The most annoying/ridiculous things about raising a baby/toddler in 2024?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is with the tiktoks of new moms over explaining absolutely everything to supposed inlaws and grandparents? If my daughter ever spoke to me in that condescending "you're an idiot" manner I'm not sure how I would respond.

I agree! My mom's a boomer and she was perfectly capable of learning to use my kids seats, she read all the instruction books, she kept up on everything. I mean she had a career and is intelligent.

Now if she had refused to do that, like my ex mother-in-law lol, that's a different story. But I wouldn't come at them preemptively with a video like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:• Instagram reels highlighting some counter cultural way to raise kids as a way to become an influencer seem to have replaced Facebook groups.
• a new parents group I was in through the hospital I delivered at had a large emphasis on the term “chest feeding” and reminding all participants that “mom” is an outdated and potentially hurtful term. (Honestly I’m pretty open minded but this group was too much for me)

Yikes that’s intense. No one is taking away “Mom” from me and my kids!

I have to admit I kind of like the alternative term “body feeding”. I know the intention was to avoid saying “breast” (even though men have breasts? I know, I’m clueless), but I like how it acknowledges how some people feed their child *from their body*, and what an amazing, holistically taxing thing that is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most annoying part?

Women losing their identity and motherhood now being this all encompassing identity.

A decade ago these same women had social lives that didn’t involve kids, jobs, hobbies and interests. Now everything is about being a mom and then will be blindsided when their kids grow up.

Was it really that recent of a change? I moved just after giving birth and realizing now that baby is nearly 1, I’ve yet to carve out space for just me.

Younger me would eye roll, but I’m gonna try to join a craft class and some yoga or bar so I can just not be mom or work-me for a minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the weirdest thing was from the moment of becoming pregnant, people in the medical field feeling entitled to call me “mom” or “mama”. I immediately shut it down in my OB practice when I switched (my original OB was older and very professional and would never have allowed it in her practice).

The baby isn’t here. You’re not treating the baby. I’m your patient and I have a first name, or you may call me Ms. Surname, but I am not “Mama” to you, and if I was, I would have raised you better.

I don't remember my OB doing this but pediatricians, teachers, and childcare providers will often do that-- just call me Mom instead of my name. I don't like it. I assume it's done to avoid having to remember it look up people's names? I find it irritating though. No one ever called my mom "Mom" except her own children, which is how it's supposed to be.

Oh and +1 when I told my mother this she was appalled. When she had her children it was considered super casual to call patients by their first names— doctors and nurses called her Mrs. _________

Mrs. isn’t as acceptable now as it was 30 years ago. Lots of women don’t have the same last name as their children so I imagine it’s really tough for these care providers. I’m a teacher and have no clue what to call a kid’s parent now. The kid might be Joe Smith and I have no clue what the mom’s last name is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the weirdest thing was from the moment of becoming pregnant, people in the medical field feeling entitled to call me “mom” or “mama”. I immediately shut it down in my OB practice when I switched (my original OB was older and very professional and would never have allowed it in her practice).

The baby isn’t here. You’re not treating the baby. I’m your patient and I have a first name, or you may call me Ms. Surname, but I am not “Mama” to you, and if I was, I would have raised you better.

It’s because you probably have a hard to pronounce name, or you’re in area with a lot of other people who have unusual or hard to pronounce names. I’m not in the medical field but am bright enough to know that, at minimum, over half of their patients in the year 2024 with unprecedented immigration are not named “George”.

[Anonymous]

I’d add a new “war” between work from home moms and moms who can’t work from home. So many moms now with jobs from home who can do things like only need a nanny for 2 hours a day or basically act like stay at home moms with pay.

Also, maternity leave- some moms get insane amounts if leave like 6 months while others still get 6 weeks if they are lucky

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious!

My babies were born in 2010 and 2012, so I'm totally out of the loop!

For a blast from the past, here's what I remember rolling my eyes at a decade+ ago:

-New mom Facebook groups with names like "The private AWESOME mommy group <3"
-Packs of moms in yoga pants doing exercises with their strollers at places like the Mosaic District
-Strollers as status symbols (suspect this is still the name!)
-Grimey mall play areas being the #1 toddler attraction
-Mommy and me movies where people still shushed you if your baby was being loud
-Unsolicited advice from strangers at Target about your feeding choice, regardless of whether it was bottle or breast
-Competition from other moms about who could breastfeed the longest (especially without supplementing)

I’m GenX kids born 5-7 years before yours and most of these things were around although Facebook took off later. The bugaboo was a thing. We did buy a MacLaren. Play areas in mall were there and grimy. Mommy and me things were a thing. Unsolicited advice in Target was a thing, yoga was a thing with babies. Breastfeeding was a thing.

