What I have learned in allowing my adult children into our business

[Anonymous]

That I would never have done it. They never fully learned the full extent of HAVING to have a work ethic. Of having to be there at 8sharp and not leave.minute before 8. No consequences and as a result though they are fairly diligent, if I am to be honest there do not work nearly as hard as the other employees and somethings it makes me embarrassed and angry.

Just a cautionary tale to anyone thinking of bringing in your adult child to your business....I would have done a much better job separating myself from them as parent/child and held them to the same expectations as everyone else.

Looking back I would have done them a huge favor to have made them go out and get a job for at least a year or two and then possibly join us. This would instilled a stronger foundation. I made a mistake and own it, just sharing in case anyone out there is in this position.

[Anonymous]

You expect them to work from 8:00 am - 8:00 pm?

[Anonymous]

You're combining two different things mistakenly.

You're saying you wouldn't have hired your kids. Then you're also saying you wouldn't hire them without them having prior working experience elsewhere.

Of COURSE it's realistic they are not going to be as diligent as the owner of a business. Why would you expect your kids, as employees to work 12 hour days? It's not THEIR business.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, OP. I'd rather my kids make their mistakes with me instead of burning bridges with other people who are going to make snap judgments and never forgive them. I don't have a business for my kids to work in, but I've thought this about internships. The first internship my ADHD/ASD kid takes this summer will probably be a disaster, unless the supervisor gives him explicit instructions and issues frequent reminders. *I* will remind him about keeping to the required hours, dressing correctly, shaking hands, looking people in the eye, following through on instructions, basic things! But the details that pertain to the job, well, I can't help him with that. Let's just say that first internship shouldn't be in his dream field with people he wants to ask for jobs later!

[Anonymous]

DH had to run his dads business when he had cancer.

He paid off many credit cards, reduced debt and inventory, actually did inventory, and basically just overall got the company into a much better position. FIL has been back for a year now and has racked up all the credit cards again, orders way too much inventory, back in bad standing with vendors. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

OP here sorry! Meant 8-5pm our normal business hours.

Yes I guess I did contradict myself, what I meant to say was I would not have hired them until they had worked for someone else 1-2 years to build a strong furcation and then MAYBE would have brought them in.

A lot of complex conflicts with family working together.

[Anonymous]

Nepotism also causes a morale issue among the other employees. You know that you have to treat the children or other relatives of the boss carefully or it may affect your job. They also know their jobs are secure and it shows in their behavior.

[Anonymous]

OP, just stating the obvious that you can turn this around. Even if it's been a year, two or five- or more! You can always have the come-to-Jesus performance appraisal and finally be honest with them, set boundaries and goals. Otherwise you are not improving the dynamic and just continuing to inflict this on yourself and others.

[Anonymous]

Not too late to fire them and tell them to go get a job and come back after they’ve developed a work ethic.

Watch Tommy Boy. It can be done.

[Anonymous]

I work with mostly small, family-owned businesses and it is very hard.

You need to do a reset about expectations. You also need to ensure that your valuable employees who are not family see a path toward growth.

I strongly recommend hiring a consultant and doing strategic planning with your family and core staff. (Note: I am NOT a consultant!) they need to learn to take the business seriously, and you need to run it like a business.

[Anonymous]

Just to say that I worked in a business where the partners' teenagers all had summer jobs. We were specifically told that these kids could not be given certain types of work, like photocopying. That was beneath them. One kid spent all summer working on his novel. Another was studying for the LSATs. They were good kids, but the business needed to set up ground rules that treated existing employees fairly. Oh, the morale problems! They "earned" the same salary I did!

[Anonymous]

Every single childhood friend of my mother’s that she is still in contact with as well as some of their friends has spilled the beans on my mother. Loose lips around friends and lying to your own children is a stupid way to handle your affairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every single childhood friend of my mother’s that she is still in contact with as well as some of their friends has spilled the beans on my mother. Loose lips around friends and lying to your own children is a stupid way to handle your affairs.

Lol what are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

My brother and I both worked for my uncle's company during our summers and winter breaks from college. From the start my dad said that our behavior reflected on how my uncle would be seen and how our uncle and family would see us. He basically said don't embarrass the family. We were both very hard workers with that talking to floating around our heads. And I was generally a pretty free spirited and somewhat lazy 18-22 year old.

[Anonymous]

Turn it around now. Start writing them up or whatever you do with other employees. If you don't, 1 of 2 things will happen (or both). 1. You will lose employees who are sick of your nepotism. 2. Your kids will never form a good work ethic and this will fail them in later life. This isnt a "would've, could've, should've" situation. You can 100% change now.