African-American parents - where are your kids in school and how are they doing?

[Anonymous]

I have an almost kindergartner daughter and a son a few years younger. I am so conflicted about what is the "right" school environment for them. Do we send them to the more diverse, but possibly lower-achieving schools, or get them into the best academically we can afford (whether it's going private or moving to a different district) even if they are surrounded by mostly white students. I went to DCPS, so I have that experience of the lower-achieving school but I definitely got a lot from being exposed to all kinds of different people (we were upper-middle class, but most of the other AA students in my schools were not). And then I know plenty of private school kids who felt isolated socially due to the low numbers of AAs at their schools. And to look at us all as adults, there's not much difference in the levels of success we've attained. But of course, the perspective I have on all of this is 20+ years old - things have likely changed since I was in school, especially socially. I know to a certain extent, we are going to have to wait and see how our kids do in school, but I was wondering how other AA parents have made this decision and what the results have been.

[Anonymous]

Do you only want responses from AA parents or can other black parents weigh in? Im African and I have kids in big 3 privates.

[Anonymous]

OP here - yes, I am interested in hearing different perspectives. I just specifically asked for African-American responses because that's what my kids are. But I would imagine that African students would face many of the same issues ...

[Anonymous]

OP, I have kids in public school in MCPS. We are in one of the lower achieving areas, but our HHI is higher than most families here, so similar to your situation. We will be moving to find a better school district mostly because one child is easily influenced by others. She will outgrow this (as I did), but for the foreseeable future there are way too many bumps in the road that will make her life difficult if she falls in with the wrong crowd.
We are looking to enter a district that is less diverse, yes I worry, but she will likely have a smaller group of friends (also diverse). She will be forced to hang out with kids who are more open to different types, which is not a bad thing. Both kids also think that they are doing well. I believe that will change in the next school.

[Anonymous]

OP, we live in DC. Our (now-shuttered) DCPS elementary educated students from all over the District, largely AA. Academic results were not terrific, but school did have a committed parent body. Our former chancellor merged the school with a middle school with a difficult security record, and many of those committed parents fled. For us, this option was a non starter -- we could have dealt with not-so-great academics; but we were not going to send our child to school where we were not confident that he would be safe. And if he managed to survive unscathed, some of the older children at that school would not have served as positive role models. We tried the OOB process, and that did not work for us...but if you live in the District it could work for you! There are some good DCPS schools that are diverse. Though you have a better shot if you apply for PK, rather than K, I think.

Anyway, we are sending DS to a low-key independent school; when we toured, it did not seem particularly diverse, but 15-20 percent of the children in DC's class have at least 1 AA parent, and there are some children who are of Latino heritage as well. We will probably send younger sibling as well. (Based on our experience, it is preferable that our child not be the only AA child in his class...but with goodwill all around, that's worked, too. Depends on the child, to a certain extent.) DC also seems to thrive in traditional, structured -- yet warm and cozy -- environment. Your children are still young; we found that there are many factors to consider in choosing a school, particularly as learning preferences emerge.

Anyway, you asked how we made our decision; for us, ambiance and safety were more important than academics. DC seems happy in the school we ultimately chose; actually, he chose the school...which probably contributes to his current sense of satisfaction, it now occurs to me.
But DC is still too young for us to assess "results" of our decision.

[Anonymous]

We are white, I deliberately chose a very diverse school in DCPS but one with middling test scores in the 50%. The school had about 30-40 AA 30-40 Hispanic and rest was Asian. The AA population shrank and the Hispanic population grew over the several years we were there and the poverty rate hovered around 60%. It was a disaster. The kids brought just too many issues sex, siblings with gang and drug issues, homelessnesses, parents that were just plain abusive. Finally my kid had learning issues and while they were significant to us, they were insignificant to the school because there were so many other issues that kids had from being non-English speakers on down. We stayed for 4 years because I thought it would get better, it did not. Teachers are people they work hard they are not miracle workers and we are asking a lot of very difficult high poverty situations. We are now going to a Ward 3 school that has at least 40% AA and it is so much better not just the academics but the kids themselves just have so much less baggage. So frankly my advice go with what your class comfort level is, it will make a big difference.