The things that are different are COVID and daycare policies, more remote from home options and risk from measles from anti vaxxers,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:• Instagram reels highlighting some counter cultural way to raise kids as a way to become an influencer seem to have replaced Facebook groups.
• a new parents group I was in through the hospital I delivered at had a large emphasis on the term “chest feeding” and reminding all participants that “mom” is an outdated and potentially hurtful term. (Honestly I’m pretty open minded but this group was too much for me)

Omg, this! Men truly can’t let us have anything for ourselves.

I hate chest feeding and birthing parent. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

I’m a millennial with kids born in 2015 and 2021. I think gentle parenting is the absolute worst thing to happen to millennial parents, and I say that as someone who tries to parent my kids with respect, minimal yelling, naming and acknowledging feelings, etc.

I get that we were all traumatized by our boomer parents but these kids never hear the word no or have any sort of boundaries or consequences. It’s not gentle, it’s just permissive and lazy parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the weirdest thing was from the moment of becoming pregnant, people in the medical field feeling entitled to call me “mom” or “mama”. I immediately shut it down in my OB practice when I switched (my original OB was older and very professional and would never have allowed it in her practice).

The baby isn’t here. You’re not treating the baby. I’m your patient and I have a first name, or you may call me Ms. Surname, but I am not “Mama” to you, and if I was, I would have raised you better.

It’s because you probably have a hard to pronounce name, or you’re in area with a lot of other people who have unusual or hard to pronounce names. I’m not in the medical field but am bright enough to know that, at minimum, over half of their patients in the year 2024 with unprecedented immigration are not named “George”.

Nope, I have an easy phonetic name.

And a medical professional who can pronounce cholestasis and episiotomy can be expected to ask a patient with a non-phonetic name how to correctly pronounce it. Do you think when men with “hard to pronounce” names show up in the doctors office the nurse calls them “dad”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the weirdest thing was from the moment of becoming pregnant, people in the medical field feeling entitled to call me “mom” or “mama”. I immediately shut it down in my OB practice when I switched (my original OB was older and very professional and would never have allowed it in her practice).

The baby isn’t here. You’re not treating the baby. I’m your patient and I have a first name, or you may call me Ms. Surname, but I am not “Mama” to you, and if I was, I would have raised you better.

I don't remember my OB doing this but pediatricians, teachers, and childcare providers will often do that-- just call me Mom instead of my name. I don't like it. I assume it's done to avoid having to remember it look up people's names? I find it irritating though. No one ever called my mom "Mom" except her own children, which is how it's supposed to be.

Oh and +1 when I told my mother this she was appalled. When she had her children it was considered super casual to call patients by their first names— doctors and nurses called her Mrs. _________

Mrs. isn’t as acceptable now as it was 30 years ago. Lots of women don’t have the same last name as their children so I imagine it’s really tough for these care providers. I’m a teacher and have no clue what to call a kid’s parent now. The kid might be Joe Smith and I have no clue what the mom’s last name is.

If you’re a patient in OB it doesn’t matter a flying fig what your child’s last name is— they’re not participating in medical appointments.

And when I fill out forms for school I list my name and my daughter’s name (they happen to be the same) so teachers absolutely have access to this information. And if it’s really a mystery? Say “please call me Jane” at the start of your conference and then “what would you like me to call you?”

Because I promise if you call me “mom”
I will think significantly less of your professionalism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the weirdest thing was from the moment of becoming pregnant, people in the medical field feeling entitled to call me “mom” or “mama”. I immediately shut it down in my OB practice when I switched (my original OB was older and very professional and would never have allowed it in her practice).

The baby isn’t here. You’re not treating the baby. I’m your patient and I have a first name, or you may call me Ms. Surname, but I am not “Mama” to you, and if I was, I would have raised you better.

I don't remember my OB doing this but pediatricians, teachers, and childcare providers will often do that-- just call me Mom instead of my name. I don't like it. I assume it's done to avoid having to remember it look up people's names? I find it irritating though. No one ever called my mom "Mom" except her own children, which is how it's supposed to be.

Oh and +1 when I told my mother this she was appalled. When she had her children it was considered super casual to call patients by their first names— doctors and nurses called her Mrs. _________

Mrs. isn’t as acceptable now as it was 30 years ago. Lots of women don’t have the same last name as their children so I imagine it’s really tough for these care providers. I’m a teacher and have no clue what to call a kid’s parent now. The kid might be Joe Smith and I have no clue what the mom’s last name is.

If you’re a patient in OB it doesn’t matter a flying fig what your child’s last name is— they’re not participating in medical appointments.

