What would you do in this situation?
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Anonymous
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OP,
Are you volunteering in class and observing this? Because I don't think your three-year-old is reporting that these boys are dominating the teacher's time on an almost daily basis. Are you more upset than she is? |
Anonymous
| I would wait another year and see if things change. |
Anonymous
OP here. Yes, I volunteer in the classroom and on field trips often. And my DD is five years old, she is in kindergarten. But to your point, am I more upset than she is? Probably. She is more matter-of-fact when she tells me about all the trouble the boys got into each day. My point, I guess, is that because I have seen how much time the teachers have to spend dealing with these certain boys, I know that was less time spent on math or phonics or whatever for the other children (boys and girls) who do behave. However, reading this thread has been very enlightening. My DD is not at any of the schools mentioned, but clearly other kindergarten classrooms have some problems too. |
Anonymous
| Some teachers just really, really love the boys! Annoying for a parent of girls. |
Anonymous
I'm sorry. What? So let me get this straight. If the boys in the class are disruptive and misbehaving, and are distracting the teacher from being able to teach, the other children should leave the school? And the girls should enroll in an all girls school because of the disruptive boys? What do the well-behaved boys do? Where do they go? Surely this can't really be what you mean... The children who misbehave (boys or girls-and girls can be awful too) need to be made to stop. OP, I would meet with the teacher and (calmly) express your concerns, citing examples, and explain that you feel that something needs to change going forward because its affecting your daughter's ability to concentrate and feel comfortable in the classroom. Go from there. Removing well behaved children from the classroom isn't the answer. |
Anonymous
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I don't think that was the point, I think it was that an all girls school would have less of these behavioral issues that you see with boys. Until of course you get towards middle school and the girls become vicious towards each other.
I didn't see where the OP said that he/she had actually talked to the daughters teacher. That would be the first place to start in my opinion. |
Anonymous
We have a quiet son in a school where, despite the trend in the opposite direction for many classes, his is predominantly boys. We find it to be very traditional (yes, it's a Catholic school!  ) and that the structure helps keep a lid on bad behavior. Some schools just run things differently.
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Anonymous
Yes, I think that was her point. Same happened to us. Private two with two classrooms per grade. Two uncontrollable boys in the class, compunded by uncontrolled girl cliques, so each class had to be assemble around those two boys to keep them separated. The boys were allowed to continue to be disruptive and misbehave, to the point of frightening the teachers and harming the other kids. Parents did go to the headmaster to say "either counsel them out, fix the clique problem, or we go". He didn't counsel them out. We all left. And it was a good move. |
Anonymous
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This can be frustrating but it really does taper off in later grades. In addition, it is important that your daughter learn to have fun, study, focus in all different kinds of situations and just pulling her out of school so she can be with quiet girls (when there is no guarantee of this) is not the answer. What will happen at her all girls school when there is a mean girls clique? Or when there are other disruptive students? Or is she is the talker and everyone is so shy? At Sidwell, GDS, Beauvoir, etc the classes get rearranged every year.
My calm boy was with disruptive boys for two years and now in 1st grade is in the calmer class. I'm happy for him for the break. Will he be with those boys in other years, yes. Will he have to learn how to deal with it? Yes. The same way he will deal with slow readers, better math students, people who can sing more on key, people who are tone deaf, etc... You get the point. Teach your daughter that people learn things at different rates. And that these boys are learning how to be calm at a different rate. Talk to your teachers about what they can do to help make the classroom environment better for everyone, including the boys who are having trouble controlling themselves. This happens everywhere. I was in the grocery store the other day and saw a woman pushing her cart with three boys. She would tell them what she wanted and one would take it off the shelf, lob it to the other one, who lobbed it to the third and he would dunk it into the cart. I started laughing and she said "You must be the mother of boys." When I asked her how she knew, she said that the mother of girls only glare at her... |
Anonymous
| OP -- our DDs could be in the class that you describe too! (And the teacher's names are G and -- I don't remember the other initial). Point being, this is a common problem, and I'm sure that the teacher is aware of it. That being said, bring concrete examples of concerns -- in a positive way -- to the teacher. We were hearing repeated comments from our DD about a particular boy, and I asked the teacher about it. I was given reassurance that this is a topic that is being addressed. I spoke with some of the "boy" moms and they volunteered that they are working on things as a result of conversations with the teacher. If the teacher isn't doing anything, that's a problem, but I would start by saying something constructive to the teacher. If there is more than one class next year, then talk with the school about getting that group of kids split up. |