Academically challenging but socially supportive school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:22:39 wrote in part (numbers inserted for clarity):

"They likely opposed it because the kids spend all day in adult directed activities and [1] kids need time to be in kid directed only activities. And yes, what you are describing is a teacher led activity. [2] Other parents would not be happy with this."

I agree with point one above generally, but disagree that this precludes having an adult facilitated option at what is finally becoming more recognized as the most challenging time of the school day for many elementary age children. I would actually argue that in small privates it is even more important to offer a structured alternative than in a larger public because in the former it is harder to escape majority social pressure than in a larger class. An adult facilitated option helps younger kids who don't follow the majority to either resist social pressure, or provide a cushion against their feeling totally ostracized. It also provides eyes on to prevent bullying and similar undesirable behaviors. More pragmatically, it encourages the existence of a smaller social group alternative to a majority activity. This will be unnecessary as kids get older and attend schools with larger classes, and some kids may be fine with unstructured time with peers in a different setting after school. Academically strong students may be able to do this perfectly well with similar peers during the class room day as well.

The presumption that all kids need breaks with no adult guidance during recess or lunch is itself an opinion that assumes what is good for some kids is necessarily good for all or almost all kids. That is an example of the sort of ideological presumption that I believe OP needs to be careful to avoid. As for point 2, I can't imagine a parent having a valid objection that their child has the option to do something entirely without an adult or to do something adult facilitated. What would it be? That before there was an alternative we had better soccer games because more kids played unsupervised even though it now is clear some of them wanted to be doing something else?

It is good for all kids. It fosters independence and helps kids practices and gain the skills that adults are teaching. All kids do need time to be involved only in kid directed activities whether it is playing by themselves or playing with other kids. If a kid can not ever get to a point where they can play with other kids without adult involvement, than that speaks to a real issue going on with the child.

I think what is slightly changing is that teachers and schools are not being as blase about concerns raised by kids on the playground to the adults who are monitoring the playground. Instead of just brushing it off or telling kids to get over it or play with someone else, there is more of a shift to assisting kids with conflict resolution but I haven't seen any move towards teacher involvement at the level of playing directly with the kids.

And as I posted before, it's important when selecting a small private school for an older child that parents go in and really check out the class that their child will join. Look at the personalities of the kids in the class, look at how the kids interact with each other and adults, ask how many kids have been there for years, ask how much turn over there is in the classes, ask where most kids live geographically, and not just go and observe a nice quiet class listening to a teacher. Really think if their child could meld in with the group. I know I looked at a couple schools I loved but when I observed the classes my child would be joining, I knew it would not be a good fit. Private school can't just be a desperate grab to fix a shy child's social issues because it can actually make it worse.

[Anonymous]

Barnesville has a strong emphasis on a supportive social environment, and in the lower grades definitely spends classroom time on social conduct. I wouldn't say that they have organized games at recess so much but the teachers who work recess do make sure the kids have opportunities to be included in play, plus there are other activities throughout the school day that could be described as structured group recreation.

And the academics are very strong; we've been very pleased with them and the graduates (it's K-8) get good placements.

If you're in NW DC it's undoubtedly too far for you, or in Bethesda (excepting North Bethesda past the beltway). You could probably do it if you're out that far or further, as the commute is against rush hour traffic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Barnesville has a strong emphasis on a supportive social environment, and in the lower grades definitely spends classroom time on social conduct. I wouldn't say that they have organized games at recess so much but the teachers who work recess do make sure the kids have opportunities to be included in play, plus there are other activities throughout the school day that could be described as structured group recreation.

And the academics are very strong; we've been very pleased with them and the graduates (it's K-8) get good placements.

If you're in NW DC it's undoubtedly too far for you, or in Bethesda (excepting North Bethesda past the beltway). You could probably do it if you're out that far or further, as the commute is against rush hour traffic.

For what it's worth, we're at Barnesville precisely because of the goal of combining challenging academics with social supportiveness. We couldn't be happier with it.

[Anonymous]

I do not remember, after 12 years of public school, teachers organizing games and activities during recess or lunch. I remember being taught the rules to Mother May I? By a teacher, and I remember teachers letting certain kids be helpers, and teachers trying to integrate kids having some difficulty. But teachers never ran playground activities. How will children ever figure out how to get along with others if they don't try? Teachers can work to help kids having difficulties, but to fully structure every activity is to deaden the mind and stunt social development .

