Have you ever gotten a DUI/DWI?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many people have them, back before madd about 60% of males have gotten caught but you don't about it because they used to just let you walk home. Now a days they have gone overboard. Don't sweat it, get through it, don't get one again and in the future call a cab.

I am a PP and I was supportive of OP but I do not think they have gone overboard.
DH's close family member was killed by a drunk driver, her small children were left without a mother.
There were headlines on CNN in the last couple months about drunk drivers killing up to 5-6 people in a single wreck, and I was sick to my stomach reading about it. Intake drunk driving very, very seriously and believe people need to face the legal consequences of their actions.
So I would never tell OP "don't worry about it". That being said, she is human, she was vulnerable, there is nobody who foes not have mistakes in their past that they wish they could erase, and she can use this experience as a catalyst to move forward and manage her stress in healthier ways. She CAN move forward and make better choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Driving while drinking isn't a mistake. It is a crime.

It is the same as playing Russian Roulette but with a car rather than a gun.

I would say get into therapy. If while stressed by life circumstances your response is to have reckless disregard for you own life and the life of others, then therapy might help you sort out why potentially killing someone was a risk you were willing to take.

I also second getting into AA or some kind of alcohol treatment program. Again when your drinking is impairing your functioning to the point that you are driving dangerously and putting others lives at risk - it is time to get help.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many people have them, back before madd about 60% of males have gotten caught but you don't about it because they used to just let you walk home. Now a days they have gone overboard. Don't sweat it, get through it, don't get one again and in the future call a cab.

I am a PP and I was supportive of OP but I do not think they have gone overboard.
DH's close family member was killed by a drunk driver, her small children were left without a mother.
There were headlines on CNN in the last couple months about drunk drivers killing up to 5-6 people in a single wreck, and I was sick to my stomach reading about it. Intake drunk driving very, very seriously and believe people need to face the legal consequences of their actions.
So I would never tell OP "don't worry about it". That being said, she is human, she was vulnerable, there is nobody who foes not have mistakes in their past that they wish they could erase, and she can use this experience as a catalyst to move forward and manage her stress in healthier ways. She CAN move forward and make better choices.

PP here - but she CANNOT drink and drive again. EVER.

[Anonymous]

Yes in my twenties. I didn't have a drinking problem but I'd never hesitated to drive home after a drink or two. I was pulled over for making a right on red when there was a sign saying not to and they must have smelled it. I was with y then husband who had no problem letting me take the wheel. Now divorced...

I went through the mandated classes. Like I said I don't think I had a drinkin problem but certainly shouldn't have been driving. It all sucked and I completely know what you mean about hitting rock bottom.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I am PP, not trying to sock puppet but obviously I have a lot strong feelings about this issue. Most of us here have children who we drive with each day, so the idea of "don't sweat it" really burns me up.

[Anonymous]

I drive around with my kids every day, too. I definitely have no sympathy for people who drive around impaired - there is no excuse for that. None.

Certainly not giving the Op a pass on the DUI. He/she needs to learn from this and NEVER do that again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am PP, not trying to sock puppet but obviously I have a lot strong feelings about this issue. Most of us here have children who we drive with each day, so the idea of "don't sweat it" really burns me up.

I feel the same way, especially since 2 of my uncles were killed by drunk drivers. I have a lot of shit going on in my life, but I will NOT drink and drive ever. OP, I am very sorry, you are going through a lot. You can't change what you did, but I hope that you will never again drink and drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am PP, not trying to sock puppet but obviously I have a lot strong feelings about this issue. Most of us here have children who we drive with each day, so the idea of "don't sweat it" really burns me up.

Nobody is saying "don't sweat it." But OP can't go back and change the past, and luckily she didn't hurt anyone. If she never does it again and she can prevent someone else from doing it in the future, what more can you really do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am PP, not trying to sock puppet but obviously I have a lot strong feelings about this issue. Most of us here have children who we drive with each day, so the idea of "don't sweat it" really burns me up.

Nobody is saying "don't sweat it." But OP can't go back and change the past, and luckily she didn't hurt anyone. If she never does it again and she can prevent someone else from doing it in the future, what more can you really do?

The vast majority of people who get caught DUI have driven drunk dozens of times before. Despite the fact that almost every person claims that they got caught the first time - it isn't true, they were just unlucky that time and got caught. And to have a crisis of conscience only over getting caught (and not over the fact they have driven after drinking multiple times before) shows that what they feel bad about is the consequence, not the action. They feel embarrassed they were caught. While it would be great if that embarrassment was sufficient to make people never drive after drinking again - it isn't. The embarrassment wears off with time and many go on to drink and drive again and a percentage of those will get caught and get another DUI. No one can go back and change the past about anything so that is a pretty useless statement. Figuring out why you did the actions you did (when they endangered others)and why you didn't feel badly about it until you were caught is the important part to preventing it happening again.

[Anonymous]

Far more people die of traffic accidents. DWI is bad but the hype behind it is overboard in relation to actual deaths and injuries.

[Anonymous]

OP, I did when I was 18. In my case, I was a college freshman, going crazy with newfound freedom, and really didn't know how to manage it. I was learning my limits wrt alcohol and many other things, and found this limit the hard way.

In my case, the actual DWI turned out up a blessing in disguise. It was a HUGE wake-up call, and stopped me in my tracks - I am eternally grateful that it convinced me to change my ways before I hurt anyone. Yes, the consequences of the DWI sucked - but I fully deserved them, and more importantly they had the intended impact: I faced my drinking head-on, cut way back on the binge drinking, and never again drank and drove. It's been over 15 years; I'm still a social drinker (couple of glasses of wine a month on average) but have never again come even close to an alcohol-related legal incident.

Long-term impacts are minimal; I still have to report it on most job applications, security clearance applications, etc - but it has never caused an issue. Let this be your rock bottom, attack the issues head-on, get the help you need with depression, alcohol dependence or anything else, and history will judge you more on your response to this event than on the fact that you got there in the first place. Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

I'd focus on the fact that you didn't kill/maim anyone, including yourself. THAT would be rock bottom. Not this.

[Anonymous]

Can you imagine how you would feel if you made a mother watch her child die? made someone a quadriplegic? made a family of orphans? Caused someone to be permanently disfigured? How could you look these people in the eye? How could you live with yourself! PLEASE, do not drink and drive. If you've drunk too much, call a cab, call a friend, stay the night and sober up. Do not make someone else pay for your bad decision!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you imagine how you would feel if you made a mother watch her child die? made someone a quadriplegic? made a family of orphans? Caused someone to be permanently disfigured? How could you look these people in the eye? How could you live with yourself! PLEASE, do not drink and drive. If you've drunk too much, call a cab, call a friend, stay the night and sober up. Do not make someone else pay for your bad decision!

I agree, once you kill someone the reasons "why" you drank and got behind the wheel are meaningless.

[Anonymous]

No. You drank and drove because you were sad about a friend's death? But didn't you think about that you might be causing the death of someone ELSE'S friend?

If I'm going to drink, I make a safe plan for getting home.