The Truth About Daycare Waiting Lists

[Anonymous]

I disagree with most of the OP's post. I have placed three children over the last 6 years in DC daycares, including Bright Horizons (which, by the way, are the MOST professional to work with) and churches.
I am telling you right now, OP, you are a pain in the arse, and those centers remembered you everytime you called and probably put you lower on the list for it.
The first ever daycare we got into we followed up once a month and asked kindly if they anticipated any openings the following month. Calling weekly is WAY TOO OFTEN, especially in late pregnancy if you plan on taking maternity leave or not placing your child for 3 months.
Some centers are more disorganized and lackadaisical than others, and they may not have record of your application, or your canceled check... but if that is the case, do you really want your child there?
My advice: Play by they rules, be considerate and professional, and help them where you can. You want to be someone they WANT to have in their family, not that they are going to dread having around.
Last, on whether to pay for multiple waiting lists-- the daycares in DC have long lists, that's the story. If you absolutely need a daycare solution by the time you return from maternity leave, find 3-4 places you would be happy with and get on their waiting list. You never know which one will have an opening earlier.

[Anonymous]

We were told to call regularly (every 2 weeks or so) at the federal day care that we are currently in. As a result, we got an infant spot and a toddler spot. I think they know that some people put their name on the waiting list and then make other plans, so the squeaky wheel get the grease in this case. every center is different, but if you call and they happen to have a spot open for exactly what you need, there is a solid chance (assume some priority with fed centers) that they will just give it to you rather than start down the list.

[Anonymous]

I also disagree with the OP's list. I got my name on every daycare that I thought was appropriate/feasible for us. I did no calling back. I got a call from one place that we were in when my baby was 2 weeks old. I got a call from another place when my baby was about 3 months old. I got a call from a third place at maybe 5 months old. And a call from a final place--a Bright Horizons--when my baby was about 7 or 8 months old.

[Anonymous]

I'm in Fairfax, VA. I started visiting daycares when I was 3 mos pregnant and put our names on 2 waiting lists ($100/pop) - the center I'd liked the best, and one I thought was decent, though not my first choice. I had hoped to wait-list at 3 centers, but we didn't find a 3rd center I liked well enough to want to send our kid there. (a couple of the ones near us had no openings for months.) I also had a couple of in-home providers on standby. A couple months in advance of when I needed care, I started calling every couple of weeks to see where we were on the lists. The center I preferred had a matched waiting list which meant that we were matched with a child who would be moving to the mobile infants room around the time we needed care. As it turned out, the child moved on schedule and we had our spot when we needed it - we knew a month or so before I gave birth. I forfeited the other $100 deposit (claimed it on my taxes under child-care costs) and let the in-home providers know we didn't need them as soon as we knew. we've been very happy with the center, and i'm not terribly excited to start all over again with preschools! if I wasn't planning to move, we'd just leave her in her current place till kindergarten!

[Anonymous]

I don't work at the DMV - what do I care what its daycare situaton is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Because it costs nothing for a reputable center to manage a wait list. Most aren't collecting money to guarantee you are interested, they are doing it as part of their profit margin. It takes maybe one person 5 minutes a week to manage a wait list. They need to be able to add (so they know if you are the 7th, 8th, or 9th person on the list) and write your name and information down. They also need to know how to sue a phone, because when there is a vacancy in one of the rooms, they have to be able to call the parent at the top of the list.

This does not cost a center $150 X however many people are on the "list."



You're not paying for their phone-use skills, you're paying for access to the list. Yes it is part of how they make money but that's capitalism, no? It's just the way things are done around here, and it's certainly not limited to "non-reputable" daycares. I don't see a way around it. It's way too scary for me to put all my eggs in one or two daycare baskets!

No, you are paying for the peace of mind of being on a list - if there is in fact even a list. Many centers won't even tell you what number you are on the list. Many centers know darn well that they won't have openings for years, due to siblings and rate of attrition, but don't tell you that up front. This is because they want your $$$. They wait until you flip out on them after being on the "list" for 15 months and not getting a call, then they say, "Oh, well, we haven't had an infant spot open up for a non-sibling family in 8 years!" Yet they took your money for an infant spot.

