Moms with 2 kids (or more) close together- how did you handle pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

We have a 7 month old and are already thinking we'd like to try for a second in the next 6 months or so. I am on the older side and we would like as many kids as possible.
For those of you who had kids close together, how did you handle pregnancy? I had a miserable pregnancy with my first, exhausted like most people are but also had zero physical energy and was puking for 4 months. Silly question but how did you lift your kids with a huge belly and limited mobility? I had a hard time carrying groceries 7 months pregnant, let alone a toddler?
Thanks

[Anonymous]

I wish I had a better answer, but really, you just do it. My kids are 15 months apart and I just barely realized I was pregnant the 2nd time. I was so busy with #1 and work, etc., that I was tired anyway and couldnt attribute it to pregnancy vs life in general.

[Anonymous]

Mine are 14 months apart and unlike PP, I definitely knew I was pregnant! Felt like total crap the entire time - much worse than the first pregnancy because you can't just collapse in the couch when you need to. And I was only 30- 31 at the time. But you just have to muddle through and do your best, and accept that "good enough" is ok. Let certain things fall by the wayside (like a perfectly clean house, etc.) and get through the pregnancy.

I'm pregnant now, at 40, and it's harder at this age, and I just keep thinking, thank goodness I'm not chasing a toddler around! My kids are 10, 9, and 6, and today I let them watch TV while I took a desperately needed nap. Being pregnant and caring for a baby/toddler is tough, but you will survive.

[Anonymous]

I am pregnant and my DD is only 11mths old. They will be 18mths apart and I am wondering the same thing, OP. It's been 3mths but wow---what a haze. And Im the mom who posted about her 11mths old weighing 25.6lbs. I can barely carry her now. i dont know how it will work when I get bigger--and i dont mean carry her because I dont want to put her in a stroller but do things like lift her out of the bath tub. Eeeks.

[Anonymous]

I am about to have #2, and #1 is 22 months. The first trimester was so hard since I was so tired and sick so much, but with tv, that helps alot! Carrying is easy as long as you can carry #1 now. ds is almost 28 pounds now, but i am so used to lifting him, its not a problem- very unlike my first pregnancy when I would not lift a thing. I try not to carry him very much, but pick him up without hesitation- really, you just do it cause you have to

[Anonymous]

I am also about to have #2 and DS is 17 months. Like everyone else, you just do it. My first pregnancy was super easy...this one has been totally different. Was exhausted and sick most of the first trimester. Tried to give what little energy I had to my DS. Relied on my DH for a lot and is doing a great job picking up my slack. 2nd trimester was relatively easy. Now in the very last weeks of my third trimester I have a hard time picking up my toddler. We worked a lot with him on climbing stairs so I wouldn't have to carry him up, he's in daycare full-time even though I only work PT because it is very hard (and almost impossible) for me to keep him physcially engaged all day by myself and I spend a lot of time doing quiet, sitting activities with him....reading books, playing with puzzles, blocks, etc. DH chases him around the playground, goes down the slide with him, wrestles, etc.

[Anonymous]

Hmmmm, well, I ended up pregnant with twins when my baby was only about 13 months old. Same as you, I wanted as many kids as possible because I'm not young. Didn't expect twins though!

Problem is, with twin pregnancies you go on bed rest, which means you can't carry your baby and can't spend much time with him/her. It has been so tough... And, I'm huge, can't work, and can barely get around.... Good luck.

[Anonymous]

My kids have a 2 yr difference and I'm older- I would have done this sooner had I had gotten pregnant sooner- but 2 yrs difference is great and they are healthy. You just do it- I was so busy with my first child that my second pregnancy just blew by- though I did ask to be induced at 39 weeks since it hurt so much to walk etc. It also helped with making sure my eldest wasn't dragged oput of bed in the middle of the night.. You do it- and amazingly, my second pregnancy is more of a blur- but I'm just SO happy we even have two healthy kids!

[Anonymous]

I have two that are now 18 months apart (the youngest is now 1.5 months). It's hard. Very hard. I'm still dealing with newborn sleep issues, etc., so it's even harder now and I'm completely exhausted. Not to mention we have two in diapers. During pregnancy, I lifted my oldest...I had to. I also worked full time, so it was a very exhausting 9 months, put it that way. In hindsight, I wish I had waited until #1 was a little more independent before contemplating #2. It would have been nice for him to be potty trained, more independent, etc. I think a lot depends on your individual circumstances, too. Will you be working full-time and pregnant and having to chase after #1? How helpful/supportive is your partner? My DH isn't/wasn't involved as much as I would have hoped, so I was doing daycare drop-off and pick-up, and meal prep, laundry for DS and me, and all the usual things I did...in addition to work...and in addition to being pregnant and nauseous, exhausted, etc.

