ILs pushing their religion on our family

[Anonymous]

ILs are extremely religious. Every gift for the kids is religious based. DH and I have always been respectful although we don't share the same beliefs. They have started pushing more with texts, emails, books, videos and pulling DH or I aside that we need to find religion. DH is ready to completely cut them off since they can't seem to respect our beliefs. Is there any way to talk to someone like this? No matter how often we say no thank you, they keep pushing.

[Anonymous]

You should simply follow your husband’s lead. He knows them best.

But no, you are not going to change them.

[Anonymous]

I think instead of saying, “no,thank you”, DH needs to tell them something like, “this stops now or we will need to take an extended break from you.” If they break the boundary, then don’t see them for a month or two. Then offer another chance, reminding them of the boundary. Be absolutely clear and firm. When the second chance comes he reminds them, they can’t share their religion with your family or you won’t see them. Don’t argue, debate, whatever. Just set the boundary and keep it.

I hope you don’t have to cut them off totally. Maybe if they get a taste of it they will realize they need to change.

[Anonymous]

Nope

[Anonymous]

I don’t think so mom sure they really believe that you need to be saved
From a life of eternal dammation and that their religion will bring you not only salvation but true happiness. It
Comes from a place of love. And I don’t think they can likely help themselves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so mom sure they really believe that you need to be saved
From a life of eternal dammation and that their religion will bring you not only salvation but true happiness. It
Comes from a place of love. And I don’t think they can likely help themselves

Yes, I definitely think it comes from a place of love and that is why we have always tried to be respectful and I am pushing back on DH wanting to cut ties. I'm leaning towards just continuing to nod my head and smile and have open conversations with my own children. It just makes every family event tough to enjoy when you don't know when they're going to "want to talk".

[Anonymous]

My ILs are exactly like this, and I don’t think there is anything you can do but limit contact. IME.

[Anonymous]

What are your beliefs? You make it sound like ILs are one religion and you're another. I always find these types of posts somewhat suspect, a troll starting a topic out of boredom due to the scarcity of details. Is your hypothetical DH really going to completely cut off his parents for proselytizing? This is pretty extreme and not to mention childish and selfish.

I would tell your hypothetical DH to suck it up, smile politely, and just change the topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are your beliefs? You make it sound like ILs are one religion and you're another. I always find these types of posts somewhat suspect, a troll starting a topic out of boredom due to the scarcity of details. Is your hypothetical DH really going to completely cut off his parents for proselytizing? This is pretty extreme and not to mention childish and selfish.

I would tell your hypothetical DH to suck it up, smile politely, and just change the topic.

I thought OP made it pretty clear. ILs pushing their religion on our family DH and I have always been respectful although we don't share the same beliefs.

OP I think your dh should be upfront. Tell them he is on the verge of cutting them off if they do not stop. After that follow his lead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ILs are extremely religious. Every gift for the kids is religious based. DH and I have always been respectful although we don't share the same beliefs. They have started pushing more with texts, emails, books, videos and pulling DH or I aside that we need to find religion. DH is ready to completely cut them off since they can't seem to respect our beliefs. Is there any way to talk to someone like this? No matter how often we say no thank you, they keep pushing.

Religion has affixed a mental block in their brain that is impervious to your requests to respect your choice to not follow their faith. They won't change or understand you.

[Anonymous]

I think DH should take the lead because it's his family.

Maybe a few months of NC will jolt them and realize they cant keep this sh*t up if they want to keep seeing their grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think instead of saying, “no,thank you”, DH needs to tell them something like, “this stops now or we will need to take an extended break from you.” If they break the boundary, then don’t see them for a month or two. Then offer another chance, reminding them of the boundary. Be absolutely clear and firm. When the second chance comes he reminds them, they can’t share their religion with your family or you won’t see them. Don’t argue, debate, whatever. Just set the boundary and keep it.

I hope you don’t have to cut them off totally. Maybe if they get a taste of it they will realize they need to change.