I don't disagree with anything that's been said about how daycare centers handle their lists or whether it's fair/reasonable for them to charge. But I still don't see how that logically supports the advice to only get on one or two lists. In fact, it only makes me want to get on as many lists as possible, to maximize the chances of being on a list for a center that really will have an infant spot open up. Even if you call every day or camp out on their doorstep, it's still far from a guarantee of getting a spot. Yes, it would be nice if lists were free, but that's just not the reality in DC. (I haven't found one yet that I like that has a free list.) You can rage against the machine and refuse to hand over your money, but you do run the risk of being left with nothing.

I can't afford a nanny and haven't found any in-home providers that would work for us. I'd love for the system to be different but really I'm most concerned with finding a daycare spot for my baby when I need it. If I'm missing something and someone can tell me how I am covering my bases by only being on one or two lists, please let me know. Otherwise, I think you've got lots of good information but a very ill-supported conclusion.

[Anonymous]

Here's something to consider: some of the parents I know wait-listed at their preferred center(s) and found alternate childcare until their number came up. A couple did nanny shares; the rest found in-home providers. Even if an in-home provider isn't your first choice, a good one will be fine for your child for 3 months or 6 months or whatever. I found that our center was fine for my daughter as a baby, but it's been GREAT for her as a toddler - once she became old enough to be social, it was great to have plenty of other kids around and lots of activities. As a younger baby, though, she didn't really need to be at a center with lots of potential playmates.

Personally, though, if you have the money to forfeit, list at as many centers as you like. For some families, $500 in lost deposits is just not a big deal. For others, it would be an enormous loss. Just do your research so you're not totally throwing your money away on options where there's no chance in hell you'd ever get off the list, because it looks like there are some of those out there.

[Anonymous]

OP here for a update and a few more observations in the last few days. I did get into my center of choice that did not have a waiting list fee and did not have any violations on their day care inspection reports. To check in Maryland, go to http://msdecompliancereports.org/msdesearch.asp. I hope someone will post the same for DC and VA.

I was very surprised to see one Federally-sponsored facility that had several violations on their yearly inspection. When I visited the center recently, the violations were still very apparent. To check for parent complaints, you will need to do a little more digging. To find out your local region (county) to check for complaints, call [phone].

Thank you to all the posters who shared their experiences without name calling and trolling. It is nice to see that we can be civil AND anonymous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds dumb, but what do you say when you call? Do you just ask about your position on the waitlist? My midwestern sensibilities tell me its terribly rude to call so often and to trust that they will call us, but I keep hearing over and over again that this is how it works, so I guess I have to just do it! But really, what do you say?

I usually said something like, "We keep hearing such great things about your center, and were more interested than ever in getting a spot. Last time we talked, I know we were pretty far down on the wait list. But I just wanted to let you know how interested we are. Any sense of when a spot might open up?"

I only did this for the two centers we were most interested in. And guess what? We got into both. As for the other two we were on the list for . . . never heard from them.

As for frequency, definitely don't call weekly. That's rude and likely counter-productive. I say once a month should be just fine, starting around 4 or 5 months before you want your child to start. If you know someone whose children are at the center, ask them to put in a word with the director or administrator. And consider brining your child by to say hi in person once after he/she is born. It sounds silly, but I get the sense it helps. Basically, they want to know you're a sure thing who will say yes (rather than someone who has already made other arrangements or (worse) who will take a week to think about it and then say no.)

One last thing you can try: try hard to find a parent or two whose children are currently at the center. Ask your friends if they know anyone. Try your neighborhood listservs. And then talk to them. It's something you can refer to in one of your monthly check-in calls. "I was talking to [child]'s parents the other day and they just raved about how happy they are here. I'm more sure than ever we'd love to be here, too. I know the wait list is long, but I just wanted to be sure you knew how interested we are. If we got a spot, we would definitely take it!!"

Good luck!