[Anonymous]

My kids are very young, like yours. Right now, more than the academics, I'm interested in cultural literacy and socialization with AA peers. I feel it's an inoculation to identity issues that may come up later, when they are marginalized by their decidedly middle class upbringing---the values, household habits, and exposure to opportunities not typically found within the local community.

I'm also a product of DCPS, but ended up at a tony private school and elite college. The early immersion in all-AA environments (D.C. was pretty different 20 years ago, wasn't it?) gave me both a context of belonging AND an understanding of how I was different from peers who may have shared a general cultural background with me but differed in terms of housing and family structure (and all that this entailed).

The connection between racial socialization and things like self-esteem and resilience has been well established within the literature. I think it's great that you're taking this element into consideration when thinking about their schooling.

Good luck working this out and finding what works best for your family.

[Anonymous]

identity issues that may come up later, when they are marginalized by their decidedly middle class upbringing

WTF? Marginalized by middle class upbringing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My kids are very young, like yours. Right now, more than the academics, I'm interested in cultural literacy and socialization with AA peers. I feel it's an inoculation to identity issues that may come up later, when they are marginalized by their decidedly middle class upbringing---the values, household habits, and exposure to opportunities not typically found within the local community.

I'm also a product of DCPS, but ended up at a tony private school and elite college. The early immersion in all-AA environments (D.C. was pretty different 20 years ago, wasn't it?) gave me both a context of belonging AND an understanding of how I was different from peers who may have shared a general cultural background with me but differed in terms of housing and family structure (and all that this entailed).
The connection between racial socialization and things like self-esteem and resilience has been well established within the literature. I think it's great that you're taking this element into consideration when thinking about their schooling.

Good luck working this out and finding what works best for your family.

OP here. So interesting you mention this aspect - this was definitely an eye-opening experience for me in middle and high school in DCPS. It was not always an easy place to be a smart, achievement-oriented AA student. In the end, I came out with a stronger sense of self, but I question whether that's what I want to set my kids up for. What's worse - social ostrazation by your AA peers or social isolation because you have no AA peers? Or maybe these issues have changed a bit since I was in school. I know it depends a bit on the kid, but that's what I struggle with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My kids are very young, like yours. Right now, more than the academics, I'm interested in cultural literacy and socialization with AA peers. I feel it's an inoculation to identity issues that may come up later, when they are marginalized by their decidedly middle class upbringing---the values, household habits, and exposure to opportunities not typically found within the local community.

I'm also a product of DCPS, but ended up at a tony private school and elite college. The early immersion in all-AA environments (D.C. was pretty different 20 years ago, wasn't it?) gave me both a context of belonging AND an understanding of how I was different from peers who may have shared a general cultural background with me but differed in terms of housing and family structure (and all that this entailed).
The connection between racial socialization and things like self-esteem and resilience has been well established within the literature. I think it's great that you're taking this element into consideration when thinking about their schooling.

Good luck working this out and finding what works best for your family.

OP again - I messed up the quotes on my previous post.

OP here. So interesting you mention this aspect - this was definitely an eye-opening experience for me in middle and high school in DCPS. It was not always an easy place to be a smart, achievement-oriented AA student. In the end, I came out with a stronger sense of self, but I question whether that's what I want to set my kids up for. What's worse - social ostrazation by your AA peers or social isolation because you have no AA peers? Or maybe these issues have changed a bit since I was in school. I know it depends a bit on the kid, but that's what I struggle with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My kids are very young, like yours. Right now, more than the academics, I'm interested in cultural literacy and socialization with AA peers. I feel it's an inoculation to identity issues that may come up later, when they are marginalized by their decidedly middle class upbringing---the values, household habits, and exposure to opportunities not typically found within the local community.

I'm also a product of DCPS, but ended up at a tony private school and elite college. The early immersion in all-AA environments (D.C. was pretty different 20 years ago, wasn't it?) gave me both a context of belonging AND an understanding of how I was different from peers who may have shared a general cultural background with me but differed in terms of housing and family structure (and all that this entailed).
The connection between racial socialization and things like self-esteem and resilience has been well established within the literature. I think it's great that you're taking this element into consideration when thinking about their schooling.

