(New) adult son wants to go to Ibiza

[Anonymous]

How would you handle this? We all know what happens in Ibiza (major party scene). 19 yo son wants to go this summer and has the $$ to do so. I am really against this for many reasons (he can be impulsive and isn’t the strongest when it comes to peer pressure). What leeway do I have as the mom? He of course is using the “I’m an adult” line

[Anonymous]

Umm, he is an adult. You have no say. My son went packing in Europe before he went away to college. He was with a friend and they were fine. Drop the rope.

[Anonymous]

You can book your own trip there yourself and promise to follow him around? What else can you do?

[Anonymous]

You have no leeway. Chill out, he'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

It's not as crazy as you think. I've been and didn't do drugs.

[Anonymous]

Whatever he can do there, he can do here. Only thing you can do is bribe him with something better or threaten to take something away.

I advise instead to treat him like an adult and talk about how to stay out of trouble and how to handle various scenarios.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whatever he can do there, he can do here. Only thing you can do is bribe him with something better or threaten to take something away.

I advise instead to treat him like an adult and talk about how to stay out of trouble and how to handle various scenarios.

Quoting myself to say second paragraph applies no matter where he is, also.

[Anonymous]

You could do the following around thing! Idk at what point that would run afoul of harassment laws or something. Stalking?

[Anonymous]

You can decline to pay for a luxury expense you don't approve of.

[Anonymous]

Tell him he should wait to be at least be 21 to go there... and stick to it.

That would, at least, give you a few more years.

[Anonymous]

It’s really not that crazy! He’ll go to clubs, he’ll drink a lot, he may sleep with a few people. The end.

[Anonymous]

Wow, are you his mom or his parole officer?

He's an adult, has the money, and wants to go. Ask him to check in with you, send pics, and enjoy himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him he should wait to be at least be 21 to go there... and stick to it.

That would, at least, give you a few more years.

Everyone knows only the US has this backwards 21 rule. He 100% knows the legal age is 18 there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, are you his mom or his parole officer?

He's an adult, has the money, and wants to go. Ask him to check in with you, send pics, and enjoy himself.

Really? You are really comparing mom's concerns to a parole officer duties. Geez!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, are you his mom or his parole officer?

He's an adult, has the money, and wants to go. Ask him to check in with you, send pics, and enjoy himself.

Really? You are really comparing mom's concerns to a parole officer duties. Geez!

Yes. Parents should not be trying to exert this kind of control over their adult children. Maybe she can suggest an ankle bracelet for him?