Forum Index
»
Off-Topic
How do you make right with your kid after you've screwed up?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| My almost 4 year old and I were wrestling around and I was tickling him. Apparently he'd had enough because he reached up and grabbed a huge handful of my wet hair at the temple. It hurt so bad that I saw stars and I.... bit him. I BIT him. "No biting" is a cardinal rule in our house because he was a serial biter up until 8 months ago. I simply can't believe I did it. I apologized profusely and I put myself into a time out. How do I put this right? |
Anonymous
|
I don't have a 4 year old, so I can't respond to how to communicate (or not) with him... but I can offer the suggestion that you forgive yourself. You clearly are guilt ridden, and that should mean you understand that what you did was wrong.
But you also need to forgive yourself and move on from this. I suspect the advice from other parents of this age children will be the same, because I'm guessing keeping on about this incident with your DC will only hinder his ability to forgive and move on... but seriously, life it too short to get hung up on stuff like this. Forgive and move on. (Good luck to you.) |
Anonymous
DD bit my DW a few months ago. DW kicked her. Sounds like you already did "make it right." Move on; consider it a teaching moment for both of you. Also, be prepared to hear about it...a lot. 
|
Anonymous
Thanks for the kind responses. And 12:51, he already made me call Daddy so he could tell on me. 
|
Anonymous
|
I agree - forgive yourself. I once lost my temper with my then 4yo DS. I didn't bite him, but physically put him on his bed for a time out, a little too hard, and he knocked his head. I felt horrible.
I apologized and talked to him about it - how I lost my temper and will try to never do that again. I tried to use it as a teaching moment. And for me, it was. Because whenever I feel like I am going to lose my patience with him (or his 3 yo brother), I picture how I felt that moment when my son was hurt and I cool down immediately. |
Anonymous
| In addition to apologizing, it's also an opportunity to explain to him that while you always try your best, grown-ups make mistakes too, and you made a mistake and now you feel really sorry about it.. A 4-yr old can understand that. I have told my kids many times that I was wrong, I made a mistake, I regret it, I'm sorry, and I hope to do better next time. |
Anonymous
|
Use it as a teaching moment. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone sometimes forgets to make smart decisions. Mommy made a mistake. Its OK for your child to realize that you are human.
You did the right thing, you apologized. That is the lesson you want your child to learn - when you realize you did something wrong - you apologize. Of course, your true punishment will come the day your son tells some random stranger - or worse - grandparents or a teacher - that mommy bit him. |
Anonymous
| I'm really sorry, but who bites their own kid? I know you must feel bad and you didn't mean it, but I think you need to take an anger management class. |
Anonymous
| Not trying to pile on the OP because I think parenting is insanely hard and it's amazing people don't hit (bite? not so sure...) their kids more often, but tickling can be aggressive even if the kid is laughing. And you definitely don't want to go past the point where they are having fun. If he is giving you signals to stop, then stop immediately. Don't make him pull your hair. |
Anonymous
You forgot to advise OP to call a divorce lawyer and to get to an AA class immediately. 
|
Anonymous
|
I actually thinking biting is a very disturbing and violent response. I just Googled it.
I have never heard of such a thing. It got one mother in the U.K. jailed. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1060305/Mother-jailed-BITING-year-old-son-revenge-hurting-baby-sister.html |
Anonymous
|
I would also move on. He got to tell on daddy, he saw you give yourself a time-out.
Talk to him about it. Tell him that your reaction was wrong. But also teach him, that he needs to be more careful about how he plays/rough houses. That people in pain can't control themselves and don't know what they were doing. I dropped my kid before because he bit me. It's a reaction, it's not like I wanted to drop him or you wanted to bite him. But he's 4, he can learn about reactions while you make it clear, that you did not mean to bite him and you were wrong. |
Anonymous
Good lord. Moron.
|
Anonymous
|
I hope you are current on your rabies shot.
Seriously, you bit your kid? It sounds so wolf-like. I'm trying not to laugh, but there's something really humorous about the situation. |
Anonymous
|
Sorry but a parent biting a child is something that Child Protection Services might investigate if someone called -- even if a reflexive response to a child inflicting pain is understandable.
I feel for OP, but that's the objective reality. |