Would it be weird to knock on their door?

[Anonymous]

You can absolutely knock on their door and introduce yourself! People on DCUM are so antisocial and afraid of offending that they issue the most ridiculous advice, sometimes.

We are a multiethnic family, and our best friends adopted a child from another ethnicity. None of us would find it in the least offensive if people make mistaken assumptions about our origins, our children's origins or whatever else! Families like us are open-minded and have been asked so many questions so many times, it's perfectly fine!

You can mention that your kid is adopted and you have a meet-up group of adoptive families. See how they react to that...

[Anonymous]

OP, forget about The Club, for now. Knock on their door. You have children of similar age. Introduce yourself. That would be normal. Get to know each other. When you get to know each other, the discussion of adoption will come up eventually.

[Anonymous]

Support Group, Club .. whatever you called it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I think it’s weird. I also think that you cannot unilaterally decide to invite new people to a support group. It’s got to be a group decision.

We only meet up at parks and public places like local hikes, we did a museum once too. It’s not an official support group anymore although I call it that. We met at a support group initially started by our adoption agency. They went online during Covid though and never went back to in person. We’ve all been ok with other people with similar families joining us, that’s not the issue. The issue is, whether it’s weird to knock on a strangers door lol.

NP and nothing wrong with knocking on a door to introduce yourself. I wouldn't mention the support group at that time. Presumably you will see them from time to time and get to know them and you can mention your child's adoption then and if they want to share back they can.

Plus 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can absolutely knock on their door and introduce yourself! People on DCUM are so antisocial and afraid of offending that they issue the most ridiculous advice, sometimes.

We are a multiethnic family, and our best friends adopted a child from another ethnicity. None of us would find it in the least offensive if people make mistaken assumptions about our origins, our children's origins or whatever else! Families like us are open-minded and have been asked so many questions so many times, it's perfectly fine!

You can mention that your kid is adopted and you have a meet-up group of adoptive families. See how they react to that...

We are a multiethnic family and my DH and I would find it weird if a stranger knocked on our door just because they are a multiethnic family too. If we meet them out in the neighborhood, strike up conversation, great.

[Anonymous]

Multi ethnic, adoptive family here too. I’m used to questions, some people are curious about the makeup of our family.

If I moved to a new area & anyone knocked on my door & was friendly, I’d be happy to meet them. If they were offering a kind invite to anything, I would also be happy. Maybe it works for us or maybe it doesn’t, but I would welcome the kindness.

[Anonymous]

Adoptive patents have a natural bond with other adoptive parents.

Don’t listen to people who have no idea what they are talking about.

I would not knock on anyone’s door unexpectedly, but maybe leave a note in their mailbox saying that you heard there was another adoptive family in the community and wanted to welcome them.

[Anonymous]

Transracial international adult adoptee AND international adoptive parent here.

I would find it well-meaning but very off-putting if someone knocked on my door or asked pointed questions. As a child, I never wanted to meet another adoptee simply because they were also adopted. I would knock to be friendly but I certainly wouldn’t bring up adoption (and you never know if the child is actually adopted or what the situation is).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure which forum to put this in. DD is adopted and AA, we are white. We joined a support group pre Covid that met in person but doesn’t anymore. A few of us with same aged kids continued meeting up and do so now every couple of months, sometimes more. A new family moved in a few months ago a few streets away from us. They clearly have adopted an adopted , maybe 2. Would it be weird for me to knock on the door and see if they want to join us on one of our meet ups? Their kids look a couple years younger than mine but close enough they’d enjoy same/similiar activities.

Go over, with your child and introduce yourselves. Bring a bouquet of flowers to welcome them to the neighborhood. When they see you are white and your child is AA, unless they are blind, they will surmise that your child is adopted.