20 month old who hardly eats anything- SO picky- advice? HELP.

[Anonymous]

my son is now almost 5, but we went through a period like this. If he refused to eat what the family was eating, he would get a yogurt before bed and thats it. The important thing is how many calories they get a week so day to day variation is not that critical. Also try to get them to eat soups. You can put anything in the soup and they will eat it. From very early age I made soups for my picky eater and was able to sneak all kinds of goodies into it. He is now almost 5, and soup is still his favorite meal.

[Anonymous]

My dd only ate yogurt, steamed broccoli, eggs, noodles until 24 months. No water, no whole milk (2-40unces tops).
Now at 5 eats an excellent diet. She has always had boatloads of energy and physical development wasn't an issue. She only ate what I expect most babies eat in a day.
There was nothing I could do and wish I just let it go And not stressed a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD after 13M decided to be uber picky and the whole strategy of putting a variety of foods in front of her and the option of if she doesn't eat she'll be hungry and then eat is a joke. PP - She went 24 hrs without eating one day - was I supposed to starve her for another? That's a stupid tactic that doesn't work with all kids. With food, you gotta work with the kid. In matters of health I would not compromise as long as what she will eat is healthy. May suck for me to cater to her but I'm not having her sick.

You see, here is the misconception that so many parents have. Your child will not starve. You are offering food but your child is choosing not to eat. If you continue to offer food, when she gets hungry enough, she will eat. My one son eats virtually nothing when he is sick. The last time he was sick he ate almost nothing for 2.5 days and lost 2 lbs (he's only 28 lbs). Imagine what it's like to lose 10% of your weight. But when he started to eat again, he ate more than normal for a couple of days and gained that weight back. If you have a picky eater, you continue to offer foods and yes, she may go 24 or 36 hours without eating, but she'll be fine. When the hunger gets to her enough, she'll eat what is offered. Just make sure to give her water so that she doesn't get dehydrated. With hydration, 24-48 hours without food is not going to make her sick, but eventually she'll pick something to eat from what is offered. On the other hand, if you are happy to be a caterer and to deal with her issues when you go to someone's house who has not cooked something she'll eat or when you go to a restaurant that doesn't have something she'll eat, then fine, but don't complain about having a picky eater and don't inconvenience others by making them short-order cook other foods, or have to move an event to someplace that has food she'll eat. You choose to allow your child to be a picky eater, so you can live with it. Just don't make others have to deal with it.

[Anonymous]

13:38 - actually what i liked about the book was the explanation on how much she really needed to eat of things like vegetables and meats to be nutritionally sound - made me realize we were doing better than I thought - then she advocates bread to reach the rest of the calories count and bread/bagels is always a happy meal for my DD.

[Anonymous]

Op here: the problem with offering her a few things she likes and just a bunch of things all at once, is if I offer chicken nuggets, green beans, and melon, she will eat the melon. and that's it. i usually give melon last for that reason because once she has it there's no WAY she's touching anything else. but if i offer chicken nuggets and green beans, she may just refuse the whole meal and that's when I end up taking out the fruit and yogurt

[Anonymous]

Don't sweat it -- their growth slows down a lot by the age of two, so picky might really just mean not that hungry. My eldest is super picky even as a four year old, her brother is not picky at all. Both go through weeks where it seems like they eat nothing. Then they go through weeks where they will eat anything put in front of them. As long as your child is still growing and meeting milestones, just give them food and don't worry how much they eat. I know easier said than done!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here: the problem with offering her a few things she likes and just a bunch of things all at once, is if I offer chicken nuggets, green beans, and melon, she will eat the melon. and that's it. i usually give melon last for that reason because once she has it there's no WAY she's touching anything else. but if i offer chicken nuggets and green beans, she may just refuse the whole meal and that's when I end up taking out the fruit and yogurt

Ok, so you offer chicken nuggets, green beans, and melon, and she eats the melon, and she's done. So...?

Or, you just offer chicken nuggets and green beans, and she doesn't want to eat them, so she's done. And...?

She is not going to starve.

(And if she eats eggs and yogurt, she is getting plenty of protein.)

Also, OP, I agree about eating with her. Eating is a social occasion. How would you feel about eating if eating consisted of somebody serving you food and watching you eat it?

[Anonymous]

OP, I seriously had to re-read your post to make sure I didn't write it. Except for the fact that mine is a boy and he is 23 months, everything else is exactly like you describe. He went through phases of eating almost anything I put in front of him, but that stopped at about 14 months. Since then it's been crackers, milk, yogurt pouches, cereal sometimes and fruit. Out of desperation I even buy him McDonalds chicken nuggets, but he just eats the french fries. No pizza, no mac&cheese, no pasta, no rice or potatoes. He hasn't had a green veggie since we stopped the baby food. He does eat omelet, tiny pieces of cheese quesadilla and these stir-fried asian noodles I found at Costco.

