Colicky baby - out of the box ideas

[Anonymous]

Put the baby to nap on her tummy with you sitting next to the baby, rhythmically patting her bum. My mom was a godsend with our colicky baby and did this. Sitting nearby and constant patting. Baby will fall asleep so you should stay nearby.

[Anonymous]

Op
Elecare seems to be working!
Using a gel mix instead of rice cereal helped stop vomiting.
Still not getting much sleep but he seems less distressed overall.
Poop less black which is a good sign.

My sister came to help me and she said he's very cute. (Don't worry. I find him really cute right now, now that my sister held him all day.)
But when she said that, it was after another rough night, and I wasnt feeling particularly adoring. I asked her what she finds cute about him. She said he talks so sweetly. She's right, he was constantly making little noises. I personally interpreted these little noises as him constantly complaining lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Op
Elecare seems to be working!
Using a gel mix instead of rice cereal helped stop vomiting.
Still not getting much sleep but he seems less distressed overall.
Poop less black which is a good sign.

My sister came to help me and she said he's very cute. (Don't worry. I find him really cute right now, now that my sister held him all day.)
But when she said that, it was after another rough night, and I wasnt feeling particularly adoring. I asked her what she finds cute about him. She said he talks so sweetly. She's right, he was constantly making little noises. I personally interpreted these little noises as him constantly complaining lol.

Glad it's getting better OP, hope this continues! My younger one was colicky + reacted to dairy so I couldn't eat any dairy and had to use special formula for supplementation + had a ruptured hemangioma that was causing pain and it was just so, so challenging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Op
Elecare seems to be working!
Using a gel mix instead of rice cereal helped stop vomiting.
Still not getting much sleep but he seems less distressed overall.
Poop less black which is a good sign.

My sister came to help me and she said he's very cute. (Don't worry. I find him really cute right now, now that my sister held him all day.)
But when she said that, it was after another rough night, and I wasnt feeling particularly adoring. I asked her what she finds cute about him. She said he talks so sweetly. She's right, he was constantly making little noises. I personally interpreted these little noises as him constantly complaining lol.

So, so happy to hear this, OP. Both the help and a formula working. Fabulous.

[Anonymous]

Screaming again, for four hours now
It's definitely Trump's fault
He's gaining weight and otherwise fine so it doesn't matter that he's back to black tar poop


He did smile for the first time on Friday. Not to me, who holds him most nights. Not his father, who puts up with him the rest of the time.

No. I took him screaming to the dry cleaners to pick up something. He stopped screaming and gave the lady a gorgeous smile. Didn't start screaming again until we left. She didn't speak English, so there is now one person in the universe who thinks he is a smiling happy baby

Maybe the dryer person was on to something. I will have to see if I need anything else dry cleaned. Or maybe she'd like some company while doing laundry.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP, so sorry to hear that and I wish I had advice that helps as the parent of a former colic baby. I can mostly only offer commiseration and some assurance that might help. Unfortunately through my own experience and over time I find that a lot of online advice about true colic crying with respect to certain interventions is not really that good or evidence based. If you have been cleared by medical providers most of what I can offer is strategies for your own mental state. But obviously if your instinct or patterns tell you something is truly wrong please don’t hesitate to contact medical advice.

-my baby slowly grew out of the colic crying over the first 4-5 months. I know it does seem like a long time but the time will pass. And there will still be a lot of “baby” stage time that will be more enjoyable for all.

-I know one of my main fears was like…the baby will start the colic crying and will somehow never stop. But really the baby can only do it for a few hours (which is horrific enough I know) before the baby eventually needs a deeper sleep. So reminding myself that it was going to end was helpful

-My baby continued to be fairly high needs, fussy, and cried and woke frequently but was able to be soothed much easier. So that was a big difference from the colic times

-there is some research that a certain percentage of infants have inconsolable crying and this may be linked to certain neurological pathways that are immature and basically just like make the baby be in a crying loop. I know all over the internet and this thread people will say “colic is a symptom! You need to try xyz! Advocate for your baby.” Unfortunately that may not be true, and it can worsen the mental state of the parent as they continue to pursue unnecessary interventions. I want to walk a fine line here because you should always rely on medical providers who have seen your child, but I can tell you that nothing is “wrong” with my former colic baby now. I felt like providers were mostly helpful in guiding me with this and the risks of interventions. I personally decided not to use any reflux medications (my baby did also have severe reflux) or pursue any oral tie revisions. I do not regret this.

-The “eat, sleep, play” schedule advice and independent sleep ladder stuff is really really bad advice for a colic baby, please forget all of that. Now is not the time to worry about any habits. Your child will calm down at some time in the future and it will be easier to build from that point on. Right now, feed to sleep and hold the baby when you can, set up an area for yourself to do so and relax. Lay the baby down when the baby is in a deep sleep (arm is floppy) by clasping them tightly to your body until they contact the bassinet. Then slowly lift your upper body while your arms remain in a “nest” around the baby. Then you will slowly remove yourself from there. Once my baby could push up and crawl, I got a floor bed for us because the crib was too low and I felt more comfortable then that the most risk had passed. Probably around late infancy I could have worked towards independent sleep but I didn’t choose to because I found our system relaxing enough and didn’t want to mess with it.

