She shushed my toddler and made him cry

[Anonymous]

My friend (who I haven't seen in 4 years) flew in last night. I offered to pick her up at the airport and have a few drinks to catch up. She insisted in having DH and DS there too for dinner.

I told her it was probably too late, DS would be miserable and ruin it. DH would stay home with DS and we could have some girls time and we'd do the family thing for lunch during the weekend. She said absolutely no, she wanted to meet DS at any cost and that if he fussed we could just sooth him. I mentally rolled my eyes (she's single and has no kids) and suggested a noisy family friendly restaurant. She agreed and that's where it happened. DS took his time warming up to her (she was clearly upset) and as we approached bed time he started the screeching episodes followed by banging on the table. We (me and DH) took turns walking him around until DS could not handle it anymore. We boxes our food while she finished hers and in the middle of the boxing DS started screaming and trying to unbuckle the highchair while we finished boxing and talked calmly to DS she snapped and shushed him so loud the poor thing stopped breathing for a second and then melted down crying.

We paid, marched outside towards the car and she tried making conversation on the way back. While I was pretty upset DH was just annoyed. I know for sure everything will be back the same on Saturday for lunch but I just wanted to vent a little. Thanks for listening.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she drank too much. And she is childless. Just forget about it, she prob. didn't realize it would make him cry.

[Anonymous]

Next time instead of "mentally rolling your eyes", just say, "Sorry, that won't work. We'll have lunch together tomorrow." The end.

[Anonymous]

What was her reaction when the child stopped breathing for a second and then started crying again?

[Anonymous]

Next time, do not go out when you know your child would fuss.

[Anonymous]

Faux problem.

[Anonymous]

your fault for being spineless

You were single once. Why can't you put yourself back in that role and remember what it was like?

You seem condescending.

Get over yourself.

oh - Your kid will survive from being "shushed."

[Anonymous]

Your kid was already screaming--what difference does it make if it turned into crying? Kid was upset before the shushing. Blame yourself for caving when you knew it was a bad idea. Being pissed at your friend doesn't help anything any more than being pissed at the toddler.
.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:your fault for being spineless

You were single once. Why can't you put yourself back in that role and remember what it was like?

You seem condescending.

Get over yourself.

oh - Your kid will survive from being "shushed."

A bit harsh but damn it, I have to agree. Your child was already crying so her shushing him and then him crying again isn't very traumatizing to the child. He was already crying...Also, in order for her to shush a child so hard/loud that she would make the child stop breathing to catch his breath, she would have to really scream it and EVERYONE would hear it.

[Anonymous]

She doesn't have kids and doesn't understand what it really means to take a child out late. You know. So I really don't understand why you let her make the decision about what you, DH and DS were going to do.

[Anonymous]

Parents fault, not your friend. All of you sound clueless.

[Anonymous]

You could have said to her "Hey friend, I've got this." Just said something to let her know that you would parent your own child-- you don't need her stepping in and trying to take over.

[Anonymous]

And someone told your precious snowflake to be quiet! Oh noes! The world is ending!

[Anonymous]

^^^^^I would add that everyone was clueless except the child that acted appropriately (for a child) and knew she should be in bed.

Mommy & Daddy - get your act together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:your fault for being spineless

You were single once. Why can't you put yourself back in that role and remember what it was like?

You seem condescending.

Get over yourself.

oh - Your kid will survive from being "shushed."

I agree that this is a little harsh, but true.

It's really just your fault OP. You should have just said dinner at that time would noT work. End of story. You caused drama where there did not need to be any.