Good luck working this out and finding what works best for your family.

OP again - I messed up the quotes on my previous post.

OP here. So interesting you mention this aspect - this was definitely an eye-opening experience for me in middle and high school in DCPS. It was not always an easy place to be a smart, achievement-oriented AA student. In the end, I came out with a stronger sense of self, but I question whether that's what I want to set my kids up for. What's worse - social ostrazation by your AA peers or social isolation because you have no AA peers? Or maybe these issues have changed a bit since I was in school. I know it depends a bit on the kid, but that's what I struggle with.

NP here. I think it is hard to find that sweet spot where there are enough smart and achievement oriented black students that your child is not ostracized. We are doing ok in that respect in our SS elementary school, but our kids are still in very early grades. I recall growing up, the estrangement from black peers did not start in earnest until middle school. For other reasons, we are keeping private school an option for middle school, but we are still leery of many of the private schools for the isolation reasons. It's tough. I have heard that the BCC and Walter Johnson clusters in Montgomery County are relatively good places to strike the balance. But anecdotally, I have heard of high achieving black students being given a hard time.

[Anonymous]

My kids are in one of the better charter schools in DC. We love it. We are moving our rising 9th grader to an all boys private school next year. I just want the structure for him. I've been very happy. The school is extremely diverse. It's great.

[Anonymous]

Our kids went to DCPS until the end of 5th grade and then went private. They are doing great; they have a wide range of friends. Best of all, their AA (and other) friends are smart, come from families where academics are valued (like ours), and are really nice kids. Diversity is nice, but peer group is more important as they get older, in my opinion. I want my kids to be in an atmosphere where excellence is expected of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My kids are very young, like yours. Right now, more than the academics, I'm interested in cultural literacy and socialization with AA peers. I feel it's an inoculation to identity issues that may come up later, when they are marginalized by their decidedly middle class upbringing---the values, household habits, and exposure to opportunities not typically found within the local community.

I'm also a product of DCPS, but ended up at a tony private school and elite college. The early immersion in all-AA environments (D.C. was pretty different 20 years ago, wasn't it?) gave me both a context of belonging AND an understanding of how I was different from peers who may have shared a general cultural background with me but differed in terms of housing and family structure (and all that this entailed).
The connection between racial socialization and things like self-esteem and resilience has been well established within the literature. I think it's great that you're taking this element into consideration when thinking about their schooling.

Good luck working this out and finding what works best for your family.

OP again - I messed up the quotes on my previous post.

OP here. So interesting you mention this aspect - this was definitely an eye-opening experience for me in middle and high school in DCPS. It was not always an easy place to be a smart, achievement-oriented AA student. In the end, I came out with a stronger sense of self, but I question whether that's what I want to set my kids up for. What's worse - social ostrazation by your AA peers or social isolation because you have no AA peers? Or maybe these issues have changed a bit since I was in school. I know it depends a bit on the kid, but that's what I struggle with.

NP here. I think it is hard to find that sweet spot where there are enough smart and achievement oriented black students that your child is not ostracized. We are doing ok in that respect in our SS elementary school, but our kids are still in very early grades. I recall growing up, the estrangement from black peers did not start in earnest until middle school. For other reasons, we are keeping private school an option for middle school, but we are still leery of many of the private schools for the isolation reasons. It's tough. I have heard that the BCC and Walter Johnson clusters in Montgomery County are relatively good places to strike the balance. But anecdotally, I have heard of high achieving black students being given a hard time.

I'm in the Silver Spring area and am pleased with our elementary school and have heard good things about our middle school. However, I do wonder about high school and will be open to private for DS. I'm curious to hear more about the experiences of Black students at BCC and Walter Johnson. And I'd love to hear more about experiences at private schools in the area. These are important issues.

[Anonymous]

OP here - I also live in Silver Spring and expect we will send the kids to our neighborhood elementary school. I am also interested in hearing about AA experiences in the Silver Spring middle and high schools, as well as experiences at BCC and WJ, which would probably be out target areas to move if we felt it necessary.