Did you upgrade or downgrade compared to your mom/dad?
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Anonymous
Ok, yes in one way, no in another. |
Anonymous
| I purposefully found a spouse that was nothing like either of my parents. I never wanted to live like them |
Anonymous
| Downgrade unfortunately. My parents have been married 50 years and are still happy. I’ve been married 17 and planning my exit strategy. |
Anonymous
|
Downgrade
But my dad was an exceptionally kind and accomplished man Looks wise they are about equal |
Anonymous
| Lateralled. DH is VERY similar to my father. Luckily for me and my kids that's a very good thing. |
Anonymous
| I initially married a man exactly like my father without realizing it. My dad was a good man but incredibly selfish and worthless around the house. I actually found a letter my mom had typed up for him when she turned 40 outlining the things he needed to change if he wanted to stay married to her (newsflash- he never changed and she never divorced him). After he passed away I did some soul searching and I was separated within a year. Now I’m with someone who is a true partner. So I lateraled, then upgraded. |
Anonymous
| Upgrade in every aspect. |
Anonymous
| That’s a toughie. My mom was a Barbie in her heyday so had way better opportunities and fumbled all of them. I made do with the face and body I inherited from dad. DH isn’t as handy around the house as my dad but has a great personality. A wash I guess |
Anonymous
Same here. I would not have married a man remotely like my father. The only area my father was better was income and I don't need a man for that. My DH is kind, loving, emotionally available and a partner. Our marriage is a zillion times better than my parents. ~Married nearly 30 years. |
Anonymous
Then, yes and no. |
Anonymous
| My mother has too little self-awareness. So upgrade in that sense. In all other senses, downgrade for sure. I didn't know that at the time though. |
Anonymous
|
I love my dad, and he's a great person, but I don't think he's always been easy to be married to. My husband is less prickly, less stubborn, and more easygoing, and I'd say that we definitely bicker less than my parents. So in that sense he's definitely an upgrade.
Am I an upgrade over my MIL? Not sure about that one. She's a wonderful person. |
Anonymous
|
I just find the question offensive. I think more about what I bring to all relationships and what I can do to bring more, and honor my wonderful parents in that way... being my best self. Thinking in terms of upgrades and downgrades reeks of judgment and makes people seem like merchandise.
Having said that... I ended up profoundly unhappy in my first marriage to a financially very successful person. I am much happier now. But I will probably always think that no man could be as wonderful as my father, who was brilliant and funny and loving and sensitive and creative and accomplished and supportive of my mom's career (including doing more than his fair share of cooking and cleaning) and sociable, even if perhaps he did not earn a large income. |
Anonymous
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Major upgrade! My dad was a deadbeat alcoholic who beat women. He paid no child support, had minimal interaction in my life and I havent spoken to him in ~20 yrs.
My husband is mostly amazing (and my momma loves him!). So major major upgrade for me. |
Anonymous
| My mother was everything you could ask for in a mother. My wife is the same way so I consider myself to be very lucky. |