I'm so sorry this happened to you, OP. It was considerate of you to be honest about your/your kids' halachic status and the rabbi could have done you the courtesy of being up front in return. |
Yes, I am interested in finding a synagogue who provides sponsorship for conversion. I never brought up my interest in conversion to the Chabad Rabbi as I know they don't get involved with conversions. I was hoping, though, that my children, even as patrilineal Jews, would be welcomed. I have heard so many stories of people saying their local (across the US) being welcoming. However, I know they are basically run independently so not every place operates the same or has the same level of openness. |
OP here.. forgot to include the words "Chabad houses"
So should read: "I have heard so many stories of people saying their local (across the US) Chabad houses being welcoming." |
I didn't mention my interest in conversion, however, I think I may have said I was taking an introductory class. We actually attended a different Chabad's public menorah lighting a few weeks ago. And I also attended an online zoom discussion that was about the war and the t3rror attacks leading up to it. I don't want people to think that my idea was to just dump my kids and run. Quite the contrary! I want to get involved so that I can learn more. I understand that Chabad is Orthodox, however, I was hoping that as my husband (who is Jewish but secular) and I would be joining events together that they would be, shall I say, a little more curious to indulge me? Ha. Like I said, no big deal, you don't know until you ask and start feeling places out. |
I think you should have discussed your family's intention to become fully Jewish. That's really what makes the difference, because so many interfaith families are looking for something they call "exposure" for their kids without intending for them to convert and join the Jewish community exclusively. I think you might have received a very different response had you discussed it this way. If you're intending to convert, you're only a non-Jew temporarily. I am aware of converts within the Chabad movement as well as one person whose conversion was supervised by a Chabad rabbi. They wouldn't rule out helping you. You just didn't convince this rabbi that you are in earnest. |
Chabad is a cult OP Not the right place for you and your family Reform would be a better fit Yes Chabad is welcoming it’s all a facade. Jew here am me how I know. |
You need to stick with a reformed congregation. Conservative, orthodox or Hasidic will not be welcoming. They will tolerate you but it's not going to be comfortable. There are some less formal groups that would be better. |
Ok since your husband is Jewish (even if he's athiest/non practicing) I think you could actually try Chabad. If you had zero connection to Judiasm I think it would be weird. |
This. Judaism doesn't get a lot of converts so it throws people off. You should explained that your husband is Jewish and you are considering formal conversion for yourself and your children and want to start with hebrew school. |
I posted above about doing things with Chabad but sticking with my Reform synagogue for services.
You may want to call the rabbi back. Since Jews don’t actively recruit other Jews, I’ve heard that rabbis initially seem disinterested (this is about conversion specifically) and respond after the person continues to ask to prove they are serious. The rabbi has a good point about starting Hebrew school in the middle of the year. Maybe your kids could get tutored on what they missed and then join the class. I’m honestly, though, not sure why you are trying so hard for Chabad when you will find many families like yourself at a Reform congregation. You will be welcomed whether or not you convert and your kids will be considered Jewish. My brother’s wife did not convert but has been raising my nieces Jewish and they each had a bat mitzvah with a Reform rabbi. |
Ignore this bigoted troll. Chabad is an Orthodox Jewish sect. They are open about what they do, and provide some of the best Judaica resources available , for free. Like any group of people, some members are crazy or bad. There are some large insular groups in some cities. You don't have to live like them, but they aren't trying to trick, coerce, or rob anyone. |
You're overreacting. They aren't proselytizing. They are practicing their religion seriously. You asked for information, and they gave you information. Also, it was Hanukah week recently. |
It would at least be professional courtesy for him to follow up with you, as he indicated he would. You got the feeling that you and your family weren’t good enough to be accepted or included, and that is supported by the fact the guy couldn’t even call you back and let you know what his wife said. Do you really want to be a member of an organization that treats people like that? Find someplace that cares about you and your family. |
My dad was brought up Orthodox and didn't want that for his family. My parents raised us reform and at one point we went to a reconstructionist temple. I felt most welcome there.
Now my kids are at a Chabad. The program they attend is more like a Jewish kids club. That's fine with me but I was surprised to find that at Chabad. My kids love it and I love how it gets them around other Jewish children since there are not many at their school. The program feeds them dinner and they make Jewish based crafts. It is very affordable. That being said, I don't think I would feel comfortable going to service there and while I have attended a few other events, I don't feel super welcome and don't really know many of the congregation. When my kids get older, we will probably enroll them in Hebrew School somewhere else. I have previously looked at joining a reformed synogage but it was pretty pricey. I think there are some places where you can just attend for the school. |
People who practice their religion seriously, that’s a good way to put it. People who take their religion seriously and practice their religion seriously should be treated with respect and supported in their beliefs and practices. They have every right and entitlement to follow the rules and teachings of their religion. If others don’t like or agree with those beliefs and rules and practices, that’s of no consequence, because as Americans, we have a responsibility to protect and defend the right of religious people to practice their religion seriously. Well said. I am glad to see someone who believes that religious people are not supposed to change their beliefs or actions because it makes others uncomfortable or feel like they don’t belong. Religion is serious, and strict adherence to the rules and traditions of the religion is necessary and should be respected. |