Do you think there is a such thing as marrying too fast?

[Anonymous]

My BIL started dating a girl in another state. She is graduating from grad school. BIL is already thinking marriage. I feel like they barely know one another. She has not even visited him once. She has not met any of his friends or family. Dating someone for 2-3 months seems way too soon.

I feel like it takes at least a year to get to know someone, especially someone you may marry and have a family with.

[Anonymous]

He's only "thinking" it.

Relax.

[Anonymous]

What are their ages and relationship experience levels? What's their SES/class status?

In general, I'd say anything short of 6 months to decide to get married is too soon.

[Anonymous]

Of course there is.

He sounds like he's in love and may not be thinking fully rationally.

[Anonymous]

Of course. What idiot marries someone without having met them? For all he knows he's being catfished.

[Anonymous]

Well, yeah, it takes longer than a few months to get to know someone. My guess is that the new girlfriend is a bit out of BIL's league. That causes men to dream of marriage; when men who are a 6 meet a woman who is an 8 they want to lock it down.

So I wouldn't worry about it, because she probably won't end up marrying him anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My BIL started dating a girl in another state. She is graduating from grad school. BIL is already thinking marriage. I feel like they barely know one another. She has not even visited him once. She has not met any of his friends or family. Dating someone for 2-3 months seems way too soon.

I feel like it takes at least a year to get to know someone, especially someone you may marry and have a family with.

There's the problem. What you feel is 100% irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

I went to a wedding where bride and groom had known each other under a month! Not a shotgun marriage and they are still married 40 years later.

[Anonymous]

I got engaged 4 months after meeting my husband, and we got married 10 months after our first date. We’ve been married for nearly 21 years now! ♥️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My BIL started dating a girl in another state. She is graduating from grad school. BIL is already thinking marriage. I feel like they barely know one another. She has not even visited him once. She has not met any of his friends or family. Dating someone for 2-3 months seems way too soon.

I feel like it takes at least a year to get to know someone, especially someone you may marry and have a family with.

How is your BIL’s love life any of your business?

[Anonymous]

I would say not having met her is too soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say not having met her is too soon.

BIL is DH’s only brother. My kids have no first cousins. This woman would be a part of our lives. BIL is the only local family we have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say not having met her is too soon.

BIL is DH’s only brother. My kids have no first cousins. This woman would be a part of our lives. BIL is the only local family we have.

OMG. Stop judging and making weirdly aggressive assumptions about this woman's future effect on your family and ability as a mother to your children's cousins before you have even met her (before BIL has really met her? that wasn't clear?). Seriously -- you need to MYOB. BIL isn't the problem here, nor is his gf. You are, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say not having met her is too soon.

BIL is DH’s only brother. My kids have no first cousins. This woman would be a part of our lives. BIL is the only local family we have.

How old is BIL?. Does he generally have good judgement or is he naive? Is he open to listening to brothers advice?

Would you be open to meeting her?. Just you and DH? Like for a double date?

[Anonymous]

Is she out of his league? That often makes men obsessive about nailing down the relationship.