Neither AC wants kids. I can't help feeling like I failed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting married and intentionally deciding not to have kids is quite strange. This is not normal human behavior.

Works for us. Going on 30 yrs. Life is good!

If life is so great then why are you on a site about parenting?? Make it make sense Cecil.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you could adopt or foster. I get wanting the grandparent experience, but at the expense of your child that doesn't want one? Focus on what you can control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't relate. I am mid 40s. I never wanted kids. I have 2. It's miserable. Working and having kids as a mother sucks.

I wish I had been born 10-15 years later when now the pressure is not there like it was for me.

I would be thrilled if my kids don't want kids. Mine are still elementary.

I have no interest in being in my 60s or 70s having to deal with grandkids. No thanks.

I will deal with whatever makes them happy.

Just because you had kids does not mean your kids will have the same life...and that is okay.

Ugh this pains me. Yes kids are hard. But I am mid-40s as well and know plenty of people who did NOT have kids by choice. You shouldn't have had them if you felt this way.

They were not planned. Sex once for each in a bad marriage conceived years apart. No sex in between. The first was forced. I did not do this too myself. I considered abortion but was raised too religiously. It was done to trap me I marriage. Eventually I divorced.

[Anonymous]

I would be devastated if my child didn't have kids. While I'd love to have them for my own selfish wants, I'd be more worried about how lonely it would be for DC in old age.

[Anonymous]

I would feel relieved. My/our life has been very difficult. Kids affect every other experience we can have in this life. I would be happy to support their choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be devastated if my child didn't have kids. While I'd love to have them for my own selfish wants, I'd be more worried about how lonely it would be for DC in old age.

Please don’t project these worries on to your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting married and intentionally deciding not to have kids is quite strange. This is not normal human behavior.

Works for us. Going on 30 yrs. Life is good!

If life is so great then why are you on a site about parenting?? Make it make sense Cecil.

Different poster here, but I stumbled on this board via a Google search on Hilaria Baldwin. The rest is history, but to be honest, reading the hundreds of threads posted by unhappy parents in unhappy marriages or coparenting with hostile ex spouses definitely removes any tiny doubts I might have still held about whether I missed out by not parenting. I spend most of my time reading threads on other topics, in particular on teaching because I was considering a midlife career change into teaching - but reading here was invaluable in helping me decide not to pursue that path. Thanks, teachers and parents of DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suggest therapy. This type of thinking isn’t making you feel good and you might benefit from counseling to overcome it.

I will add this as gently as I can. Your kids may not want children due how they were parented.

I had a mentally ill mother and she was mostly terrible. For years, I had no desire for kids because I didn’t want to pass on the trauma and illness.

Only after many years did I have children and only after I had kids did my older sister start to have kids.

So you might start by examining yourself.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be devastated if my child didn't have kids. While I'd love to have them for my own selfish wants, I'd be more worried about how lonely it would be for DC in old age.

Please don’t project these worries on to your child.

Mind your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be devastated if my child didn't have kids. While I'd love to have them for my own selfish wants, I'd be more worried about how lonely it would be for DC in old age.

Please don’t project these worries on to your child.

Mind your business.

If you don’t want people’s opinions, don’t post on a public forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be devastated if my child didn't have kids. While I'd love to have them for my own selfish wants, I'd be more worried about how lonely it would be for DC in old age.

Please don’t project these worries on to your child.

Mind your business.

If you don’t want people’s opinions, don’t post on a public forum.

I didn't ask for your opinion. I responded to the OP. And, frankly, the PP made a lot of assumptions and was preachy. It was unnecessary. As is your comment.

[Anonymous]

You are going to get blamed. Trust me. My friend was party person who did not want kids.

He retired early as planned at 48 and bored silly as no one to hang out with. He argued with wife she should have not listened to him and just got pregnant. Now in retirement they will be all alone.

He went back to work and was taking boat out and she did not want to go. He argued again and she said I should have just listened to your mom.

He goes what? She goes your mom I talked to about this as I kinda might want kids. She said my son is stupid, just skip birth control and have a kid once here he will love it.

He then at 52 got on phone yelling at mother age should have pushed harder.
He is turning 60 now and they sit alone in an empty house now that both retired.

I find it rarely two people don’t want kids. My this one person who pushes other on the fence into it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are going to get blamed. Trust me. My friend was party person who did not want kids.

He retired early as planned at 48 and bored silly as no one to hang out with. He argued with wife she should have not listened to him and just got pregnant. Now in retirement they will be all alone.

He went back to work and was taking boat out and she did not want to go. He argued again and she said I should have just listened to your mom.

He goes what? She goes your mom I talked to about this as I kinda might want kids. She said my son is stupid, just skip birth control and have a kid once here he will love it.

He then at 52 got on phone yelling at mother age should have pushed harder.
He is turning 60 now and they sit alone in an empty house now that both retired.

I find it rarely two people don’t want kids. My this one person who pushes other on the fence into it

That looked like it was written by AI.

[Anonymous]

Well in case it wasn't, the universe thanks them for not having kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD has said she was a teen that she didn't want kids. Ha-ha ok you will change your mind is what everyone always told her. No, she's never wavered. She's in her late 20s and has been married for 3 years now (with her husband for 8 years total). She just told me that she found a doctor who was willing to do a tubal ligation so she could be done with birth control. It felt like a gut punch when she told me.

DS is in his early 30s and is getting married this fall. He's been with his fiancée for 4 years and they too have told us they have zero desire for kids. I thought for sure they would have kids as she's an elementary teacher and works at a kids camp in the summer.

How do I get over these feelings of failure? I know I raised great kids but at the same time, I feel like both are being selfish and it makes me angry. Is this something therapy helps with?

The white race is checking out. Leaving earth. Things are on the verge of collapse and the anti-Christ is coming.