Yes, where is the case made, OP? I'm not seeing it. |
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What kids need to see is how their parents manage disagreements, fights and full blown crises. A good and lasting marriage is not devoid of those, but it’s one where those are resolved fully and respectfully. The kids don’t need to know the details of the issue but they will live through a cycle of calm-tension-calm and know that conflict is not the end of the world and can and should be overcome.
This board is the last place anyone should be getting relationship advice, so take everything with a big rock of salt. |
+1. Ideal marriages are just that...ideal. We live in the real world. |
This is the case against step children.
If all the kids have the same set of parents, divorce and remarry has more potential to be less dysfunctional. If you have children and are divorced, only remarry people who do not have / want children of their own. |
OP seems to be comparing divorce against a functioning marriage. I also lived through my parents' daily toxic fighting. What OP described sounds much more terrific in comparison. A missed playdate versus adults screaming and crying for hours? |
your lowest point doesn’t sound very low. I’m glad your marriage held up, but people divorce for much more serious interpersonal dysfunction. it’s cute though that you think divorce is the same as leaving the toddler with your husband so you can go to the gym. |
Or a stepmom who doesn't prioritize your needs versus her own / the shared kids |
is this a competition to you or ? |
That's screwed up that the dad is out of town but the kid has to stay with step-mom instead of mom. |
Same. So trashy. |
agree OP. as long as the two parents are respectful and good parents, then they need to tough it out. Getting divorced for growing apart or lack of affection and sex while you have young kids is a selfish and horrible idea. I can't imagine dragging my kid through my dating, new partners, potential step siblings, step grandparents etc. |
I was wondering about that too. Maybe they have an acrimonious custody arrangement and the dad is firm that his weekend, is HIS weekend whether he is there or not. |
So stop divorcing when your marriage isn't bliss. |
Not PP, but you seem willfully obtuse. "The worse part of our marriage was a brief time when our children where very young where we had enough for ourselves but I would've preferred more cuddles" isn't exactly rock bottom. As PP said, and you seem to keep ignoring, "people divorce for much more serious interpersonal dysfunction." My abuser left multiple physical scars on my body. I decided to divorce when he threatened to treat our children the same way. I don't give a rat's behind if they miss a playdate or two with judgy OP's kid, or your temporarily-slightly-less-than-ideal family. |