And when I fill out forms for school I list my name and my daughter’s name (they happen to be the same) so teachers absolutely have access to this information. And if it’s really a mystery? Say “please call me Jane” at the start of your conference and then “what would you like me to call you?”

Because I promise if you call me “mom”
I will think significantly less of your professionalism.

I don’t call parents mom. I actually just don’t call them anything at all. I have 125 students. I can’t remember your name when I have 35 conferences in a row and I’ve never met any of the parents. Think less of me all you want. I’m also trying not to gender anyone since that is now something many kids have changed. So not calling you Mrs. or Ms. or anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the weirdest thing was from the moment of becoming pregnant, people in the medical field feeling entitled to call me “mom” or “mama”. I immediately shut it down in my OB practice when I switched (my original OB was older and very professional and would never have allowed it in her practice).

The baby isn’t here. You’re not treating the baby. I’m your patient and I have a first name, or you may call me Ms. Surname, but I am not “Mama” to you, and if I was, I would have raised you better.

I don't remember my OB doing this but pediatricians, teachers, and childcare providers will often do that-- just call me Mom instead of my name. I don't like it. I assume it's done to avoid having to remember it look up people's names? I find it irritating though. No one ever called my mom "Mom" except her own children, which is how it's supposed to be.

Oh and +1 when I told my mother this she was appalled. When she had her children it was considered super casual to call patients by their first names— doctors and nurses called her Mrs. _________

Mrs. isn’t as acceptable now as it was 30 years ago. Lots of women don’t have the same last name as their children so I imagine it’s really tough for these care providers. I’m a teacher and have no clue what to call a kid’s parent now. The kid might be Joe Smith and I have no clue what the mom’s last name is.

If you’re a patient in OB it doesn’t matter a flying fig what your child’s last name is— they’re not participating in medical appointments.

And when I fill out forms for school I list my name and my daughter’s name (they happen to be the same) so teachers absolutely have access to this information. And if it’s really a mystery? Say “please call me Jane” at the start of your conference and then “what would you like me to call you?”

Because I promise if you call me “mom”
I will think significantly less of your professionalism.

I don’t call parents mom. I actually just don’t call them anything at all. I have 125 students. I can’t remember your name when I have 35 conferences in a row and I’ve never met any of the parents. Think less of me all you want. I’m also trying not to gender anyone since that is now something many kids have changed. So not calling you Mrs. or Ms. or anything.

Then do what every other professional dealing with adults does: ask what the adult wishes to be called.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is with the tiktoks of new moms over explaining absolutely everything to supposed inlaws and grandparents? If my daughter ever spoke to me in that condescending "you're an idiot" manner I'm not sure how I would respond.

So the way I handled it with my Boomer parents is acknowledging that technology has changed in the 35 years since they had had small children (like we have a picture of baby me sitting in the car seat and it literally looks like a bucket with straps on it) and then the 30 years when they were babies and car seats did not exist.


The first time they watched her overnight I gave them an extremely elaborate schedule. They thought it was doing too much and just took her to the zoo and then learned the hard way what happens when a 17-month-old doesn't get her scheduled naps and snacks and has a cranky
meltdown

I am clearly older than you are. My oldest could have been in one of those plastic buckets. Your parents are boomers?

I didn't need to explain the car seat to my boomer parents. They managed it just fine. Changes in feeding - no problem. The only one I explained anything to was my Grandma. She thought he should be fed on a schedule with water in between, and car seats were cruel.

I hope new parents aren't actually doing these long, drawn out explanations. That's just as annoying as someone 40+ talking about how they raised their kids. (It seems like anyone over 40 is now a boomer)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the weirdest thing was from the moment of becoming pregnant, people in the medical field feeling entitled to call me “mom” or “mama”. I immediately shut it down in my OB practice when I switched (my original OB was older and very professional and would never have allowed it in her practice).

The baby isn’t here. You’re not treating the baby. I’m your patient and I have a first name, or you may call me Ms. Surname, but I am not “Mama” to you, and if I was, I would have raised you better.

It’s because you probably have a hard to pronounce name, or you’re in area with a lot of other people who have unusual or hard to pronounce names. I’m not in the medical field but am bright enough to know that, at minimum, over half of their patients in the year 2024 with unprecedented immigration are not named “George”.

Nope, I have an easy phonetic name.

And a medical professional who can pronounce cholestasis and episiotomy can be expected to ask a patient with a non-phonetic name how to correctly pronounce it. Do you think when men with “hard to pronounce” names show up in the doctors office the nurse calls them “dad”?

Tell me you’re not in the medical profession without telling me. You would be sued in 2 seconds flat.