Sibling is moving to a developing country with high crime

[Anonymous]

I just want some advice on how to feel comfortable with it. I know bad things can happen to people even in safe places. But I can’t help but feel apprehensive about it.

How do you support someone in this? I know what I’m feeling is a reflection of my own issues (anxiety). Curious if anyone has dealt with this.

[Anonymous]

You stop using your sibling as a distraction from your own life and problems. And therapy.

[Anonymous]

Do you live in DC? Others would consider it a high-crime area, but you just consider it home, right? I've read about Australians and Asians who say they are afraid to come to the US and get shot, but whatever anxiety we may have, we don't live in constant fear, right?

[Anonymous]

OP, I get it. I'd feel the same way, especially coming from a developing country I'd never go back to.

[Anonymous]

This seems like enmeshment. Your sibling is completely separate from you. You don’t get to decide where your sibling lives. Stay in your lane.

[Anonymous]

Can you name the country?

[Anonymous]

Did your parents make you into a mini parent? You realize the US is a very dangerous country? Agree you need therapy.

[Anonymous]

Not your decision to make or “be OK with.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want some advice on how to feel comfortable with it. I know bad things can happen to people even in safe places. But I can’t help but feel apprehensive about it.

How do you support someone in this? I know what I’m feeling is a reflection of my own issues (anxiety). Curious if anyone has dealt with this.

That depends. Can you say which country? With some countries, your concerns may be justified. With others, it may be your anxiety talking. I would start with the facts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not your decision to make or “be OK with.”

OP never said this.

[Anonymous]

Bet your sibling will be happy you'll never visit

[Anonymous]

OP - I have not said anything to my sibling about this move. I do not give any unsolicited advice to people, ever. But I seriously wonder, you guys have never felt uncomfortable with a decision made by a loved one?

I am not trying to be a "parent" or "control" my sibling. I sincerely don't know what to say to them though.

[Anonymous]

How does that country's gun-death murder rate stack up against the US? More? Less?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I have not said anything to my sibling about this move. I do not give any unsolicited advice to people, ever. But I seriously wonder, you guys have never felt uncomfortable with a decision made by a loved one?

I am not trying to be a "parent" or "control" my sibling. I sincerely don't know what to say to them though.

Sure, I've felt uncomfortable. I've never had to crowd source ways to get over myself. Is your sibling excited? Then you be excited for them. FWIW, I lived in an "unsafe" country. Sure, some parts were. But I didn't live near those parts and I never felt unsafe. Its like someone saying all of Mexico is dangerous. Its not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I have not said anything to my sibling about this move. I do not give any unsolicited advice to people, ever. But I seriously wonder, you guys have never felt uncomfortable with a decision made by a loved one?

I am not trying to be a "parent" or "control" my sibling. I sincerely don't know what to say to them though.

Sure, I've felt uncomfortable. I've never had to crowd source ways to get over myself. Is your sibling excited? Then you be excited for them. FWIW, I lived in an "unsafe" country. Sure, some parts were. But I didn't live near those parts and I never felt unsafe. Its like someone saying all of Mexico is dangerous. Its not.

Would you say the same about Colombia? Comparable homicide rates, but Mexico seems different since it has a ton of tourism