Bisexual woman with a question for the broader LGBT community

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an older lesbian, I've watched younger women assume the bi label because it's cool. They fool around with women, because why not? But they don't actually imagine they will live their life with a woman.

You're getting rebuffed by women who are looking for a relationship, not just a romp in the hay. They don't trust that you will go through with that level of commitment.

You are what's wrong with the lesbian community, and you should be ashamed of yourself. Seriously.

Are you a lesbian because you like to use women for sex? Are you doing it because it's cool? I'm going to guess not. Bi people aren't doing it for those reasons, either.

[Anonymous]

This thread was very insightful. As a bi woman I wanted to add that being bi can be very lonely at times. I am attracted to men and women sexually and romantically. I know that I could happily fall in love with a woman and spend my life with her. Am I aware there are additional challenges should that happen? Of course I am, but I think love is worth it. The thing is that I run across so few women that are willing to as they see it “take a chance”. It becomes painful. I love women. I think they beautiful inside and out. But they feel as if they are something I yearn for, but can never have.

[Anonymous]

Statistically speaking, most bi women end up with men in the long run.

Gay men also don't have the best experience with bi men, who seem to be primarily closeted gay men with families and on the down low on the apps. And the handful of genuinely bi men always walk away for a relationship for a woman. I have never met a bi man who chose a gay partner over a wife or girlfriend.

Hard to build a meaningful relationship when the odds are so stacked against it. To be strictly fair, I always thought being bi meant you were twice more likely to cheat because you've doubled your prospective sex pool. And there's also the practical reality of sexual attraction. Being bi and in a committed relationship means closing off one entire sexual attraction. Very hard to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Statistically speaking, most bi women end up with men in the long run.

Gay men also don't have the best experience with bi men, who seem to be primarily closeted gay men with families and on the down low on the apps. And the handful of genuinely bi men always walk away for a relationship for a woman. I have never met a bi man who chose a gay partner over a wife or girlfriend.

Hard to build a meaningful relationship when the odds are so stacked against it. To be strictly fair, I always thought being bi meant you were twice more likely to cheat because you've doubled your prospective sex pool. And there's also the practical reality of sexual attraction. Being bi and in a committed relationship means closing off one entire sexual attraction. Very hard to do that.

You are trotting out all of the early 2000's biphobic talking points. Bi men are gay. Bi women are faking it. All bi people cheat. Literally year 2000 biphobia all wrapped up in one small post.

Your post is disgusting and doesn't belong on an LGBT board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After I wrote this, I read it and realize it reads harsh, but it being and anonymous board and how I actually feel, I am posting it anyway.

Gay man here. My two cents is that you are perceived as wanting all the perks of being lgbt with none of the challenges that go with it. Coming out is irreversible. It was the scariest, but most exciting time of my life. For nearly all lgbt people it is the same

Since you can always choose to be with a man, coming out for you can be taken back at any time and is not permanent Accordingly we have sharply different experiences and bluntly (and selfishly) I don't want you to experience the perks without the challenges.

It feels a bit like you are trying take from me and my community in a way that even straight people of privilege don't. And for that reason you will always be an outsider. We are not the same.

+1

[Anonymous]

I'm bi, or was once actively, but I wasn't accepted by lesbians because I'd have sex with men. And back in the 90's it was hard to find other bi women. I've been happily married to a man for 27 years and I'm happily monogamous. If something were to happen in our marriage I'd be willing to consider getting involved with a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an older lesbian, I've watched younger women assume the bi label because it's cool. They fool around with women, because why not? But they don't actually imagine they will live their life with a woman.

You're getting rebuffed by women who are looking for a relationship, not just a romp in the hay. They don't trust that you will go through with that level of commitment.

+1000

+2000 I don't know any woman who identifies as bi who is with a woman. Zero. Only ones I know are married to cis-het men.