Broke up with my boyfriend after finding he had an OLD account

[Anonymous]

Updating and maintaining a dating profile is not cool. He's gaslighting you by getting upset instead of acknowledging that was wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Due to our respective custody schedules. When we have our kids we focus on them, and see each other in our noncustodial weeks.

I should caveat that we matched on FB dating, so I knew what the original profile looked like, and knew what he changed

Honestly, you sound kind of psycho. You either trust him or you don't. I say you don't trust him because you checked his FB dating profile, which you had memorized. Here's a goid rule for the future: if you're thinking of spying on a guy, just dump him. He may be up to something and/or you are mistrusting.

[Anonymous]

Am I kind of psycho? Or actually psycho? I trusted him but had feelings of distrust here and there. Surely that’s within the range of normal human experience & not falling within the category of being psycho?

I’ve had it with this website. Nearly every post reverts to insults and deprecating remarks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Due to our respective custody schedules. When we have our kids we focus on them, and see each other in our noncustodial weeks.

I should caveat that we matched on FB dating, so I knew what the original profile looked like, and knew what he changed

Ahhhh…it’s likely why he’s divorced. Cheater

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Updating and maintaining a dating profile is not cool. He's gaslighting you by getting upset instead of acknowledging that was wrong.

+1

[Anonymous]

Has he updated during the time you were exclusive?

I don't delete my accounts, but I'm not active on them either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I kind of psycho? Or actually psycho? I trusted him but had feelings of distrust here and there. Surely that’s within the range of normal human experience & not falling within the category of being psycho?

I’ve had it with this website. Nearly every post reverts to insults and deprecating remarks.

I don’t think you’re psycho!
I say trust your intuition! I think it is troubling that he is not immediately empathizing with how awful this is for you to discover. I smell deflection on his part. I would think at least subconsciously he was keeping the door open for new opportunities.

[Anonymous]

OP, something similar happened to me. Except I was stupid and let him get away with it twice. He solicited sex and when I caught him both times he claimed he never would’ve followed thru and had never cheated on me. It’s been months and he’s still trying to fix it but I’ve moved on. He showed his true colors and now I know who he is. It still hurts, though. Really bad. Sorry you’re going thru this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, something similar happened to me. Except I was stupid and let him get away with it twice. He solicited sex and when I caught him both times he claimed he never would’ve followed thru and had never cheated on me. It’s been months and he’s still trying to fix it but I’ve moved on. He showed his true colors and now I know who he is. It still hurts, though. Really bad. Sorry you’re going thru this.

That is so painful, and I’m so sorry! Did he say he loved you? Do men truly love their girlfriends AND look for these sexual opportunities?? I feel so confused!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has he updated during the time you were exclusive?

I don't delete my accounts, but I'm not active on them either.

Yes he made a few small updates. He then admitted he made an update during our time that we were exclusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, something similar happened to me. Except I was stupid and let him get away with it twice. He solicited sex and when I caught him both times he claimed he never would’ve followed thru and had never cheated on me. It’s been months and he’s still trying to fix it but I’ve moved on. He showed his true colors and now I know who he is. It still hurts, though. Really bad. Sorry you’re going thru this.

That is so painful, and I’m so sorry! Did he say he loved you? Do men truly love their girlfriends AND look for these sexual opportunities?? I feel so confused!

Yep. We had dated for several years. He helped thru a very difficult time, and I helped him navigate tough stuff. We loved each other. Or I guess I should say I believed him when he told me he loved me. I loved him. Still do. Can’t just turn that off. But I won’t go back. If I did, it would probably be great at first, right? “OMG Im so sorry I’ll never do it again you’re the love of my life I need you” etc but eventually he’d go back to his old ways.

[Anonymous]

He stupid. I dumped my idiot though I don't think he cheated. I just didn't care for a grown man who needs to hang out on those half-naked ladies websites with other men commenting.
Told him to call the website when he gets lonely.
Dump the idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. It feels binary. I just feel like men nowadays want to have their cake & eat it too. They enjoy the stability and benefits of monogamy but add cheating to the mix because they have endless opportunities to do so.

I don't think that men who are divorced with kids generally view their post-divorce relationships as monogamous. They've already been married, now they're single. At most, you're their go-to or their number one option. I wouldn't get so emotionally invested in them.

Really?? Maybe you are right.

I'm probably more cynical than I am right. I hope you have better experiences going forward.

NP. I thought you were right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Due to our respective custody schedules. When we have our kids we focus on them, and see each other in our noncustodial weeks.

I should caveat that we matched on FB dating, so I knew what the original profile looked like, and knew what he changed

Honestly, you sound kind of psycho. You either trust him or you don't. I say you don't trust him because you checked his FB dating profile, which you had memorized. Here's a goid rule for the future: if you're thinking of spying on a guy, just dump him. He may be up to something and/or you are mistrusting.

OP ignore that. You don't sound "psycho" at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has he updated during the time you were exclusive?

I don't delete my accounts, but I'm not active on them either.

Yes he made a few small updates. He then admitted he made an update during our time that we were exclusive.

You were in an exclusive relationship and he was on his OLD profile, making updates to it. Why do that if he isn't using OLD? Or planning to use it? If you are on there, bothering to make updates, you are either looking for women to date or fixin' to. Trust your gut, OP.