[Anonymous]

My child is at Lowell and I think that you should take a look at it, OP. It might be a great fit. In fact, just the other week the social counselor for grades 3 to 8 had a meeting for all interested parents to learn more about the social and emotional program for the kids in Third Grade. She actually mentioned that she may start doing some organized cooperative games with kids who want to participate during recess. This would be optional, of course, but a great idea in my opinion. I think you should call Liz Yee, the Admissions Director, and speak with her about what you are looking for in a new school.

[Anonymous]

Check out basis independent McLean. Their head of school is a great person. I met him at one if their events. My kid is going to a teacher demo day so they can meet future classmates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any recommendations for an academically challenging school but one that is socially supportive? My 3d grade DS is very shy and is not comfortable socially at his current school. He was fine last year, but he's been seriously unhappy all year this year. I'm not at the point where I'm ready to move him yet, but want to start thinking about what the alternatives are. I'm looking for a place that has some structured social activities, e.g., at recess, and a good social curriculum. We're in the Bethesda/NW DC area. Thanks in advance!

OP, if Rockville is an option, look into Christ Episcopal School. I have seen shy kids (including mine) open up when they start at CES with its small class sizes and generally supportive and friendly community of students, teachers and administrators. I don't think their recess is "structured" as you say, but they do have PE every day. And they have very good art and music programs and strong academics. We've been very happy there. It's worth a look. www.cesrockville.org

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any recommendations for an academically challenging school but one that is socially supportive? My 3d grade DS is very shy and is not comfortable socially at his current school. He was fine last year, but he's been seriously unhappy all year this year. I'm not at the point where I'm ready to move him yet, but want to start thinking about what the alternatives are. I'm looking for a place that has some structured social activities, e.g., at recess, and a good social curriculum. We're in the Bethesda/NW DC area. Thanks in advance!

OP, if Rockville is an option, look into Christ Episcopal School. I have seen shy kids (including mine) open up when they start at CES with its small class sizes and generally supportive and friendly community of students, teachers and administrators. I don't think their recess is "structured" as you say, but they do have PE every day. And they have very good art and music programs and strong academics. We've been very happy there. It's worth a look. www.cesrockville.org

Do the kids get driven to PE elsewhere? I seem to recall this on tour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any recommendations for an academically challenging school but one that is socially supportive? My 3d grade DS is very shy and is not comfortable socially at his current school. He was fine last year, but he's been seriously unhappy all year this year. I'm not at the point where I'm ready to move him yet, but want to start thinking about what the alternatives are. I'm looking for a place that has some structured social activities, e.g., at recess, and a good social curriculum. We're in the Bethesda/NW DC area. Thanks in advance!

OP, if Rockville is an option, look into Christ Episcopal School. I have seen shy kids (including mine) open up when they start at CES with its small class sizes and generally supportive and friendly community of students, teachers and administrators. I don't think their recess is "structured" as you say, but they do have PE every day. And they have very good art and music programs and strong academics. We've been very happy there. It's worth a look. www.cesrockville.org

Do the kids get driven to PE elsewhere? I seem to recall this on tour.

Just the older kids (I think 7th and 8th graders) and not sure they do every day. The younger ones generally stay for PE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any recommendations for an academically challenging school but one that is socially supportive? My 3d grade DS is very shy and is not comfortable socially at his current school. He was fine last year, but he's been seriously unhappy all year this year. I'm not at the point where I'm ready to move him yet, but want to start thinking about what the alternatives are. I'm looking for a place that has some structured social activities, e.g., at recess, and a good social curriculum. We're in the Bethesda/NW DC area. Thanks in advance!

OP, if Rockville is an option, look into Christ Episcopal School. I have seen shy kids (including mine) open up when they start at CES with its small class sizes and generally supportive and friendly community of students, teachers and administrators. I don't think their recess is "structured" as you say, but they do have PE every day. And they have very good art and music programs and strong academics. We've been very happy there. It's worth a look. www.cesrockville.org

Do the kids get driven to PE elsewhere? I seem to recall this on tour.

Just the older kids (I think 7th and 8th graders) and not sure they do every day. The younger ones generally stay for PE.

They start doing PE off campus one or two days a week in 4th grade.