergarten teacher, I appreciate the perspective. Sometimes school can feel like a mystery to parents. Also, for the teacher, do the kids who refuse to poop at school also somehow avoid any accidents? It seems to have worked for my son so far, but it worries me too.

[Anonymous]

I'm a school psychologist and my office is right by the health office. Plenty of pee accidents in kinder and it seems to get worse in the winter. I think it is cold and the kids are bundled up which makes it harder. Generally, no one gets too concerned or upset about pee accidents. What really gets everyone riled up is when kids poop in their pants (this doesn't include special needs kids who have pull-ups). When I looked into schools for my kids I made sure to ask about and visit the school bathrooms. Plenty of kids won't poop at school because the bathrooms are dirty, it is too chaotic in there, not enough time, etc.

[Anonymous]

I used to work in a public school and they had an entire room full of extra clothes (of all sizes-meaning big kids too!) that were mostly used for these types of accidents. I've also dealt with these types of accidents directly. It is not a big deal, but packing up your kids urine soaked underwear does go beyond the call of duty and the holidays are a good opportunity to let your kid's teacher know how much you appreciate ALL of the times she must go above and beyond due to unexpected circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to work in a public school and they had an entire room full of extra clothes (of all sizes-meaning big kids too!) that were mostly used for these types of accidents. I've also dealt with these types of accidents directly. It is not a big deal, but packing up your kids urine soaked underwear does go beyond the call of duty and the holidays are a good opportunity to let your kid's teacher know how much you appreciate ALL of the times she must go above and beyond due to unexpected circumstances.

Amen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My son had a pee accident at lunch on Monday this week and then another on the school bus today right before he got home. Before this, he was fine at school but twice in one week has me nervous. I hope it doesn't happen again but he is very shy about speaking up, especially outside the classroom (lunch, recess, specials etc). I know he also holds #2 at school but so far that has worked out with going before and after school. They whole thing really stresses me out a lot as a mother, I don't want him to be embarrassed. Ugh. He is very well behaved at school and doesn't want to break the routine by asking to go when he is supposed to be doing something else (which is all day pretty much). Any advice? Is this one of those small things I am not supposed to stress over?

The fact that he is holding in #2 may have caused him to become constipated to some degree (even if it looks like he poops regularly). This happened to my son when he was 6-7. He start having accidents during the day. An x-ray showed some "back-up", so the ped prescribed a laxative, followed up by a daily protocol of Miralax until it resolved itself. It took a month or so, but it did resolve. We also encourage my son to go to the bathroom more frequently, even if he didn't "feel" like it. The ped explained that constipation can sometimes hide the sensation that you need to pee, until it's too late.