my 24 year old daughter

[Anonymous]

MY 24 year old daughter is doing well career wise, working as Sped teacher in PWCS, the problem is she wants to move out with a boyfriend she meet in January, I want her to move out when she able too, but what should I say something to her about signing a lease with someone they were just with for a month?
Her boyfriend seems nice, but he is 25 year old with 2 kids, he does work full time, but I just want her to wait a bit longer and not sure how to tell her that.

[Anonymous]

That’s crazy. Has she had a serious bf before ? What’s her rush?

[Anonymous]

No no no!!!!! He sounds like a loser of the highest order.

[Anonymous]

It's her decision, she needs to learn her own lessons, you can't stop her and besides, she will need your sympathetic ear if things start to go south. Just tell her it seems a bit rushed but you know she is level headed, you trust her judgment, and you are there for her if she needs you.

[Anonymous]

It's hard to watch our adult children make poor decisions. If it doesn't work out let her know she is welcome back home. I'd remind her to use contraception, and to wait to have a child.

[Anonymous]

good god, no! dump the 25 year old with 2 kids, pronto!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MY 24 year old daughter is doing well career wise, working as Sped teacher in PWCS, the problem is she wants to move out with a boyfriend she meet in January, I want her to move out when she able too, but what should I say something to her about signing a lease with someone they were just with for a month?
Her boyfriend seems nice, but he is 25 year old with 2 kids, he does work full time, but I just want her to wait a bit longer and not sure how to tell her that.

I'm sorry but no one with 2 kids and broken relationship with their mom at 25 and ready to move in with a new woman after few weeks isn't a stable person.

If your DD isn't willing to listen to you, seek help from someone whom she is more likely to listen to. If she ignores their advice as well then there isn't much you can do. Just hope for the best.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a mother's nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's her decision, she needs to learn her own lessons, you can't stop her and besides, she will need your sympathetic ear if things start to go south. Just tell her it seems a bit rushed but you know she is level headed, you trust her judgment, and you are there for her if she needs you.

Things will go south soon enough, can she absorb the cost of breaking the lease? It might be worth the lesson

[Anonymous]

I would at least try to have a conversation wtih DD asking about her thoughts and feelings about the relationship and this big step. You don't want to give unsolicited advice though (Romeo & Juliet syndrome).

[Anonymous]

I would say, you are more than welcome to stay with him, but I would not sign a lease so she has the ability to leave if she needs to. It also means it doesn't ruin her credit if he doesn't pay for whatever reason

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he wants a babysitter for his kids when he has custody. Why not move in with a friend instead?

[Anonymous]

If you can afford it, I would (and do with my daughter who works for a non-profit) help her with rent in a decent place with nice roommates. She will have new friends to go out with and can evaluate this relationship from a place of strength rather than weakness. Dont badmouth the boyfriend, just tell her she is special and cherished and you want her to enjoy life without rushing into the responsibilities of pretend wife and step-mother.

[Anonymous]

Dating someone with two kids at 25 is not ok. It's setting herself up for failure.

[Anonymous]

Please tell me she hasn't met these kids.