Yes, I like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are your beliefs? You make it sound like ILs are one religion and you're another. I always find these types of posts somewhat suspect, a troll starting a topic out of boredom due to the scarcity of details. Is your hypothetical DH really going to completely cut off his parents for proselytizing? This is pretty extreme and not to mention childish and selfish.

I would tell your hypothetical DH to suck it up, smile politely, and just change the topic.

I thought OP made it pretty clear. ILs pushing their religion on our family DH and I have always been respectful although we don't share the same beliefs.

OP I think your dh should be upfront. Tell them he is on the verge of cutting them off if they do not stop. After that follow his lead.

No, it's not clear. "Their religion" = what does that mean? Are they Southern Baptist and their son married a Jewish woman and is raising the kids Jewish? Or is it the ILs are devoutly Christian and the son and DIL are culturally Christian meaning they celebrate Christmas but otherwise don't go to church, meaning they have no real belief.

Why would you cut off your parents because they are religious and want to share their faith? Cutting off is pretty serious. What does it even mean? We are no longer talking? That's pretty drastic. I have different political views from my parents but I don't "cut" them off for it.

I find it fascinating that for some people on here the default response is to cut off family members even just for differing opinions. People who say that always strike me as the ones with the real problems, not the family members they're cutting off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are your beliefs? You make it sound like ILs are one religion and you're another. I always find these types of posts somewhat suspect, a troll starting a topic out of boredom due to the scarcity of details. Is your hypothetical DH really going to completely cut off his parents for proselytizing? This is pretty extreme and not to mention childish and selfish.

I would tell your hypothetical DH to suck it up, smile politely, and just change the topic.

I thought OP made it pretty clear. ILs pushing their religion on our family DH and I have always been respectful although we don't share the same beliefs.

OP I think your dh should be upfront. Tell them he is on the verge of cutting them off if they do not stop. After that follow his lead.

No, it's not clear. "Their religion" = what does that mean? Are they Southern Baptist and their son married a Jewish woman and is raising the kids Jewish? Or is it the ILs are devoutly Christian and the son and DIL are culturally Christian meaning they celebrate Christmas but otherwise don't go to church, meaning they have no real belief.

Why would you cut off your parents because they are religious and want to share their faith? Cutting off is pretty serious. What does it even mean? We are no longer talking? That's pretty drastic. I have different political views from my parents but I don't "cut" them off for it.

I find it fascinating that for some people on here the default response is to cut off family members even just for differing opinions. People who say that always strike me as the ones with the real problems, not the family members they're cutting off.

Found the in-laws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are your beliefs? You make it sound like ILs are one religion and you're another. I always find these types of posts somewhat suspect, a troll starting a topic out of boredom due to the scarcity of details. Is your hypothetical DH really going to completely cut off his parents for proselytizing? This is pretty extreme and not to mention childish and selfish.

I would tell your hypothetical DH to suck it up, smile politely, and just change the topic.

I thought OP made it pretty clear. ILs pushing their religion on our family DH and I have always been respectful although we don't share the same beliefs.

OP I think your dh should be upfront. Tell them he is on the verge of cutting them off if they do not stop. After that follow his lead.

No, it's not clear. "Their religion" = what does that mean? Are they Southern Baptist and their son married a Jewish woman and is raising the kids Jewish? Or is it the ILs are devoutly Christian and the son and DIL are culturally Christian meaning they celebrate Christmas but otherwise don't go to church, meaning they have no real belief.

Why would you cut off your parents because they are religious and want to share their faith? Cutting off is pretty serious. What does it even mean? We are no longer talking? That's pretty drastic. I have different political views from my parents but I don't "cut" them off for it.

I find it fascinating that for some people on here the default response is to cut off family members even just for differing opinions. People who say that always strike me as the ones with the real problems, not the family members they're cutting off.

Aggressively pushing religion (and they ARE being aggressive, not just “sharing their faith”) is disrespectful, and obnoxious. I sure don’t want to be around that, and would give them one warning before taking an extended break from them.