Things I love about moms I know

[Anonymous]

My best girlfriends from college (all moms, more senior to me) who call to touch base and have been willing to travel 8 hours to help with my first coliky baby.

Non-judgemental moms

Moms who admit they've had moments when they wanted to chuck their kids.

Moms who will do anything, be anything and sacrifice anything for their kids without playing the martyr.

Moms who do not pull guilt trips.

[Anonymous]

Moms who pass baby things down that you'd only use for 3 or 4 months anyway. I personally know of an exersaucer that has gone through 9-10 babies in our neighborhood. Thanks moms.

[Anonymous]

Moms on the board who have given me, a new mom and a total stranger, thoughtful advice and genuine support on all sorts of parenting issues.

[Anonymous]

OP- You rock!!

[Anonymous]

I am five months pregnant, my first, just starting showing. . .

I appreciate the mom who had this exchange with me:

Me: Your baby has the cutest hat!

Her: And you have the cutest belly!

It really made my day. She was in Target, with an adorable little girl shopping for Easter. Thanks to her if she reads this.

[Anonymous]

The moms who showered me with more awesome hand-me-down clothing, furniture, toys, and gear, than I ever could have dreamed possible, and who - every last one of them - brushed off my thanks by saying, "people did it for us, now it's our turn"

The moms who push their shopping carts up close to mine so our little ones can chatter at each other happily for a minute

The moms who point out cute things my kid does, making me feel like we're all in this parenting thing together and it's not a competition

The stranger moms who make droll, knowing little comments/inside jokes with me in public places, reminding me of the Hilarious Universal Sisterhood of the Mommies - especially because this seems to cross all boundaries of race and class

The moms who wrack their brains trying to think up helpful solutions and remember what they did in the same situation when I present a parenting problem I'm having

The moms who admit freely that motherhood is the best of times and - occasionally - the worst of times

The moms who listen to me venting and know just what I mean (and who listen to me babbling and swooning and bragging and know just what I mean!)

[Anonymous]

Thanks for this post, OP. After reading the "annoying moms" post I was about to give up on DCUM, but you've sucked me back in! Here are the things I love about moms I know (and don't know, for that matter):

- The incredible support I received in the first few months with my colicky DD
- A knowing smile or nod from another mom pushing a stroller on the street or at the park
- Moms who can admit how they REALLY feel about being a mom (i.e. it's not what they expected, it's HARDER than they expected, sometimes they don't feel like they know what they're doing, etc...) Basically, moms who aren't afraid of bering judged for how they really feel and don't feel it necessary to make everyone think they are super-mom
- Moms who tell me I'm a good mom (it's nice to hear sometimes)
- My career mom friends who don't judge me for being a SAHM
- SAHMs who aren't dressed for a play date or music class as if they're were going out for the night or to work (so I don't feel like such a shlep in my jeans, and fleece pullover or workout clothes and baseball hat!) hahaha!
- Moms who can appreciate how hard it is to be a full-time SAHM
- Moms who don't feel it necessary to clean their house from top to bottom when I come over for a play date

I could go on and on.....

[Anonymous]

Let me share a great "pass it on" story. At least I think it great. When I had my son, he was unbelievably colicky (and for those who have been through it you know the difference) and one day I sat at a coffee shop, completely spent and hormonal and just plain nuts. I thought I might throw my DS out the window. He was sleeping at the coffee shop (for the 20 minutes a day he would sleep) and I put my head down and was likely crying softly (total wacko, I know, and believe me I am usually pretty composed). An amazing woman, I think of as an angel, about 60 came over, put her hand on my back and said. I have been there. I had 5 kids and my third was colicky-- never slept, cried all the time. You will get through this.

Why did it matter?
1) because she cared enough to say something; 2) because I didn't feel like such a failure if a mom with 5 and it was her 3rd that was colicky, made me realize some kids are just wired differently in the beginning 3) because I needed someone to recognize what I was going through.

Flash forward years later, my son is now great, though still somewhat spirited and I have other children. A few months ago, I saw a mom at a coffee shop, looking very tired, weepy and sitting with her newborn. I started up a conversation with her and a lot spilled out on her end. She was at the end of her rope. I was able to give her some empathy, some resources, and hopefully some hope, as my coffee shop angel had done for me. I guess these are small things, but when in the moment, for me it meant so much. I guess what I am saying, is that's what I come to DCUM for, some of that coffee shop community or even sisterhood. I don't mind differing opinions at all, but I do mind snarkiness and pettiness, and silly things like let's count all the ways someone who happens to be a mom may annoy us. So anyway, thanks for this post and for everyone who contributed to it.

