Why even bother having kids? (Flame away)-- nanny ad, hours 3:30-8pm

[Anonymous]

I know this is judgmental and flameworthy, but I saw this ad on my neighborhood listserv the other day and I thought it was really sad.

We're looking for a nanny to work Monday through Thursdays from 3:30 pm to 8pm.

We have three children: 5, 3, and 1. Duties include playing/refereeing, cooking/serving the kids dinner, bathing them, and restoring order afterwards, as well as occasional shuttling between activities and playdates.

We're in search of someone who is willing to work on the books; a decent cook capable of sneaking in a vegetable here and there; adept at creating games and activities; looking for a long-term family; and both a nurturing caregiver and a civilizing force.

I guess this means both parents work FT until 8pm and will make it home just in time for bed? It's possible they just want a nanny and one of the parents will be home at the same time. But there are some things I wouldn't want to contract out every night...like having dinner with my kids and bathtime?

Is this common around here? Most of the working professional parents I know, one person manages to be home by 5-6pm to be with the kids for dinner/bath/bedtime. Kind of sad if both parents miss it.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they work so late M-Th so they can have Fridays off with their kids. Either way, you don't know enough to judge these people.

[Anonymous]

Maybe one parent works second shift and the other parent is disabled.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they work shifts. Maybe they have really inflexible jobs they can't change in this market, and it's the best they can do.

Do you also teach your kids to judge others?

[Anonymous]

I don't get that impression at all. Someone must be home w/the 1 y.o. until 3:30, and I assumed it was a parent who probably works a swing shift-type schedule. I kind of like the way the ad was written.

[Anonymous]

I googled the people and they are not working swing shifts, they are both highly-paid professionals (think lawyer/consultant). Not firefighter, nurse, etc.

[Anonymous]

Please...everyone has judge-y thoughts (didn't you see that thread, "what are your most flameworthy opinions?). I didn't say it was right to judge but I can't help what I think, and this is an annonymous board.

[Anonymous]

Ever heard the expression "Something's got to give"? When people have kids, they really need to change their lives. Some make big changes (maybe one parent decides to SAH) and some make smaller changes (one parent leaves for work earlier so they can get home earlier). I am a parent and former nanny and have worked for families who choose to keep up their fast paced, high stress lifestyles after the kids come along. They usually have the money to hire someone (or two or three) decent to care for their kids but I wonder how the kids feel when they get older that they never really spend real time with their parents. I try not to judge but I've seen quite a few kids who don't see their parents at all during the week. I just don't see how this is healthy for a family.

[Anonymous]

Careful, you know what they say when you assume...

There are 3 little kids and my experience has been that in that timeframe, it's the "witching hour"-- an extra pair of hands doing some or all of those tasks would sure make for a happier and more engaged parent. Also, it's nice NOT to have to load everyone up in the car to pick up/drop off one kid, run an errand, etc. Just pointing out that you don't really know the situation so be glad you're not missing out on the things that are important to you.

Peace out.

[Anonymous]

Maybe its just someone who knows that a 5,3 and 1 YO is a tough combination in those evening "witching" hours and could use a helping hand during that time.
MYOB and stop judging. As a mom of a 2 YO and a 2 month old, I really wish I had a helping hand in the evening...!

[Anonymous]

I stay at home with my children, but previously worked long hours - as in, I was home at 10pm, after DS was in daycare full-time and put to bed by DH! Not a happy moment in my life.

Do not judge until you walk in their shoes.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the mom or dad works part-time afternoons 4 days a week and spends all other hours with his/her kids (at least one of the kids, probably two, maybe three don't go to school).

So, you have a problem with a parent working 18 hours a week?!

Yep - you are a presumptious, judgmental person who should take a good look at him/herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I googled the people and they are not working swing shifts, they are both highly-paid professionals (think lawyer/consultant). Not firefighter, nurse, etc.

How on earth do you know their working hours/schedule from googling them? There are plenty of highly-paid professionals who work unusual hours. I'm a consultant working part-time hours. In fact, I did a summer working exactly those hours. It was perfect - I had great one-on-one time with my kids in the morning/early afternoon, then handed over to the nanny for the witching hours, 4 days a week.

You presume way too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they work shifts. Maybe they have really inflexible jobs they can't change in this market, and it's the best they can do.

Do you also teach your kids to judge others?

Listen up, OP, nobody on DCUM EVER judges anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I googled the people and they are not working swing shifts, they are both highly-paid professionals (think lawyer/consultant). Not firefighter, nurse, etc.

You googled these people? javascript:emoticon('');
I think I'm more worried about you than them.