Decision not to have any more kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've heard about the Done feeling and I wish I felt it. Does it ever come later? I mean, do you have to have another child to accomplish feeling Done or can the feeling just evolve even with the children you already have?

I think it just depends on the kind of person you are. I am extremely pragmatic. I can brush aside "feelings" and do what is best for my situation.

I have 2 kids, sure I could have 4, we love kids and I love big families. However, I also LOVE my part-time 3 day a week job. If we added more kids in the mix, life would just get too crazy and I would have to sacrifice something I don't want to sacrifice. Right now our kids can go to a great private school, live in a nice neighborhood, take vacations, drive a compact car, and have the best of everything. This is what I want for them. More kids would take some of that away.

[Anonymous]

So funny. I knew before I got married that I would only have one pregnancy and birth. I told my husband well before we got married that I was not having more than one or multiples if we had a multiple pregnancy. I told him flat out if he wanted more that I was not the girl for him. We had our one and I will not be having more and have no pangs for more especially now that I am getting my life back more and more.

[Anonymous]

I had my 3rd in my 40s. I wasn't done, even though DH was. I still longed for a 3rd. After we had our 3rd, DH is so happy, says he was crazy not to want the third. DC#3 completed our family. Ya, I'd have another were I younger, but the longing has stopped -- that awful sleepless newborn thing is not for me again, despite the incredible cuteness of those cuddly newborns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had my 3rd in my 40s. I wasn't done, even though DH was. I still longed for a 3rd. After we had our 3rd, DH is so happy, says he was crazy not to want the third. DC#3 completed our family. Ya, I'd have another were I younger, but the longing has stopped -- that awful sleepless newborn thing is not for me again, despite the incredible cuteness of those cuddly newborns.

I'm happy for you. I hope I can have my third in my 40s too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had the same reaction as you. DH and I thought for sure we were done with two (same age difference, different sexes). But I was still sad as I packed up my baby's clothes and thought about leaving the baby stage behind. Lo and behold, we had a surprise pregnancy and #3 is now four months old. Now I know we are Done. I love having my three kids (initially, I was scared to death!) and have no nostalgia as I put away the baby stuff. In my heart, it just feels right. It did not after our second.

Good luck.

I want to thank you for this post too. I think I am hoping for a "surprise" pregnancy, but when I actually think about having a third, I wonder if I am losing my mind. My DH and I are so tired and worked so hard, but I do not feel done. Did you feel like you cheated the second at all? I sometimes worry my first got so much attention and my second will get lost in the shuffle....

Ugh...I hate wondering all the time.