Sister is infertile/I have 3 kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe how many of you actually think a sister owes it to her sister to bear a child for her. Most of you won't get out of the way of an ambulance if it means being late for yoga.

So true! DCUMers are a crazy bunch, but the infertile ones are wild!

Woah now, don't bunch all of us infertile types together. My sister was crazy fertile with 5 kids and I couldn't conceive. I didn't freak because deep down, I didn't care if my kid was adopted or by birth but never did I ask my sister or expect her to carry my child. That is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you consider being a surrogate for her? I am surprised you haven't offered.

This is crazy.

This seems quite logical. Perhaps the sister is surprised OP couldn't care less. She is probably surprised OP has not offered.
I can't imagine being fertile and watching my sister struggle with infertility and CHOOSING not to help her.

Completely agree.

[Anonymous]

Jesus, can y'all stop asking questions about fertility? Y'all just rile up the 42 and hoping to get pregnant club and end up with threads like these.

Somebody actually posted a dead baby link. It takes all kinds to make the world turn, but that is some riff raff-inspired bullshit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you sound like you just can't wait to rub it in. The fact that you are even considering telling her you are trying shows this. I'm not going to bother giving you any advice because it's clear you enjoy rubbing it in your sister's face. If you were a more gracious person I imagine her reaction to your pregnancies would be very different.

What is OP supposed to do? Forget to tell her she had a mother niece or nephew?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you consider being a surrogate for her? I am surprised you haven't offered.

This is crazy.

This seems quite logical. Perhaps the sister is surprised OP couldn't care less. She is probably surprised OP has not offered.
I can't imagine being fertile and watching my sister struggle with infertility and CHOOSING not to help her.

Completely agree.

I can't imagine giving away a baby that I carried..

I guess some people care less about their kidd

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sister needs to grow up. Adults accept that life doesn't always give them what they want.

Don't you dare give your 4th or any child to her.

Adults also worry more about their sister's emotional suffering than about the fact that their sister pitched a fit in front of their in-laws. Or at least, adults should do that.

Sis got abusive to OP in front of the in laws. I have zero sympathy for abusers, and certainly would not give one a child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:4 kids! Sure you're not rubbing it in on purpose?

+1

Four is ridiculous these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus, can y'all stop asking questions about fertility? Y'all just rile up the 42 and hoping to get pregnant club and end up with threads like these.

Somebody actually posted a dead baby link. It takes all kinds to make the world turn, but that is some riff raff-inspired bullshit.

I had my second child at 42. He's 8 now. great kid!

no fertility issues at all!

Here's the deal. OP is not nice. There are women who can't conceive and it's very sad. Making babies like rabbits is irresponsible and rubbing salt in the wound. I'd never be a baby factory if my sister had issues. never

And I had NO problems conceiving either child at my "advanced" age. But I know I was lucky, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this what not being able to have kids does to some people? I have never seen a thread with such nutty advice.

It is not nutty to ask if OP has CONSIDERED egg donation or surrogacy. At all.

Yes, there have been some crazy responses like give her your 2nd kid (I think that was in jest, well, I hope) or you're evil for having 4 kids, but the donation/surrogacy comments are valid.

It is ABSOLUTELY nutty to expect that OP has considered surrogacy. Her own family is not even complete yet and surrogacy is not common. Her sister has many other options including hiring a real surrogate, adoption, and maybe in vitro, egg donation, sperm donation etc. You women in this thread are freaking batshit.

Ok different scenario. Your sibling needs a liver. You wouldn't even think to CONSIDER it? I'm really glad I'm not some of you pp's family. I'd take a bullet for my siblings. And if one of them was suffering I would be actively searching out ways to help them

My abusivemother needed a kidney. I did not volunteer to donate one of mine.

OP's sister is toxic. I wouldn't volunteer to give her a baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus, can y'all stop asking questions about fertility? Y'all just rile up the 42 and hoping to get pregnant club and end up with threads like these.

Somebody actually posted a dead baby link. It takes all kinds to make the world turn, but that is some riff raff-inspired bullshit.

I had my second child at 42. He's 8 now. great kid!

no fertility issues at all!

Here's the deal. OP is not nice. There are women who can't conceive and it's very sad. Making babies like rabbits is irresponsible and rubbing salt in the wound. I'd never be a baby factory if my sister had issues. never

And I had NO problems conceiving either child at my "advanced" age. But I know I was lucky, too.

That is awful. You would deprive your husband of a wanted child because your sister is a nut?

Grow up. Your priority should be your husband and the family you made, not a sister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this what not being able to have kids does to some people? I have never seen a thread with such nutty advice.

It is not nutty to ask if OP has CONSIDERED egg donation or surrogacy. At all.

Yes, there have been some crazy responses like give her your 2nd kid (I think that was in jest, well, I hope) or you're evil for having 4 kids, but the donation/surrogacy comments are valid.

It is ABSOLUTELY nutty to expect that OP has considered surrogacy. Her own family is not even complete yet and surrogacy is not common. Her sister has many other options including hiring a real surrogate, adoption, and maybe in vitro, egg donation, sperm donation etc. You women in this thread are freaking batshit.

Ok different scenario. Your sibling needs a liver. You wouldn't even think to CONSIDER it? I'm really glad I'm not some of you pp's family. I'd take a bullet for my siblings. And if one of them was suffering I would be actively searching out ways to help them

My abusivemother needed a kidney. I did not volunteer to donate one of mine.

OP's sister is toxic. I wouldn't volunteer to give her a baby

Meh, OP sounds rather toxic to me as well; at a minimum, incredibly insensitive. And all we know about the sister is from OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sister needs to grow up. Adults accept that life doesn't always give them what they want.

Don't you dare give your 4th or any child to her.

Adults also worry more about their sister's emotional suffering than about the fact that their sister pitched a fit in front of their in-laws. Or at least, adults should do that.

Sis got abusive to OP in front of the in laws. I have zero sympathy for abusers, and certainly would not give one a child

Having one total emotional meltdown after years of infertility (IMO) doesn't constitute abuse. Just a bad day. You seem like a total jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really, OP? Why do you need 4 kids?

What have you done for her lately? You sound selfish. A really crummy big sister.

Are you effing kidding me?????? Her sister's infertility - as awful as it is for the sister- cannot and SHOULD NOT dictate her family planning choices. It's ridiculous to even suggest that.

Op, you decide and proceed.. Tell or communicate your news, if and when it happens, delicately. And understand sister may withdraw for some period of time. But that is on HER not you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4 kids! Sure you're not rubbing it in on purpose?

+1

Four is ridiculous these days.

I know more than 1 family with 6. The fact is, while I would not do it, the number is a personal choice.

I would not be a surrogate for the sister. I get that it is painful. But, that is no right to act like a bitch. Would.Not.Happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you consider being a surrogate for her? I am surprised you haven't offered.

This is crazy.

This seems quite logical. Perhaps the sister is surprised OP couldn't care less. She is probably surprised OP has not offered.
I can't imagine being fertile and watching my sister struggle with infertility and CHOOSING not to help her.

Completely agree.

She has no obligation, NONE, to act as a surrogate. that you would suggest that is crazy. You are off your rocker.