Travel sports are killing American families

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It is pretty much everything. We dropped scouting because we kept hearing from other parents in the troop: “Eagle Scout is pretty much the only thing from your youth that you can put on a resume.” They acted accordingly.

Everything starts with noble intentions. But eventually that which is good can and will be corrupted as people try to exploit and optimize it.

FOMO is the other part. Many parents will do travel sports (dance, music, robotics, spelling, etc…) because they wish they had experienced that kind of investment as children. But your kid won’t appreciate it because they never knew not having it. Indeed, they may instead grow up shunning it because they want their eventual kids to have what they did not have: a laid back childhood.

We have one in travel and one on a local club team. We’ve tried to respond to their specific needs and situations, but ultimately they may choose a different path for their own children someday.

That’s a good point. I sometimes wonder whether the pendulum will swing the other way when the current generation grows up and has kids of their own. Maybe local rec sports and unstructured pickup games will become more popular. It’s interesting how many Olympic and pro athletes say they aren’t going to push their kids to do their sport (unless they want to).

Also interesting how many athletes have athletic kids. Maybe they don't always play the same sport, but goes to show there are inherited aspects. Famous children of athletes: Nastia Liukin, the Peyton and Eli Manning, Patrick Mahomes, Bronny James, Steph Curry, and on and on.

Nobody is going back to unstructured pick up games any more than we're going back to latch key kids. The kids aren't allowed to be unstructured or unsupervised like the good old days. So having your kids just sit out and be bored at home on weekends with nothing to do isn't going to change any minds.

Some parents in my town started a pickup sports program recently. It’s lightly supervised, but the kids show up and organize their own games. So far it’s been successful and popular.

How does this work? Is there a webpage? I’d be willing to start something like this for our town

A couple of parents got together and posted on the town facebook page. It was basically “hey, we’re starting up a pickup sports group on Thursdays at 5:00 at X playground, bring your kids, you can stay or drop off, we will be there supervising”. It got an overwhelmingly positive response. Around 25 kids showed up the first week. Some played basketball, some played kickball, everyone had fun.

That would be awesome if you started a similar group in your town! I bet you’d have a lot of grateful parents willing to participate and help out

So, it's pickup, with parents helping and supervising and lots of kids turn out. So it's a lot like rec without the insurance and rental fees. This won't last long.

It would last until either a kid got hurt, wandered away or a team with field permits showed up

Yes, because being locked up indoors with screens by catastrophizing parents is so much healthier for kids.

The idea of pick up isn't that a group of parents go down to the park and organize and oversee games. The point is the kids organize, enforce the rules, and oversee the games. What was stopping any of these parents from taking their kids to the park anyway if they have the time and inclination to start up this alternate rec league that meets at a certain place and time every week?

PP here. Since unsupervised pickup isn’t practical nowadays, this is a compromise where parents try to provide an approximation of that experience for kids. It’s not an alternate rec league that requires town permits and waivers and oversight. Parents aren’t refereeing and enforcing rules. Kids bring a ball, organize themselves and go play, while parents hang out on nearby benches or socialize with each other. It’s been going for several weeks. So far everyone has enjoyed themselves and made some new friends. Not sure why the concept is attracting so much hate. It’s just some parents looking to give their kids a low key environment to play sports, learn to regulate themselves, and have fun.

These kids must be very young. Because I did all this when it was a MeetUp for parents of toddlers. Older kids do not play like this. Be honest, how old are the kids?

Mostly elementary age.

You’re being cagey so kinder and first?

NP. WTF is wrong with you? Nobody cares. Drop it.

Look if you’re going to pretend a kindergarten play date at the park is going to take off and change youth sports you’re full of it.

Please point to where the PP claimed this was going to change the landscape of youth sports. Also please point to where they said it was kindergarteners. You're making up ridiculous assumptions inside your head and then attacking your own fantasy. Go do something constructive.

Piss off. People here are talking about pickup and why can’t we have that any more. This is not pickup its just a play date.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It is pretty much everything. We dropped scouting because we kept hearing from other parents in the troop: “Eagle Scout is pretty much the only thing from your youth that you can put on a resume.” They acted accordingly.

Everything starts with noble intentions. But eventually that which is good can and will be corrupted as people try to exploit and optimize it.

FOMO is the other part. Many parents will do travel sports (dance, music, robotics, spelling, etc…) because they wish they had experienced that kind of investment as children. But your kid won’t appreciate it because they never knew not having it. Indeed, they may instead grow up shunning it because they want their eventual kids to have what they did not have: a laid back childhood.

We have one in travel and one on a local club team. We’ve tried to respond to their specific needs and situations, but ultimately they may choose a different path for their own children someday.

That’s a good point. I sometimes wonder whether the pendulum will swing the other way when the current generation grows up and has kids of their own. Maybe local rec sports and unstructured pickup games will become more popular. It’s interesting how many Olympic and pro athletes say they aren’t going to push their kids to do their sport (unless they want to).

Also interesting how many athletes have athletic kids. Maybe they don't always play the same sport, but goes to show there are inherited aspects. Famous children of athletes: Nastia Liukin, the Peyton and Eli Manning, Patrick Mahomes, Bronny James, Steph Curry, and on and on.

Nobody is going back to unstructured pick up games any more than we're going back to latch key kids. The kids aren't allowed to be unstructured or unsupervised like the good old days. So having your kids just sit out and be bored at home on weekends with nothing to do isn't going to change any minds.

Some parents in my town started a pickup sports program recently. It’s lightly supervised, but the kids show up and organize their own games. So far it’s been successful and popular.

How does this work? Is there a webpage? I’d be willing to start something like this for our town

A couple of parents got together and posted on the town facebook page. It was basically “hey, we’re starting up a pickup sports group on Thursdays at 5:00 at X playground, bring your kids, you can stay or drop off, we will be there supervising”. It got an overwhelmingly positive response. Around 25 kids showed up the first week. Some played basketball, some played kickball, everyone had fun.

That would be awesome if you started a similar group in your town! I bet you’d have a lot of grateful parents willing to participate and help out

So, it's pickup, with parents helping and supervising and lots of kids turn out. So it's a lot like rec without the insurance and rental fees. This won't last long.

It would last until either a kid got hurt, wandered away or a team with field permits showed up

Yes, because being locked up indoors with screens by catastrophizing parents is so much healthier for kids.

The idea of pick up isn't that a group of parents go down to the park and organize and oversee games. The point is the kids organize, enforce the rules, and oversee the games. What was stopping any of these parents from taking their kids to the park anyway if they have the time and inclination to start up this alternate rec league that meets at a certain place and time every week?

PP here. Since unsupervised pickup isn’t practical nowadays, this is a compromise where parents try to provide an approximation of that experience for kids. It’s not an alternate rec league that requires town permits and waivers and oversight. Parents aren’t refereeing and enforcing rules. Kids bring a ball, organize themselves and go play, while parents hang out on nearby benches or socialize with each other. It’s been going for several weeks. So far everyone has enjoyed themselves and made some new friends. Not sure why the concept is attracting so much hate. It’s just some parents looking to give their kids a low key environment to play sports, learn to regulate themselves, and have fun.

Where do you live? My kids do unsupervised pick up sports all the time (and a travel sport).