[Anonymous]

Moms who let their kid go out in costume (like Superman) when it's not Halloween. I love that.

[Anonymous]

I love moms who just let kids be kids, get dirty, run around naked, etc.

I love all of the moms who can admit they are far from perfect.

Creative moms!

My mom, who is never too tired to cook, clean, do laundry, play with my daughter, change her, put her to sleep, walk the dog and vaccuum the house. And because I'm totally opposite, I love the fact that she tells me it took her over 50 years to get it, and now her kids are all grown up!

Mom's who look like they are from completely opposite worlds from you, but will jump at the chance to bond over babies and parenting when they see me or my husband with my daughter.

[Anonymous]

I thought this would be corny, but it is truely touching.

It makes me want to be all of these things.

[Anonymous]

I know this is not about dads but. . .

I was in Whole Foods four years ago, and saw a very tall, rugged dad shopping with his little boy, about three, dressed in a camoflauge shirt and jeans. He was sitting in the front of the cart, happily swinging his feet. On these little feet were sparkly ruby slippers, probably from a Wizard of Oz costume.

I complimented the little boy on his shoes. He smiled, and the dad said, "They are his sister's, and he just loves them. What are you going to do?" And he didn't seem the least bit frustrated. Just stated it matter of factly.

It warmed my heart. THAT is great fatherhood in my opinion.

[maynie]

Anonymous wrote:I know this is not about dads but. . .

I was in Whole Foods four years ago, and saw a very tall, rugged dad shopping with his little boy, about three, dressed in a camoflauge shirt and jeans. He was sitting in the front of the cart, happily swinging his feet. On these little feet were sparkly ruby slippers, probably from a Wizard of Oz costume.

I complimented the little boy on his shoes. He smiled, and the dad said, "They are his sister's, and he just loves them. What are you going to do?" And he didn't seem the least bit frustrated. Just stated it matter of factly.

It warmed my heart. THAT is great fatherhood in my opinion.

Haha. That's so cute. Great story.

[SurelyYouNest]

OK, this is too sweet not to join in.

Things I love about moms I know:

I love the stay at home mom with 3 kids under the age of 5 whose little boy peed right out the leg of his shorts in the feed store who did not even get one iota of upset with her boy or even try to clean it up, just moved right along patting his head. I love laid back parenting.

I love the mom with a little girl who had unexplained seizures for days when she was one that only showed up like a little frozen blip in her expression. This was a working mom who asked her nanny if she saw them (she didn't) and then pressed on even though everyone she talked to thought she was imagining things. When the doc confirmed it -- when he gave her the meds-- he said how astonished he was that she picked it up, that most kids weren't diagnosed until age 7 or 8 when they can articulate themselves better. I love moms who are so in tune with their kids and don't doubt their hunches.

I love the mom who called her own mom, sobbing, from the ambulance when her kid was on the way to the ER because his bronchitis made his lungs collapse and her tiny one year old baby was in danger. I love moms who need and love their moms *and* their babies. Also stories that turn out well (the baby is fine).

I love the mom who's agonizing about whether or not her child is struggling with a physical/developmental barrier to writing, who's not sure whether she should push her kindergartner or even do anything about it because she believes so wholeheartedly in play and social/emotional growth but also is competitive and the other kids are writing! writing words! why isn't my kid writing stories! and yet she has the most amazing imagination! I love moms who are smart and empathic and love their kids and realize the part our adult egos play in parenting.

I love the mom who's raised her one child solo and vents to me about how her daughter argues with her constantly or worse, ignores her and doesn't visit or call (I am the one with daughter's remorse, trying to explain the madness of being an evil, unappreciative child) and still does things like quietly take a second job just as she could retire ("just for 8 more years") so she can send her daughter to graduate school, or help her buy a house. I love moms who sacrifice uncomplainingly and continue to love their kids even when their children are ingrates (thanks, mom!).

I love the mom who talked me into sharing her community garden with her even though I fought tooth and nail telling her I didn't have time, the mom who calmly got me down there with my 2 kids in the dirt and sat back, smiling, as we all got to plant lettuce seeds and muck about. Who cares if we grow anything? I love moms who reach out and connect with other moms in the fog of parenting.

I love the moms in my neighborhood I barely knew who brought me meals and hand-me-downs when I had my first child.

I love the dad who lives by the dog park who, when we walked by with our newborn (mind you we'd walked by 5,000 times with our dog before this) in the bjorn, RAN out of his house, yelling, "Congratulations! I'm Sam's dad!" like he was welcoming me to the friendliest subculture on Earth, which he of course was: kind parents.

[Anonymous]

That's awesome, PP. You sound like a cool chick yourself. Love the last one with the dad! Love this thread!