DCUM in the Washington City Paper

[jsteele]

Go read this:

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/articles/40290/dc-mommy-fight-site/

Then, come back and discuss.

[Anonymous]

Thought this was a good article, but I think it is worth saying, and I wish the author would have said it, that for every 15-20 page drama-filled post there are 5 that don't erupt into drama and which are really just parents helping parents. There are also a number of more "popular" posts that are very kind and supportive- I'm thinking of the mom whose baby had to go on an NG tube, and also the woman whose benefits would not cover a medically needed d&c (I think I recall that's what happened anyhow). Don't get me wrong though, I come back for the drama . Was especially glad to get the website for Adequate Parent. I've always enjoyed her posts here, and I definitely would proudly add myself to the ranks of Adequate Parents everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Ditto. Mildly entertaining but it should have touched on the massive support found throughout this site. Another adequate parent fan here.

[Anonymous]

Sounds about right to me, lol.

[Anonymous]

I agree that it was well written. I admit, I would be back every single day if it wasn't for the crazy overly dramatic posters. This site is entertaining 95%, useful 5%. I always leave feeling better about my life. I've got it pretty good compared to most of you!

[Anonymous]

*wouldn't be back*

I'm surprised she didn't mention the grammar police!

[Anonymous]

Wow. I have to admit I read almost every thread discussed. However, it sounded less like a guilty pleasure it is, than spending time with mean people.

I too have learned with some amazement about WIPPSI, the "right preschools", stereotypes about baby gear, and read many WAHM/SAHM debates. The train wrecks can be delightful, even (especially?) the vitriolic ones.

But I've also learned useful stuff about sleep training, fun weekend activities, that my husband and in laws are actually priceless, and had an education in parenting special needs children. And Oh yeah, and totally confirmed my decision to go with daycare instead of a nanny.

I enjoy reading an online discussion where so many are articulate and thoughtful and talking about issues close to my life. Often with humor. So, I think I'll keep at it.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:Thought this was a good article, but I think it is worth saying, and I wish the author would have said it, that for every 15-20 page drama-filled post there are 5 that don't erupt into drama and which are really just parents helping parents. There are also a number of more "popular" posts that are very kind and supportive- I'm thinking of the mom whose baby had to go on an NG tube, and also the woman whose benefits would not cover a medically needed d&c (I think I recall that's what happened anyhow). Don't get me wrong though, I come back for the drama . Was especially glad to get the website for Adequate Parent. I've always enjoyed her posts here, and I definitely would proudly add myself to the ranks of Adequate Parents everywhere.

I think maybe because she has only used the site for a month or so she didn't have a chance to see the more helpful side. It can be drowned out. But, for as bad as the fights are here, there are frequent displays of almost astounding kindness. The only real error was her description of me as the founder of DCUM. I'm not clever enough to have come up with such an idea. That honor goes to my wife and a friend of hers.

I'm also an Adequate Parent fan.

[Anonymous]

I think this was the most insightful sentence in the article:

"She saw a disconnect between the reality she knew, where parents don’t care much about others’ small, mundane choices, and the DCUM world where mothers argued about what other mothers might be doing to harm their children."


Because this site is not reality. We don't really live this way (at least I don't). It's a separate world and that's one of the reasons it's so addictive -- you can't get it anywhere else.

[Anonymous]

I think the signal-to-noise ratio varies based on which forum you are reading/posting on. Too bad the author didn't capture that nuance.

[Anonymous]

Oh my word.

I started the flame thread referenced in the article - though I really didn't read most of the replies but saw how crazy it got.

I have been reading DCUM for 8 years because I was a nanny who used to advertise on the list serve. I don't actually have children yet.

I just told my husband about the surrealness of being quoted in the paper for that post, which I certainly never meant to go beyond this website. He thinks I am crazy for posting on DCUM but knows that I read it daily. So weird to see that thread quoted in the paper though!

[Anonymous]

I thought the article was pretty evenhanded. Non-moms are in fact astonished at the vitriol that erupts over tiny differences of parenting choices and styles and such.

And it was great to see Adequate Parent get some love, besides from her existing fan-base. GO AP!!!! (which is not the same as going to the A&P)

[Anonymous]

I thought no one was allowed to publish a quote from DCUM. Not sure why I thought that.

[Anonymous]

Loved the article! I think she perfectly captured the HOLY-SHIT feeling all newbies get when they spend some time on here for the first time. It's awesome. I'm totally addicted to DCUm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought no one was allowed to publish a quote from DCUM. Not sure why I thought that.

I think the issue is quoting from posts made on the mailing list vs. the public forums.