4th grade boys--are they all jerks?

[Anonymous]

I just came back from a presentation at my child's school. It involved kids doing mini presentations on group projects. Little stations for each group set up around the room. When I got to my child's group and listened attentively to their different dialogues, and then asked a few polite questions in follow up, one of the boys --whom I've never even met--leaned over to another boy in the group and said, "Johnny's mom is even scarier than Johnny is!". It was loud. I heard it. He repeated it to the boy. So, I addressed by saying, "well, Johnny isn't scary and neither am I--what a silly thing to say.".

But, I was still put off by the whole comment. Are they all just idiots running their mouth at any chance? This kid never even met me! Johnny is small for his age/grade and has a heart of gold--that's not rose colored glasses, he can be an idiot from time to time, but, otherwise is genuinely kind and sweet- saying he wants to be "a helper" when he grows up and help homeless people-- and I am a petite unthreatening lady myself.

I guess my rub is that I would have never dreamed of saying something rude about another child's parent in a not discreet volume and in proximity to said parent when I was a child. Obviously there is no follow up, and this is mostly a rant, but, gosh!

[Anonymous]

You do sound scary OP. To be this put off by a comment from a 4th grader is unhinged.

[Anonymous]

No OP, they are not all jerks. I know some very sweet ones.

But in every group of humans at every age there are jerks. Worry more about if your family is one than the annoying kids in your child's grade.

[Anonymous]

I also get upset when my daughter's classmates say whatever they want to me about her. It's not fun to hear.

[Anonymous]

You sound unhinged jaanice

[Anonymous]

The child doesn't sound like a jerk. Sometimes the truth is just hard to hear, OP.

[Anonymous]

My 4th grade boy is not a jerk, but I would estimate that 30-40% of his classmates / teammates are. They are pushing boundaries and figuring out social stuff. I think it’s great that you said something back to him. Most of them will grow out of it.

My SIL married a man who had kids from his first marriage and the boys were 9 and 11 when we first met them. Mine were 2 and 4 at the time and I remember telling my husband “goodness help us if this is our future because these kids are soooooo annoying”. They are not jerks or annoying any more, they are really great teens actually that are polite and able to have interesting conversations.

[Anonymous]

This is no big deal. Huh? “Scary” here could me that you asked them hard questions. Who cares.

[Anonymous]

^^^ could *mean

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 4th grade boy is not a jerk, but I would estimate that 30-40% of his classmates / teammates are. They are pushing boundaries and figuring out social stuff. I think it’s great that you said something back to him. Most of them will grow out of it.

My SIL married a man who had kids from his first marriage and the boys were 9 and 11 when we first met them. Mine were 2 and 4 at the time and I remember telling my husband “goodness help us if this is our future because these kids are soooooo annoying”. They are not jerks or annoying any more, they are really great teens actually that are polite and able to have interesting conversations.

+1 on this OP. If my 4th grader (who is a girl, but still) said something negative about really anyone out loud in class, I would want her to be corrected. Gossip, especially loud gossip, is not OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 4th grade boy is not a jerk, but I would estimate that 30-40% of his classmates / teammates are. They are pushing boundaries and figuring out social stuff. I think it’s great that you said something back to him. Most of them will grow out of it.

My SIL married a man who had kids from his first marriage and the boys were 9 and 11 when we first met them. Mine were 2 and 4 at the time and I remember telling my husband “goodness help us if this is our future because these kids are soooooo annoying”. They are not jerks or annoying any more, they are really great teens actually that are polite and able to have interesting conversations.

I think this is accurate, or it's even more. Young males have figured out that power structures are all around them and impact nearly everything. And they're trying to have power. But for a lot of them, all they know how to do is piss other people off.

[Anonymous]

How dare you call young kids idiots you 🐷

[Anonymous]

I don't know. This would bother me too. Kid sounds like a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Not all but many.

[Anonymous]

I feel like kids in general often have no filter. They might not realize what they say comes across as mean or rude, so I think gentle correction/commentary is fine. I would try not to feel offended by it though.