-It is scary and hard to deal with inconsolable newborn crying. There is a national maternal health hotline that you can call or text 24/7 for support. This is a good option at night or if you need someone to talk to: https://mchb.hrsa.gov/national-maternal-mental-health-hotline

-outdoor light and stimulation may help. Even just walking outside and standing there. At night or when it was too cold (my baby was born in the winter), turning on the fan and shower in the bathroom sometimes helped as well. When the baby is calm, enjoy yourself and place no expectations for contrast cards or Montessori learning or whatever else you see. Tummy time can be done on your chest. I had extreme guilt about this but needed to survive, thankfully my baby crawled at 5 months and pulled to stand at 6 months by some kind of miracle. Otherwise I would have gotten more serious about it around that time.

You can do this. You love your baby and you will get through it. There is a lot of joy waiting on the other side.

[Anonymous]

So is it reflux? Are the meds not working?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an extremely colicky one month old baby. Right now on Similac Alimentum.

Looking for out of the box ideas, like, hold him over your head. Sing the star Spangled Banner. I dunno, something to help me get through the hours.

Preferably things that don't require my phone. It's not good for my mental health to spend hours scrolling.

My first was very colicky - like crying all day and night without breaks colicky. My husband had four weeks of leave (he worked during all of them) and then it was just the two of us for 18 weeks until I went back to work. No family help, night nurses, or nannies. This is how I got through it and went on to have two more kids:

- Sleep trained at 14 weeks
- Watched lots of bravo
- Drank lots of coffee
- Worked out every day, both running by myself and walking with the baby and dogs
- Breastfed and supplemented as needed

She stopped crying all the time after 5 months. I wish I had asked for more help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, so sorry to hear that and I wish I had advice that helps as the parent of a former colic baby. I can mostly only offer commiseration and some assurance that might help. Unfortunately through my own experience and over time I find that a lot of online advice about true colic crying with respect to certain interventions is not really that good or evidence based. If you have been cleared by medical providers most of what I can offer is strategies for your own mental state. But obviously if your instinct or patterns tell you something is truly wrong please don’t hesitate to contact medical advice.

-my baby slowly grew out of the colic crying over the first 4-5 months. I know it does seem like a long time but the time will pass. And there will still be a lot of “baby” stage time that will be more enjoyable for all.

-I know one of my main fears was like…the baby will start the colic crying and will somehow never stop. But really the baby can only do it for a few hours (which is horrific enough I know) before the baby eventually needs a deeper sleep. So reminding myself that it was going to end was helpful

-My baby continued to be fairly high needs, fussy, and cried and woke frequently but was able to be soothed much easier. So that was a big difference from the colic times

-there is some research that a certain percentage of infants have inconsolable crying and this may be linked to certain neurological pathways that are immature and basically just like make the baby be in a crying loop. I know all over the internet and this thread people will say “colic is a symptom! You need to try xyz! Advocate for your baby.” Unfortunately that may not be true, and it can worsen the mental state of the parent as they continue to pursue unnecessary interventions. I want to walk a fine line here because you should always rely on medical providers who have seen your child, but I can tell you that nothing is “wrong” with my former colic baby now. I felt like providers were mostly helpful in guiding me with this and the risks of interventions. I personally decided not to use any reflux medications (my baby did also have severe reflux) or pursue any oral tie revisions. I do not regret this.

-The “eat, sleep, play” schedule advice and independent sleep ladder stuff is really really bad advice for a colic baby, please forget all of that. Now is not the time to worry about any habits. Your child will calm down at some time in the future and it will be easier to build from that point on. Right now, feed to sleep and hold the baby when you can, set up an area for yourself to do so and relax. Lay the baby down when the baby is in a deep sleep (arm is floppy) by clasping them tightly to your body until they contact the bassinet. Then slowly lift your upper body while your arms remain in a “nest” around the baby. Then you will slowly remove yourself from there. Once my baby could push up and crawl, I got a floor bed for us because the crib was too low and I felt more comfortable then that the most risk had passed. Probably around late infancy I could have worked towards independent sleep but I didn’t choose to because I found our system relaxing enough and didn’t want to mess with it.

-It is scary and hard to deal with inconsolable newborn crying. There is a national maternal health hotline that you can call or text 24/7 for support. This is a good option at night or if you need someone to talk to: https://mchb.hrsa.gov/national-maternal-mental-health-hotline

-outdoor light and stimulation may help. Even just walking outside and standing there. At night or when it was too cold (my baby was born in the winter), turning on the fan and shower in the bathroom sometimes helped as well. When the baby is calm, enjoy yourself and place no expectations for contrast cards or Montessori learning or whatever else you see. Tummy time can be done on your chest. I had extreme guilt about this but needed to survive, thankfully my baby crawled at 5 months and pulled to stand at 6 months by some kind of miracle. Otherwise I would have gotten more serious about it around that time.

You can do this. You love your baby and you will get through it. There is a lot of joy waiting on the other side.

This is fabulous advice. Every word is perfect. I’m a pp who had psychosis from severe sleep deprivation and probably have true PTSD from dealing with the world’s most sleepless baby/toddler. If I could go back in time, I would have stopped the medical investigations much sooner like this pp suggests. There ended up being no reason for the crying beyond the fact that my daughter is extremely sensitive and high needs. That was it. Everyone told us her extreme fussiness and sleep issues had to have a medical cause, and I spent the first year of her life going to every specialist and getting every test to try to “fix” her. It did not work and depressed me terribly. Some babies are just HARD , cry a f*ck load, and do not sleep.