DH depressed over his career
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Anonymous
| DH is 47 and since the start of this year he has been very depressed over his career. He is an Adjunct professor in Math at a community college. I am the higher earning spouse and he does the lion share of raising the kids and running the household. Suddenly he has been comparing himself to his peers and lamenting that he has wasted his talent all these years. And he has been threatening to quit his job and start over. He only has a master's degree in Math and I honestly don't think he understands how difficult it will be for him to make a transition from the public sector to the private sector at 47. And his degree in such a dry subject I am not sure he will get calls for interviews which will make him even more depressed. I want to help him with this transition as he has made his mind to quit but at least he will do so once he gets a new job. Any advice to navigate this? Career change at 47 is not easy ageism is real and his current teaching experience I am not sure it will help him much. |
Anonymous
| What kind of job is he aiming for? |
Anonymous
| He should not have stayed an adjunct. That is not a full-time career. I was an adjunct part time from age 23 to 26 and I decided I was going to stop doing it because the pay is way too low and I was not contributing to that wage situation and high education that is completely flawed and is not a livable wage for the amount of work. I am now 46. I have not been an adjunct for 20 years. It is a dead end job. His only option at this point is teaching high school math. |
Anonymous
| Depends on the network he can leverage. |
Anonymous
| He should teach HS and get a pension. Or apply to federal government. |
Anonymous
| Teach high school or middle school. |
Anonymous
| 47 is not old. He has twenty working years ahead of him. |
Anonymous
|
If he can do the hard quant stuff behind ai or analytics, it will not he hard for him to transition AT ALL. There are tons of certificates programs he could use to pivot.
If his field of math is something without monetizable applications or if he’s not willing to compromise, yes, it will be harder. |
Anonymous
He wants a job as a data analyst. He thinks somehow within a couple of years he can be a senior data analyst. While I nake enough for us to live comfortably so he can afford to take risks I feel like he may end up even more depressed if it doesn't work out. He took the job as an Adjunct because we decided at the time it was best if he stayed home while I work. It's not the pay for us, he is just feeling worthless suddenly that at 47 he is not VP like some of his friends and has been making comments directed at me... |
Anonymous
The stay at home gig does not work for me ....sooner or later then will throw it in your face that they have made all these sacrifices etc.. Women seem to embrace that role more |
Anonymous
| Firat 47 is not old. If he is 47 and looks 75 that's a different story. But if he is smart, enthusiastic, and excited to embark on a new journey someone will give him a chance. It may take him 1 year to have that job as a data analyst (which I would not recommend because it's so low level and kind of dead end). Best of luck to you both. |
Anonymous
+1. It's rate for men to sacrifice their career so their wives can thrive in hers even it's in the best interest of the family. As men we are just conditioned to be the go getters |
Anonymous
| He should go for it, but high school math teacher should be plan B. Being an adjunct was a dumb idea, I sympathize and can understand his frustration. |
Anonymous
|
Teaching only.if he has the personality for it.
He should look into federal data analyst roles. Great quality of life and middling pay, good benefits. |
Anonymous
| Encourage him. Help him put a plan together as far as the skills he needs etc...We are so lucky to live in this country because we have a very dynamic economy. While we do not have the job security that Europeans enjoy we have the advantage of a job market with plenty of jobs because people get fired/hired continuouy |