What would you do in this situation?

[Anonymous]

My DD is in a small, co-ed kindergarten class. We love her teachers and she has made some really nice friends. However, there are a handful of boys in the class that behave very badly, are extremely disruptive, and dominate the teacher's time on an almost daily basis. My DD is currently doing fine academically and socially, but she is very frustrated by the constant disruptions in class. It angers us to know that we are paying so much money in tuition for such an unproductive learning environment. We don't want to re-enroll our daughter for first grade if these same boys are there next year. Do I voice my concerns, or just shut up and hope things are better next year?

[Anonymous]

Boys are like that in kindergarten. But I'd talk to the teacher about your concerns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is in a small, co-ed kindergarten class. We love her teachers and she has made some really nice friends. However, there are a handful of boys in the class that behave very badly, are extremely disruptive, and dominate the teacher's time on an almost daily basis. My DD is currently doing fine academically and socially, but she is very frustrated by the constant disruptions in class. It angers us to know that we are paying so much money in tuition for such an unproductive learning environment. We don't want to re-enroll our daughter for first grade if these same boys are there next year. Do I voice my concerns, or just shut up and hope things are better next year?

Here's your answer, right? I think it's safe to assume that those same boys will be in the class next year.

[Anonymous]

I'd look into an all girls school for your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd look into an all girls school for your daughter.

I agree. Boys and girls generally have different learning styles. Boys tend to be much more active. Where girls can sit quietly and listen, you will often find boys in a pile, leaning on one another, fidgeting, asking questions out of turn, needing to move around more. Especially in the very young grades. It gets better when they get older.

A good teacher can manage both, but even with excellent classroom management, you are still going to have bouncy boys. If she's doing well academically, it doesn't sound like it's an unproductive learning environment. I would generally tend to focus on her learning to get along with those who are different from her. But if you feel that's too much to ask at such a young age (and it may be), then an all girls' class is probably a much better fit for her.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you think it's the teachers or the kids? If it's the teachers, and you have a sense that the first grade teacher might have better classroom management, perhaps it will work for you to stay, if you otherwise like the school. If it's the kids, that's tougher. One reason we left a small school that was in many ways wonderful was the realization that my kid would be with the same relatively small group of peers year after year. There was only one class per grade, so there wasn't a chance to get a "break" from a particular disruptive child(ren).
Regardless, you should speak to the teachers/ administration. Don't walk in with ultimatums (shape up or we're OUT) but do try to get a sense of what is going on. You describe that your daughter is frustrated, and while you certainly need to get her feedback, a child's perception of what is happening in a classroom is often skewed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you think it's the teachers or the kids? If it's the teachers, and you have a sense that the first grade teacher might have better classroom management, perhaps it will work for you to stay, if you otherwise like the school. If it's the kids, that's tougher. One reason we left a small school that was in many ways wonderful was the realization that my kid would be with the same relatively small group of peers year after year. There was only one class per grade, so there wasn't a chance to get a "break" from a particular disruptive child(ren).
Regardless, you should speak to the teachers/ administration. Don't walk in with ultimatums (shape up or we're OUT) but do try to get a sense of what is going on. You describe that your daughter is frustrated, and while you certainly need to get her feedback, a child's perception of what is happening in a classroom is often skewed.

OP here. Thanks everybody for your feedback. In this case, I really do feel it is the boys and not the teachers. I have an older daughter who has always been in a co-ed school, so I know about the "boys being boys" thing, but this is different. I have seen the bad behaviors with my own eyes - spitting, biting, punching - truly inappropriate behavior. I will look into an all-girls school, but besides Stone Ridge, are there any all-girls schools that have a first grade classroom?

[Anonymous]

Is it a Sidwell K class? I feel the same way and I have a boy.

[Anonymous]

Sidwell is sort of notorious for letting this kind of behavior slide. It usually tapers off by 2nd or 3rd grade. In my daughters class is was the girls who were physical and rude and disruptive so single sex may not be the answer. Ask to switch classrooms if you can.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if our dds are in the same class (not at Sidwell). Do teachers names start with G and W?

I haven't seen the behaviors, but dd always tells me about how badly the boys behave. She won't wear turtlenecks anymore b/c they pull on them, the whole group, save two, get en-masse time outs, different rule sets, etc. Lots of inappropriate name calling, poking, not listening, and so on.

[Anonymous]

Although many boys might be acting out, one "leader" may bring out the worst in others. If you can figure out if that's the case, you can suggest your daughter be placed in a class next year without that child. Also, that might prompt the school to think more about how they group those boys next year. One child can change the group dynamics a lot.

[Anonymous]

We have had problems with twin boys. It's like they have their own gang.

[Anonymous]

Our DDs attended private schools up until this year. Now 2 out of 3 are at public schools, where this disruptive behavior from both girls and boys is a daily problem. I am amazed that these children are allowed to remain at your school and not asked to leave by the administration, particularly because of the pulling on turtlenecks and poking. In our previous experiences (all with Montessori schools, not in this area), these children would not be allowed to remain in the program. I would contact other parents in your DD's class to see what what their experiences have been with the responsiveness of this teacher. Then I would set up a private meeting with the teacher and possibly administrator to voice concerns and get concrete plans to address this inappropriate behavior.

It makes me so mad that my DD's classroom is full of daily disruptions, but we attend public schools. You should expect appropriate action from your DD's teacher and the administration.

[Anonymous]

I had a pretty low key talk with our K teacher about this. I blamed it on the pre-K teacher who had left and said that these boys had learned how to get two to catch her attention while one did the bad stuff and how she didn't care and now that they knew they could get away with it... To my surprise, she took it all in and made the changes. She must have seen for herself how they worked, and put a stop to it. You never know when you might succeed with a low key approach. (It goes without saying that if you a very concerned you will leave. No need to bring that up)

[Anonymous]

If it is a very small school I imagine there isn't a second class to move the kids around in to.

DC's school moved some kids around mid-year and it made a big difference.