He is growing so his doctor so far has always said to just keep offering and that his diet isn't so bad. And he does get offered a huge variety, not because I cook so much, but I still have him signed up for the food plan at his daycare and they have a pretty good menu. Every day I read the report and it always says he ate "very little" at lunch. But his 2 yr appointment is coming up and I am going to look for some more help - I am planning on ruling out any other issues and then doing the "eat what's in front of you or go hungry" thing. I am just waiting for him to grow a little more because I can't stand him crying over this. I am hoping to reason with him eventually

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why cater to the kids preferences so much? Just make a meal for the family and sit down to eat it together. If the kid throws the food, then the meal is over. If they eat, then fine. If not, then also fine. At the next meal they will be hungry and maybe more willing to try something. Or the next meal. By 20 months, there is no reason to be giving purees or any other special "kid" foods. When the kids understand that those items are no longer on the menu and that there will be no special fussing about what they eat or don't' eat, they will manage to eat what they need to grow and thrive.

And people like to say its all ok unless they go off their growth curve. That often seems wrong to me. One of my kids was 95th percentile for weight at birth. I am sure glad he gradually adjusted down in the growth chart curve, since its not the best health for most kids to be at 95th percentile when they're 2 or 3. Kids do normally adjust their position in the chart as they grow, especially in the first year or 2.

You don't understand growth charts. Someone has to be 95%. It isn't "good" or "bad" but a relative indicator fir your child vs the population. 95% doesn't mean fat. It means 95% of kids that age weigh less. If your kid also is taller than 95% of other kids of course he or she will weigh more.

[Anonymous]

Another "I could have written your post" mother of a 22 mo DS. No issues with breakfast, but lunch and dinner can be a nightmare. He refuses almost all meat (used to love it) and veggies (used to at least eat some). He will ask for noodles almost every night and wants them with butter. He will refuse what is offered and ask for noodles. He will eat a hot dog every so often and loves fries when occasionally offered. He will always eat fruit (thankfully!) and loves yogurt. As with others, he will refuse any new foods when offered - except for rye bread the other day - and keeps narrowing down what he will eat. It is so irritating! I know it's part of the age, but am hoping it ends sooner rather than later. He is growing, so no concerns there. I just want mealtime to get easier!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

OP here: I mean, some of you say we should eat with him more. This weekend we went to dinner with him both nights and brunch with him today. At brunch, we got him eggs and he refused them. He also refused to even TRY my husband's french toast (come on, people, french toast is yummy). he had a few bites of white bread from the bread basket, that's it, until I gave him a pouch. he also had about 3 french fries. you'd think he'd be hungry at dinner, but we took him out and ordered kids' menu "english muffin pizza" - he whined and pushed it away before he even tasted it. i offered some of my breaded chicken entree, refused. my husband offered some of his hamburger, refused. he ate a few of these chips i brought him from home and some melon i brought from home (which was only offered after all of that was refused, and mostly to keep him happy while we ate). i mean what do I even do when it's THAT bad? some of my friends are like "oh, my son was a picky eater, just put some broccoli in their pasta with tomato sauce, sneak it in, or oh my daughter was picky, just put some shredded chicken in their grilled cheese." they don't get it - he doesn't even eat pasta with tomato sauce, he doesn't even eat grilled cheese. he's IMPOSSIBLE. it's really really grating on me too because he eats 3 times a day and when he's THAT picky it's 3 times a day I am at my wits' end. UGGHHH.

[Anonymous]

OP: that's so weird- my auto correct on my phone just changed the she to he and the her to him- WTF. sorry about that. i think it's because i edited work document on my phone earlier and had done that global change for a legal brief - but that makes no sense. never seen that before.

[Anonymous]

OP, I already posted, but just wanted to say again I totally relate, and again my son is exactly the same way. I dread meal times and just feel like, what's the point? And I am not even stressed about healthy food, I am stressed about feeding him ANY food. Today all he ate for lunch was an apple. Recently he ate a pretzel from the mall, and now he asks for it for every meal. I can't go to the mall every day for Auntie Ann's pretzels!!!

[Anonymous]

Honestly and I almost never post anything negative on here - I feel stressed just reading your post which means I'm
Sure your cd is feeling mega pressure to EAT - I would go see your ped for a referral to a specialist but in the meantime I would try the opposite tactic. Sit down for a meal - put food in front of him and then completely ignore the eating. Talk to your husband, tease your dc, but no begging him to eat. This is the one thing he can control and the experiment is worth a try since he isn't going to
Eat anywsy . I'm the one who suggested how to get your kid to eat but not too much - the boom opens with a family feeding their kid in the bath tub bc they were trying to force food down the kid and it was messy. I read it bc my dd had gotten so picky and we'd resorted to ridiculous bribes and she was refusing to eat if we didn't let her watch elmo videos and I was so desperate for her to eat that I let her!! I realized I'd gone off the deep end so threw my hands in the air and said whatever - I'm
No. Longer pressuring her to eat. I just stopped. Meals slowly got fun again and 2 mos later she's eating- not a huge variety but still eating and she just ate her first green veggie in. 9 mid this week - peas - and I'd been putting them on her plate for six months.
All that's to say is what your doing isn't working so try something else - and go see the pec to rule out anything else.

[Anonymous]

Op here we don't pressure her- it's not like I try to bribe or say "try it try it please" etc- and I usually walk away when she's in the high chair and do dishes so she doesn't think I'm watching her. Of course I don't pressure her bc I know that just backfires. We offer her all theset things. Just put in front of her. All the things I mentioned from the weekend were offered casually and when she refused I didn't force the issue - nothing is wrong with her medically. It's a strong will thing I just wish there was an easier fix