Hiroshima in the morning?

[Anonymous]

Has anyone read this book? It is about a married mother of two children (3 and 5 years old) who travels to Japan to do research for her book and who discovers during her time away that she really does not want to be a mother and wife anymore. Subsequently, the marriage dissolves and she is on her own path recreating her life.

I think, it is interesting, but as much as I love my career and my hobbies, I could never leave my children or my home and family. There was an interview on the Today Show with the writer of the book today and they said that during a poll 28% of women said they could see themselves leaving their children and families to rediscover themselves and recreate a new life for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Her marriage didn't "dissolve", she left her husband and children.

I think she comes across as completely self-absorbed, and admittedly never wanted to have children. Nice thing to say once you have children.

I thought 28% of the women could see themselves going away for a 6 month sabbatical--perhaps I misread that part. Either way, I'm surprised the number is that high. I guess there are a lot of people out there who are not very happy or fulfilled.

I just think that once you have children, that is your committment. You do not get to decide to go find yourself. Find yourself when they are in college, you silly cow.

[Anonymous]

What struck me was that she had never traveled outside the country prior to this trip to Japan. I am one of those slightly older moms that lived life to the absolute fullest and analyzed and over-analyzed whether I would start a family or not...and then when we decided to go forward I was so ready to devote myself (while still maintaining some outside hobbies, work, etc).

I think a lot of the dissatisfaction comes from women that just follow the mold as quickly as possible...land a husband, quickly marry and pop out the kids. They follow society's expected path blindly...never having realized that maybe there were other paths that may have suited them better.

That said- i think she is incredibly selfish and self-absorbed. I think her decision was radical and there were prob other lesser ways of dealing with it....Then again---men do what she did every single day and nobody attacks them. The kids almost always stay with the mother while the father goes about on a happy new life. For the record, I think the men are just as selfish. I don't give either sex a free pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then again---men do what she did every single day and nobody attacks them. The kids almost always stay with the mother while the father goes about on a happy new life. For the record, I think the men are just as selfish.

So true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her marriage didn't "dissolve", she left her husband and children.

I think she comes across as completely self-absorbed, and admittedly never wanted to have children. Nice thing to say once you have children.

I thought 28% of the women could see themselves going away for a 6 month sabbatical--perhaps I misread that part. Either way, I'm surprised the number is that high. I guess there are a lot of people out there who are not very happy or fulfilled.

I just think that once you have children, that is your committment. You do not get to decide to go find yourself. Find yourself when they are in college, you silly cow.

Or just very tired.

I didn't read the book / see the show, so I may be blowing smoke here. But I know my answer to this question would change depending on my sleep deprivation level. And while I'm sure I'd never *really* want to leave for 6 months, there are days where all I really want to do is go away and find a soft bed to crawl into. But after a week of actually getting sleep, waking up on my own, visiting the bathroom by myself, etc., I'm sure I'd be itching to jump right back into the fray.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What struck me was that she had never traveled outside the country prior to this trip to Japan. I am one of those slightly older moms that lived life to the absolute fullest and analyzed and over-analyzed whether I would start a family or not...and then when we decided to go forward I was so ready to devote myself (while still maintaining some outside hobbies, work, etc).

I think a lot of the dissatisfaction comes from women that just follow the mold as quickly as possible...land a husband, quickly marry and pop out the kids. They follow society's expected path blindly...never having realized that maybe there were other paths that may have suited them better.

That said- i think she is incredibly selfish and self-absorbed. I think her decision was radical and there were prob other lesser ways of dealing with it....Then again---men do what she did every single day and nobody attacks them. The kids almost always stay with the mother while the father goes about on a happy new life. For the record, I think the men are just as selfish. I don't give either sex a free pass.

partially true. I think they're selfish jackasses too, when they do it. But I do think that there are gender differences, and it's harder for me to understand how a woman can leave her children than for a man. I do think that most women have a stronger tie to their younger kids.

Her writing is pompous and overwrought, too. I just think she's generally horrid.

[Anonymous]

After watching the Today Show, I was wondering when this topic would come up. So are we all supposed to say that we think she is a horrible person and that we would never do this to our families? Let's see how many people can disagree and flame each other on this one.

[Anonymous]

Could I see myself doing it? Yes. Would I ever? No.

I do think I could be totally happy living alone again - enjoying the freedoms of being carefree. I was one of those people who married young and had children young and feel like I missed out on a lot of living. but that is MY fault - not my childrens' - and I would never walk out on them because I can't even fathom how emotionally scarring it would be for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could I see myself doing it? Yes. Would I ever? No.

I do think I could be totally happy living alone again - enjoying the freedoms of being carefree. I was one of those people who married young and had children young and feel like I missed out on a lot of living. but that is MY fault - not my childrens' - and I would never walk out on them because I can't even fathom how emotionally scarring it would be for them.

Well said...thank for your honesty.

[Anonymous]

I'm a mother of two young kids, happy and fulfilled. Would I take advantage of a great opportunity that required me to be away from my family for 6 months. Sure. Would I be happy that I was away from my family - no. Would I nevertheless enjoy and make the most of that time - yes.

[Anonymous]

I have absolutely no desire to do that, and I make sure to get enough me/fun time to keep it that way. If I were to be a SAHM, I know that is how I would feel. Thus, I have absolutely no guilt about working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a mother of two young kids, happy and fulfilled. Would I take advantage of a great opportunity that required me to be away from my family for 6 months. Sure. Would I be happy that I was away from my family - no. Would I nevertheless enjoy and make the most of that time - yes.

Maybe during their teenage years...rght now they are so juicy, cuddly and tell me they love me daily. I could never imagine walking out on them now....and I have 2 boys the same ages her boys (3 and 5) were when she packed up and left.

[Anonymous]

Well, I am a SAHM and I would not want to leave for six months. But, like someone else said, I did lots of stuff, travelled alot, etc, before I had children. And I know I will again. Maybe much of why I'm happy is that my DH is so great and is truly a co-parent. I think alot of women are essentially doing all the heavy lifting for their family, with little assistance from their spouse and that would wear so much on so many people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have absolutely no desire to do that, and I make sure to get enough me/fun time to keep it that way. If I were to be a SAHM, I know that is how I would feel. Thus, I have absolutely no guilt about working.

This is me exactly. An evening to myself now and then, a yearly solo vacation, and the occasional overseas business trip, and I am a VERY happy mama. If I didn't have any of that, well, I'd be afraid of becoming my own mom: miserable for years, until the day she walked out on us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone read this book? It is about a married mother of two children (3 and 5 years old) who travels to Japan to do research for her book and who discovers during her time away that she really does not want to be a mother and wife anymore. Subsequently, the marriage dissolves and she is on her own path recreating her life.

I think, it is interesting, but as much as I love my career and my hobbies, I could never leave my children or my home and family. There was an interview on the Today Show with the writer of the book today and they said that during a poll 28% of women said they could see themselves leaving their children and families to rediscover themselves and recreate a new life for themselves.

I read an article on MSNBC but didn't see the show - I got a completely different take. I didn't think she ever said she didn't want to be a mother anymore. She has joint custody, though her husband has primary physical custody, they all live on the same block and she sees her kids frequently. It's weird, for sure, and not a choice I would make but I don't think she said she didn't want to be a mom.