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Elementary School-Aged Kids
Should I be mad about this
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Anonymous
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My niece was here last night. My MIL was watching her here, with my kids, while the parents of both sets of kids had a night out.
My niece is 10 YO. She got a stamp of my daughters - a peace sign, about the size of a nickel - and went around my house and stamped on EVERY piece of paper hanging on my walls. Prominently located in every drawing, homework assignment, report card.... some of this stuff I have had up for years from DD #1, some of it is things like my 2 YO's handprint project at school about her family, or of a turkey on Thanksgiving, or whatever. This stuff is important to me. And I plan to save it. And I think 10 is old enough to know better. But I know I am aggravated because every time my nieces are at my house something like this happens - something of mine gets broken, or my orchid plant gets decapitated, or something like that. So I guess, once again, I have to speak to MIL to ask her to supervise the kids more carefully. My reality check with you all is - should a 10 YO know better? Thanks. |
Anonymous
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Yes, a ten year old should definitely know better. I wouldn't let her in my home unless her parents are there.
Do not scold your mother in law. She shouldn't have to watch a ten year old like a hawk. |
Anonymous
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OP, 10 years old is definitely old enough to know better. In just 2 years, at age 12, plenty of preteens are actually watching younger kids; i.e. not just responsible fpor themselves, but for younger siblings for an hour or two.
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Anonymous
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OP,
Why the focus on the MIL supervising your niece? I would talk to this girls' parents. This is serious acting out for a girl this age. I would be mad and concerned. |
Anonymous
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You know what, sometimes you do things without thinking... When I was like 14, I took a permanent marker, and because I had better penmanship than everyone else in my family, and decided to correct what I thought was bad handwriting. I wrote over 12+ years of my mom documenting mine and my brother and sister's height on the doorjamb leading to the basement. I thought it didn't look neat enough and it all needed to be in the same pen color.
My mom was IRATE. Now I realize that I was an idiot and if my daughter did that I would be upset because it erases what happened in the moment. At 14, I was thinking "But I didn't change what it said, I just made it look better." Sometimes, you can get swept up in the moment and not realize the importance of what you are altering. |
Anonymous
At 14, really? Wow. |
Anonymous
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20:55, your story says what I was thinking. 10 year olds sometimes do things without thinking. They are impulsive. They are egocentric. They are 10. They are not mini adults. I feel bad for OP. But, her niece is 10 with 10 year old behaviors, 10 year old thought processes and 10 year old impulse control. It's not like the 10 year old was trying to be hurtful - or at least not that OP has said.
The real problem here is that most of the time when it is your own 10 year old in their own environments, you can kind of anticipate the times where they will do stupidly impulsive things and you know the sounds of when you need to check. When you are a baby sitter, especially in a new/different environment, it's not so easy to anticipate the thoughtless things they might do. So, again, while I feel bad for OP, she needs to realize that she is talking about a 10 year old and she needs to adjust the reality of the things she is saving - now it will be her kid's footprints with the stamp from her niece. I'm sort of wondering if the people who responded otherwise remember being 10 and/or have spent much time with ten year olds recently. |
Anonymous
| 18:06 here. My child is a few years older than OP's niece. If my child did this, I would be concerned. I've heard lots of stories about 10 year-olds being impulsive and making mistakes but a 10 year old should know not to mark up her cousins' and aunt's papers. This child is acting out. Something's up. |
Anonymous
This is so funny and so true. |
Anonymous
| I have a 9 year old and he has a lot of friends over here all the time. Kids as early as preschool get really upset if you mess up a pice of their artwork or project or paper or worksheet. By first grade for SURE they know not to put marks on someone else's paper at school. I cannot even imagine on of my son's 8 or 9 year old friends taking a marking stamp and marking up my children's report cards, art projects, etc. I think it shows real immaturity on behalf of the 10 year old, or at least a serious lack of knowledge of social rules. "Don't mark up other people's stuff" -- to me it's the same thing as writing on the walls. |
Anonymous
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OP here, I agree that kids do all kinds of things - that's part of being a kid. But part of being a kid is learning. So I do think someone needs to tell my niece this is not appropriate.
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Anonymous
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My guess is that your niece's parents let her get away with a lot. Some people don't have many rules or don't think about what will happen when a child applies their families rules (or lack of rules) outside of the home.
Hmm...if you're close to your niece's parents, then tell them what happened. It's possible that your niece thought the stuff was junk. Still not cool, though. But like others said, sometimes kids at that age do thoughtless things. |
Anonymous
This was my thought too. And if the MIL is the grandmother of the niece, maybe she does the same thing. There's not much you can do about this except to talk to your MIL next time she watches the kids. In my experience, when parents set appropriate limits with their kids, their kids don't go to other people's houses and think that they can stamp every piece of paper in the house. They don't just assume that it's okay to get into everything. I know that 10-year-olds are impulsive but kids without clear limits set by adults don't learn to control themselves and they are taught that adults will do it for them. |
Anonymous
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"OP here, I agree that kids do all kinds of things - that's part of being a kid. But part of being a kid is learning. So I do think someone needs to tell my niece this is not appropriate."
Yes, but the problem then is whose job is it to teach the kid. I say the parents and if one of my nieces or nephews did something that upset me as much as this upsets you, I'd tell my sibling. But, that doesn't guarantee that anyone will deal with it. |
Anonymous
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From an early age kids learn that they can get away with certain things with dad and other things with mom or that grandma is a pushover, whatever. So while yes, it's the parent's job to teach her, you need to be the one to tell her that what she did hurt you. People's perceptions are different and that's part of what she needs to learn. Mom and Dad might not think it's a big deal since it isn't their stuff but you can mention it tactfully. Just a simple "You know, I'm sure you were just goofing around, but some of the things you stamped all over were things that are pretty important or sentimental to me. I'd appreciate it if you'd ask before you make any changes when you're here just to be sure it's okay."
And in the meantime, most of those stampers are water based so you might be able to dab them off or at least lighten them with a damp sponge. |