Has anyone successfully moved away

[Anonymous]

OP I've done this many times. when you arrive you decide, to be more friendly, more relaxed, or more hermity and more private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know but I would love to pick up and move. I would love to try another city that is closer to nature, with more sunshine and laid back people. DC people are so stressed, political and intense. Lots of people here have health issues related to stress. Most of my co-workers have high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer survivors and obesity. While I think some of these issues are food related, I notice that many people work very hard just survive the work, traffic, home cycle. When I travel to other low stress places and return, the stress of the DMV hits me hard.

We moved to Maine last year and I feel so much calmer, freer, and connected to the earth and my community. I love the nature, ocean, slower pace and am struck every day by how much better and more alive I feel.

[Anonymous]

Wherever you go, there you are.

I knew a girl in my 20s who complained about DC and how all the men were awful and hated it here. She moved to Chicago--same thing. She moved to N.C.- same thing. I have no idea where she is now, but we pretty much all knew it was a 'her' problem.

I see this in the 'grass is greener' people. They ruin marriages, have affairs, get remarried, divorce, remarry...and they haven't changed at all. It's a 'them' problem, but in their minds it's always somebody else who is the problem.

[Anonymous]

I’ve reinvented myself upon moving but that’s been because of a shift in life stages not because of the move. For example I feel like I became a new version of me when I became a parent, even though I was still living in the same place I had been for the past five years. However, I didn’t become a new me so to speak when I moved from Taipei to DC, because that was just a stepping stone in that particular life stage. Sometimes they do coincide however (moving to Taipei, for example, was my first job out of school and I was really trying to develop a different kind of social life).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wherever you go, there you are.

I knew a girl in my 20s who complained about DC and how all the men were awful and hated it here. She moved to Chicago--same thing. She moved to N.C.- same thing. I have no idea where she is now, but we pretty much all knew it was a 'her' problem.

I see this in the 'grass is greener' people. They ruin marriages, have affairs, get remarried, divorce, remarry...and they haven't changed at all. It's a 'them' problem, but in their minds it's always somebody else who is the problem.

+1 million !!!

[Anonymous]

People from all over the world move to NYC & LA, & 100% of them become A-holes. Or maybe they were A-holes before? Not sure of the cause/effect here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People from all over the world move to NYC & LA, & 100% of them become A-holes. Or maybe they were A-holes before? Not sure of the cause/effect here.

Same with Paris.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People from all over the world move to NYC & LA, & 100% of them become A-holes. Or maybe they were A-holes before? Not sure of the cause/effect here.

The A-holes are a-holes. The nice people don't draw attention to themselves so you don't notice them.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in place where most people I knew were of same religion, race, ethnicity, social class, culture and language. My world view was limited and conditioned. I was weary of others and thought of our way as the only right way.

Once I started moving and traveling, I realized how much diversity is out there and how many right ways to be. I'm more open to others and appreciative of differences.

[Anonymous]

Depends on why you're leaving. If it's to meet new people, do new things, want different lifestyle, of course moving would change things up.

It's all common sense I think.

If you just don't feel happy with your life as a general theme and if you've always found a pattern of not being satisfied in a different city than current, well, I'm pretty sure moving ain't gonna change anything.

A different environment = culture however so on some level I think moving does bring the opportunity for many changes mentally and emotionally but ultimately, if you are moving to magically feel better, probably not gonna happen. You should define why you are unhappy as a first step to considering moving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Idk what you are trying to change but for an average person, change of geography brings lot of changes. I moved states and countries and eventually grew into a very different person than had I stayed.

Interesting! Like how?

[Anonymous]

I find DC a very very hard place to be happy in. I've lived in Chicago, NYC and HK. I find DMV to be a place where there's some sort of wall around people's emotions. While everyone is nice, there's a sort of shield that goes up and there's only a certain amount of nice that's allowed. I can't really describe it except that I find it's been almost impossible to really get close to anyone around here. My last truly good friend I met here was from SF and transplanted here around the same time as me. She's out to Annapolis now. I have friends among my kids' friends' parents but again, there's something about how people connect here that differs than what I experienced in the other big cities I lived. Granted, I'm different now than I was 20 years ago too on many levels I'm sure but it's a feeling I get around here. The most down to earth people I've ever been around are from Midwest - Chicago is the best. In general anyone from Midwest have a sincerity that I feel. I also didn't have a prob with NYC. On a recent visit to Miami, I loved a lot of the locals.

I have a theory about DMV culture - it's all lawyers, lobbyists and policy/non profit/political people. In HK, NYC, Chicago and even Miami - it's more business centric. Esp creatives in the first 3 places ie Advertising is big. These people know how to live it up and they are naturally inclined to relating on a different level than intellectuals/sales/academia crowd of DMV. My guess is that's why I feel more stifled here than the other metro cities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Idk what you are trying to change but for an average person, change of geography brings lot of changes. I moved states and countries and eventually grew into a very different person than had I stayed.

Interesting! Like how?

NP here - well I'm not sure how you could not feel a change?! Think about it - don't you feel different if you smelled the sea air every day? If you woke up to honking horns every morning? If you had to drive all the time v. walk all the time anywhere? I mean OF COURSE if your environment changes, you would change. That's a very logical and reasonable deduction. Why do you think people talk about moving when they feel restless or unhappy??!

The environment will dictate culture and that alone will impact your personality and habits to change. You'll feel a different energy and that will impact the average person and even if in a small way, it will still be different.

That doesn't mean it's going to solve your patterns and habits but it will offer an opportunity for the average person to feel differently and open to change. It's called - getting a new start. Start being the key word however!

[Anonymous]

I often think about where I’d be if I’d chosen a different college or a different career path or a different life partner, and I think I might be a very different person in some ways if those big life choices had been different. My socioeconomic status, political views, friendships and opportunities to grow have all been shaped by where I live and who I’m surrounded by. But the core of how I feel and process in the world, my core personality, I thing would be more or less the same no matter which forks in the road I took.

[Anonymous]

I believe completely in nature v. nurture - that who you are will never change. Your personality, nature - how you process things, your sense of morality, humor, interests, these define you. Wherever you are, they stay with you. You can evolve but you won't change. Your pessimism/optimism, your spirit and your willpower and drive - these stay with you always. You can change your habits and activities but not what turns you on and what you like.

I do believe however that changing your environment will bring out different parts of you to focus. If you are surrounded by nature, you may have more opportunities to go on walks, camping, see wildlife and these things may make you happier, stronger, inspire you. You may decide to eat healthier, etc. You may meet people who you like or don't like more or less depending on the culture of a place. Maybe they like art or books or debate. Maybe you have more conversations and debate.

So of course changing your scenery impacts but it won't turn you into a totally different person. If you manage your expectations, it could be a good move for you.