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Reply to "Academically challenging but socially supportive school?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]22:39 wrote in part (numbers inserted for clarity): "They likely opposed it because the kids spend all day in adult directed activities and [1] kids need time to be in kid directed only activities. And yes, what you are describing is a teacher led activity. [2] Other parents would not be happy with this." I agree with point one above generally, but disagree that this precludes having an adult facilitated option at what is finally becoming more recognized as the most challenging time of the school day for many elementary age children. I would actually argue that in small privates it is even more important to offer a structured alternative than in a larger public because in the former it is harder to escape majority social pressure than in a larger class. [b]An adult facilitated option helps younger kids who don't follow the majority to either resist social pressure, or provide a cushion against their feeling totally ostracized.[/b] It also provides eyes on to prevent bullying and similar undesirable behaviors. More pragmatically, it encourages the existence of a smaller social group alternative to a majority activity. This will be unnecessary as kids get older and attend schools with larger classes, and some kids may be fine with unstructured time with peers in a different setting after school. Academically strong students may be able to do this perfectly well with similar peers during the class room day as well. [b]The presumption that all kids need breaks with no adult guidance during recess or lunch is itself an opinion that assumes what is good for some kids is necessarily good for all or almost all kids.[/b] That is an example of the sort of ideological presumption that I believe OP needs to be careful to avoid. As for point 2, I can't imagine a parent having a valid objection that their child has the option to do something entirely without an adult or to do something adult facilitated. What would it be? That before there was an alternative we had better soccer games because more kids played unsupervised even though it now is clear some of them wanted to be doing something else? [/quote] It is good for all kids. It fosters independence and helps kids practices and gain the skills that adults are teaching. All kids do need time to be involved only in kid directed activities whether it is playing by themselves or playing with other kids. If a kid can not ever get to a point where they can play with other kids without adult involvement, than that speaks to a real issue going on with the child. I think what is slightly changing is that teachers and schools are not being as blase about concerns raised by kids on the playground to the adults who are monitoring the playground. Instead of just brushing it off or telling kids to get over it or play with someone else, there is more of a shift to assisting kids with conflict resolution but I haven't seen any move towards teacher involvement at the level of playing directly with the kids. And as I posted before, it's important when selecting a small private school for an older child that parents go in and really check out the class that their child will join. Look at the personalities of the kids in the class, look at how the kids interact with each other and adults, ask how many kids have been there for years, ask how much turn over there is in the classes, ask where most kids live geographically, and not just go and observe a nice quiet class listening to a teacher. Really think if their child could meld in with the group. I know I looked at a couple schools I loved but when I observed the classes my child would be joining, I knew it would not be a good fit. Private school can't just be a desperate grab to fix a shy child's social issues because it can actually make it worse.[/quote]
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