Do all schools "counsel out" students? Are certain schools more likely to do this?

[Anonymous]

Is it just the schools with a preschool/pre-k-12?

[Anonymous]

My child was counseled out of Sidwell at grade 3.

[Anonymous]

Was it a mutual decision? Did you feel like they had your child's best interests in mind? How did they have that conversation with you? And, parents of kids who also have been counseled out of Sidwell or other schools--how did that conversation go? Were efforts made to allow the child to stay, with accommodations, maybe? Now, in hindsight, do you think it was the right decision for your child? I feel like this is a less-discussed area of private schools.

[Anonymous]

Counseling out happens most often at schools that (a) are the most academically rigorous; and (b) have an entry stage at a grade/grades where predictions of future academic success are likelier to have a higher error rate.

So you hear of it most often at Sidwell, but it happens at some of the other schools with early entry as the child gets into the upper grade and it appears that there is not a good academic fit. More rarely, it will be for behavioral issues.

It's an upsetting process, but schools don't generally do it lightly and generally the kid is much happier in the new school.

[Anonymous]

my kid was not counseled out of a very rigorous school. She is a borderline student and I wish we had just moved back in third grade. Now I have kid who struggles academically and is stressed.

[Anonymous]

I work at a preK-8 school, and a few kids have been counseled out over the years. It rarely happens, but it's never a one-time conversation. It's a decision that's made over several years, after other interventions have been tried. In other words, it's not a decision that's made lightly, or comes out of the blue to anyone, and it's made in the best interest of the child. If a child's needs can't be met at a certain school, it's best that the child goes somewhere where s/he has a better chance of success. Honestly, many times public school is a better choice because they have more resources and programs already in place for students with special needs.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for these responses--interesting. I guess this is what I would expect. This is changing the topic a little, but I wonder how many people leave for social rather than academic reasons, either because they need to reinvent themselves, would like a bigger (or simply different) pond to swim in, or because the school thinks the child is struggling a lot to feel social acceptance. Each school has its own personality...

[Anonymous]

My oldest child was counseled out of a "big 3" school. Thrived socially but basically had all Cs in 9th grade... school essentially said work would only get harder, not the best fit. Could stay if needed but there were better schools out there for him... so true. At a different private now - it is less rigorous, but he is doing so much better and actually feels like its a much better academic fit. misses old friends. Still have a younger DS at the school and he is doing a -ok. So yes, I do think the school had the best interest at heart. I know they did not fill his spot the next year (i.e. no one was new in 10th grade). I think they just thought he could do better elsewhere and it would be a hell of a struggle to get to graduation. DH and I were angry when it happened but it really was not a personal thing, we are happy now that DS is doing better. Also need to think about college - where is a kid with all Cs and maybe lower(eek, dont even want to think about how bad jr year would have been at his old school) going to apply to college? DS is applying to decent to good colleges from his current school where he is making all As and Bs - think UVM, Connecticut College, St. Lawrence, Muhlenberg... I doubt he would have a shot at these as the lowest ranked kid at his old school.

[Anonymous]

At the schools my kids attended (k-8 and a 9-12) kids were counseled out mostly for academic reasons. In the k-8 it was usually learning issues that the school just wasn't able to support in a way that would be helpful for the child. There was one kid in the earliest grade who had behavior issues and was counseled out. In the 9-12 there were a number of kids who could not keep up with the work and moved on to other schools, some even mid year. In the HS there were a couple of kids expelled for behavior or cheating. These were not big 3 schools so I think it happens everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work at a preK-8 school, and a few kids have been counseled out over the years. It rarely happens, but it's never a one-time conversation. It's a decision that's made over several years, after other interventions have been tried. In other words, it's not a decision that's made lightly, or comes out of the blue to anyone, and it's made in the best interest of the child. If a child's needs can't be met at a certain school, it's best that the child goes somewhere where s/he has a better chance of success. Honestly, many times public school is a better choice because they have more resources and programs already in place for students with special needs.

Why are private schools considered charitable institutions if they can not meet the needs of kids with disabilities?

[Anonymous]

Because they are not charities. They are structured as non-profits but they are institutions catering to an elite customer base.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work at a preK-8 school, and a few kids have been counseled out over the years. It rarely happens, but it's never a one-time conversation. It's a decision that's made over several years, after other interventions have been tried. In other words, it's not a decision that's made lightly, or comes out of the blue to anyone, and it's made in the best interest of the child. If a child's needs can't be met at a certain school, it's best that the child goes somewhere where s/he has a better chance of success. Honestly, many times public school is a better choice because they have more resources and programs already in place for students with special needs.

Why are private schools considered charitable institutions if they can not meet the needs of kids with disabilities?

It just isn't possible for a private school to be all things for all kids. We are fortunate in this area to have a range of private schools to fit various niches. I have one DC who is an intense student and another who has mild disabilities and there is no way they could attend the same school I always say that the child has to fit the school because you can't fit the school to the child.

[Anonymous]

I was under the impression they provide a benefit to society by educating those from Title I schools based on their federal grants issued by the Department of Education? Why are they exempt from paying property taxes if they do not provide any services to the public school community except for renting out facilities? Why do they receive charitable donations from parents whose students are on financial aid and well above the poverty line? Why do so many proponents of public schools send their children to private schools? I am very interested in the preferential tax treatment of these 501(c)3 that discriminate on the basis of learning disabilities but, all have access ramps for those with physical challenges? Please enlighten me?

[Anonymous]

I was under the impression they provide a benefit to society by educating those from Title I schools based on their federal grants issued by the Department of Education? Why are they exempt from paying property taxes if they do not provide any services to the public school community except for renting out facilities? Why do they receive charitable donations from parents whose students are on financial aid and well above the poverty line? Why do so many proponents of public schools send their children to private schools? I am very interested in the preferential tax treatment of these 501(c)3 that discriminate on the basis of learning disabilities but, all have access ramps for those with physical challenges? Please enlighten me?

Could you please start a new thread for this discussion? These questions have nothing to do with the original topic of this thread. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I was under the impression they provide a benefit to society by educating those from Title I schools based on their federal grants issued by the Department of Education? Why are they exempt from paying property taxes if they do not provide any services to the public school community except for renting out facilities? Why do they receive charitable donations from parents whose students are on financial aid and well above the poverty line? Why do so many proponents of public schools send their children to private schools? I am very interested in the preferential tax treatment of these 501(c)3 that discriminate on the basis of learning disabilities but, all have access ramps for those with physical challenges? Please enlighten me?

Could you please start a new thread for this discussion? These questions have nothing to do with the original topic of this thread. Thanks.[/quote]+1