So, the bottom line is...it's a lot of work both during and after the pregnancy, but it's doable....if you have a helpful partner. Also look at your job/work situation. I have no idea how I am going to manage when I go back to work full-time...and will have to care for 2 and my job.

[Anonymous]

PP again - also worth noting that #2 pregnancy for me was a lot more uncomfortable in general. The docs said it's typical due to already-loose ligaments, etc. I had a lot more frequent and more intense round ligament pain and also developed pelvic separation / PSD, which was extremely painful especially in the third trimester. I had no such problems with #1. Also, I developed stretch marks with #2, which I didn't have with #1. Not sure if those things matter to you, but things to consider. Also, post pardum after pains were twice as bad. But, on the bright side, BF is much easier, I have all the baby stuff that's pretty new, and everything about baby care is fresh in memory. And, #1 adores #2 and I am hoping they will be best of friends, once we can get through the first year or two!

[Anonymous]

Ours are 22 months apart. My pregnancy was rough compared to my first... 1st tri was nauseating for 12 straight weeks. Luckily, #1 was still taking short naps after we got home from daycare (wasn't sleeping well at daycare at that point) so I could snooze for 30-45 min after work. If it weren't for that, I don't know what I would have done. 2nd trimester was okay, 3rd trimester was terrible. #1 is a big kid and still wanted to be carried a lot... we spent a lot of playtime in the afternoons laying on the floor playing with toys... mommy was in pain and tired!!

I was in so much pain walking around the last six weeks - baby was pushing down and it was AWFUL. Like PP, I was induced at 39 weeks. First labor was fine, I have big kids, knew this baby would be plenty cooked, was already dilated 4cm and wanted to have childcare plans set for #1 rather than be bolting in the middle of the night. Worked great for us.

Related to your original question, OP... you'll find that holding your first is easy when you have that big belly to rest them on! I kind of miss that shelf. I was lucky that #1 had become pretty independent by the time I was huge... would walk a lot rather than be carried, etc... of course, if you get pregnant now, you won't have that luxury because your #1 would be much younger. Just something to think about!

[Anonymous]

Really you just get through it. Mine are exactly 24 mo. apart & I was sick, sick, sick both pregnancies, but it was more intense the 2nd time around. I needed to take zofran for 4.5months and would just let DS play with whatever he wanted while I rested on the floor! DS #1 is also very big for his age but picking him up was never too much of a problem & ob said it was fine to lift him. It makes it all worth it when you see the 2 kids together, it just melts my heart.

[Anonymous]

I am pregnant and my DD is only 11mths old. They will be 18mths apart and I am wondering the same thing, OP. It's been 3mths but wow---what a haze. And Im the mom who posted about her 11mths old weighing 25.6lbs. I can barely carry her now. i dont know how it will work when I get bigger--and i dont mean carry her because I dont want to put her in a stroller but do things like lift her out of the bath tub. Eeeks.

If you are used to lifting/carrying your child on a regular basis, you should be able to do continue with no problem (unless you have a medical complication with the pregnancy that prevents you from lifting her).

I always continued lifting my other kids while pregnant and they were a lot bigger than yours. You are probably just having difficulty now because of 1st trimester fatigue, which should get better. Heck, I am 8 months pregnant and I still lift my 6-yr old every day & he weighs almost 50 lbs (and I'm 40, so no spring chicken!).

[Anonymous]

I have two 19 months apart and am currently pregnant with #3, who will be 15 months younger than the second one. Yikes. I am lucky in that I have had relatively easy pregnancies, but I do feel exhausted most of the time. It does help to have the oldest one focus on something independently or watch a tv show while I am dealing with the younger one, but I do bathe them together. Of course, when my husband is home he will help put one or both to bed. Otherwise I just feel so tired! I work from home during the day with the kids at daycare, so I use that time to recover a little bit, or at least put my feet up.

I think it would be a lot harder if I was throwing up all the time or having a more difficult pregnancy. The good news is the pregnancy seems to go by faster because I am so busy with the other kids.

[Anonymous]

I can't comment on what the above posters have said, -- I wish I had had two children close in age but unfortunately it didn't work that quickly for us... just to point out, esp. if you are older (as I am too), that even if you plan for two close in age may actually wind up meaning they are father apart than you had anticipated. You're probably aware of that already -- maybe just one scenaior if you start tryign to conceive now that they are close in age -- but thoughht i would point it out just in case! Goodl uck with whatever you decide.